duan Page 159 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Is What Should Happen Whenever You Play A Sports Video Game
We've all been there: Playing Bulls versus Blazers on SNES, Shasta'd out of your mind, Kevin Duckworth at the line. He misses. You lose. Wouldn't you like a chance to see Duckworth—the real Duckworth—atone?...
Why Is Shaq Acting Like A Statue In Boston?
The Big Aristotle headed out to Harvard Square today and...stood still. For some reason. He announced his plans on Twitter, of course, and crowds soon engulfed the struggling actor and sometime law enforcement official....
Ever Wonder What It's Like When The Police Get You Stoned And Make You Drive Around?
But, you know, without living in some crazy, entrapment-filled police state? I hadn't either, but thankfully LA Times columnist Steve Lopez got to smoke some dank shit from some CHiPs—ha, chips—officers and then drive around for his and our amusement....
Vulcan Mascot's Decision To Light A Homecoming Float On Fire Was Highly Illogical
A California University of Pennsylvania—huh—student who plays the school's Vulcan mascot has been charged with setting fire to a homecoming parade float last Saturday....
Here's The Highly Amusing MIT "Fuck List"
Of course, The Smoking Gun got their sleuthy little hands on it before our I-team did. And, just as we suspected, it's predictably 70's, with a cute little *** ratings system and silly cartoons....
Samuel Eto'o Beats Stupid Italian Racists 1-0
Oh look, a match in Italy between Cagliari and Inter Milan was temporarily stopped so stadium personnel could get a handle on a bunch of racist chanting aimed at Inter's Samuel Eto'o....
Here's Video Of A Baby Monkey Riding A Small Pig
No, it's not SnOOki caught on nannycam with a Juicehead Gorilla. Just nature's reenactment....
The Steinbrenner Family Doesn't Want You To Know George Had A Heart, Penis
Let's take some time to think about George Steinbrenner as a sexual being. One who, at 16, was filled with "Pools and Puddles of Purple Passion." Everyone grossed out? Good. So are the Steinbrenners....
Michigan's Parachute Guy Has Raised The Bar On Ball-Delivery Stunts
This video is nearly four minutes long. It has a man jumping out of a plane and into Michigan Stadium before last week's Michigan St-Michigan game. It is great....
This Is What Pittsburgh Looks Like When The Pirates Actually Win Something
That's a picture of the bedlam Pittsburgh saw after the Pirates won the 1960 World Series on a walk-off home run by Bill Mazeroski. Yes, ladies dancing in a circle counts as bedlam....
Vlade And Drazen Sitting In A Tree, U-N-I-T-I-N-G (The Balkans)
The "30 For 30" about Vlade Divac And Drazen Petrovic premieres tonight. It's called Once Brothers, and depending on who you ask, it's either powerful or tripe. Quality aside, we'll be watching because we like Vlade and Drazen....
Let's Talk Football For A Second
Quite the game tonight. Division leaders vs. an early contender trying to stay in the thick of things. A QB returning to the team he failed to save, then disappointed. Yup, plenty of reasons to watch this one....
Here's Video Of A Woman In White Lingerie Hitting A Woman In Blue Lingerie Really Hard
Even football players in shoulder pads and lacy unmentionables should wear helmets. This is the age of the concussion, after all....
Your "DUANnie Baseball" Yankees-Twins Open Thread
Yankees fans are an arrogant breed. Twenty-seven championships tend to do that for a franchise. This is why it's so fun to ask one simple question: How many World Series rings did Don Mattingly win?...
Here's A Waving Otter To Clear Your Heads Of Dong For The Weekend
Aww, he thinks he's people. Go here for more dong-free sweetness....
Letter Chiding Baylor Students For Clogging Plumbing System With Semen Is Too Good To Be True, Alas
According to an anonymous tipster, the residence halls at Baylor were recently clogged with semen, leading to this desperate plea from one residence hall's director. Sadly, it's a fake, as our brief conversation with the hilariously put-upon director confirmed....
The Saddest Sports Photograph We've Ever Seen
Oh, poor Smokin' Joe Frazier. You were one of the greatest heavyweights of all time. You don't deserve this....
Cracking The Case Of The Oscar Winner Who Hooked Up With Matthew Berry's Friend
When we last checked in, Matthew Berry's friend had gotten some strange from a Hollywood actress and it was evidently a big deal—assuming Matthew Berry has friends who look like Matthew Berry. The case was cold, until now....
Your Floribama Bloodthirst Open Thread
In a perfect world, this here should be a "Here's Video From Gate 42, Section U-1, Row 1, Seats 3-8 of Bryant-Denny Stadium Showing Gator Fan/Quad-Karate Master Meeting Up With The Retards He Taunted Last Week."...
This Is A Photo Of Danzig Wearing A Danzig Shirt After Buying Cat Supplies
Glenn Danzig is Glenn Danzig from the band Danzig. Therefore, it is surreal to see Glenn Danzig wearing a t-shirt that promotes the band Danzig. It is doubly surreal when Glenn Danzig of the band Danzig wears a Danzig t-shirt while carrying—or possibly returning—various cat supplies....