dwi Page 46 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

1987 NBA Commercial Will Excite You With Smooth Jazz Stylings
Your morning roundup for March 2, the day universal health care finally failed....

Mets Ask For $50 Million More In Loans, Tell Mom They're Doing Fine, Just Need Some Money To Join A Gym
On Friday, we learned that the Mets had received $25 million in funding from Bud Selig's secret piggybank, on top of $75 million they'd already borrowed from Major League Baseball. Surely this meant the Wilpon family would finally have to explore selling the team. Or at the very least turn themselve...

Mets Owners Max Out MLB's Credit Line, Start Putting Stuff On Their Mom's Neiman Marcus Card
It's official, everybody: the Mets are broke. Wait, you knew that already. But now they're officially really, really broke. They're so broke, they just put all their CDs and VHS tapes up for auction. Where else will you find Jungle 2 Jungle and its soundtrack in one place, both lightly used? Well, B...

This Was The Day Snow Tits Evolved Into Telestrator Tits
Halfway through the second period of tonight's Detroit Red Wings/Dallas Stars game, booth talk apparently turned to penalty-box shoulder pads. The end result: Telestrator Breastuses on what appears to be Mike Ribeiro of the Stars. (H/T Ryan C.)...

The Mets Are Just One Giant I.O.U.
Things cannot get much worse for the Wilpons. On Friday, a judge unsealed the complaint against the Mets owners filed on behalf of victims of Bernard L. Madoff's giant Ponzi scheme. Turns out the Mets really need a couple bucks, but they'll pay you right back, swear to God....

Jim Gray Doesn't Like Being Asked About His Sources
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Mets Owners Were Really, Really Confident In Bernie Madoff
Somehow, some way, long after Bernard Madoff began his 150-year prison sentence, the Mets are still being made to look foolish with their money....

Mets Excel At Ponzi Schemes, Nothing Else
So what if the New York Mets have finished fourth in the NL East in back-to-back seasons? So what if Oliver Perez and Luis Castillo are due a combined $19 million this year? The Mets are baseball's best at timing Ponzi schemes....

"Golden Radio Voice" Guy Has Golden Mugshot History
Courtesy of "NFL Facts and Rumors" via The Smoking Gun comes visual documentation as to why the Ted Williams had trouble getting a job. Also, he was detained by LAPD early this morning for squabbling. [The Smoking Gun]...

Manny Pacquiao, Cam Newton Or A Bull In Edmonton: Who Was The Biggest Winner?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Braylon Edwards Won't Be Punished This Year
Prosecutors say they're discussing a possible plea deal in Edwards's DWI case, but his next court appearance isn't until January after his lawyer requested more time to file motions. Maybe he'll be suspended for some two-a-days in August. [Star-Ledger]...

Dwight Howard Could Probably Be In One Of Orlando's Top 15 Wedding Bands
Dwight Howard: fearsome defender, likable enough guy, and...cover band front man. Yes, that's right. Dwight—with a full child-backed band—is releasing an album of covers from illustrious acts like The Black Eyed Peas and Smash Mouth. It's terrible. [Sparty and Friends]...

Angry Readers Defend Brett Favre
When a story of this magnitude touches down, there are inevitably new visitors to the site. Some of them are nice and stay a while. Others just pop by to yell. Here are some emails from those lovely people....

Sources: Two More Women Who Worked With Jets Received Lewd Texts From Favre (UPDATE)
This is about to get worse. It appears Jenn Sterger wasn't the only woman who received unwanted and inappropriate text messages from Brett Favre while he played for the Jets. Favre also pursued two team massage therapists, according to one of the women. [UPDATE: The women have sued.]...

Letter Chiding Baylor Students For Clogging Plumbing System With Semen Is Too Good To Be True, Alas
According to an anonymous tipster, the residence halls at Baylor were recently clogged with semen, leading to this desperate plea from one residence hall's director. Sadly, it's a fake, as our brief conversation with the hilariously put-upon director confirmed....

Brett Favre's Cellphone Seduction Of Jenn Sterger (Update)
In the video here (parts of which are NSFW due to penis photos at the 2:08 mark), you'll see and hear all the strange messages Jenn Sterger received from someone she was led to believe was Brett Favre. [Final update here.]...

10 Or So Minutes Until Dong Time
Apologies for the delay. For the record, I believe the "Croc" may actually be a slipper, one of those buckskin jobs. There also appears to be a sports hernia....

Did A Jets PR Person Act As Liaison Between Brett Favre And Jenn Sterger?
Remember this? According to documents we've obtained, Jenn Sterger was contacted by Brett Favre — or by someone she was led to believe was Brett Favre — through an intermediary: Jets media relations manager Jared Winley....

Here's Ted Williams Talking About His Final Home Run
Updike, Schmupdike. Here's The Splendid Splinter in his own words, talking about his last home run, how he knew it was going to happen, and depriving the fans of the hat tip they wanted oh so much....

Stories That Actually Do Kind Of Suck: John Updike On Ted Williams
It's the 50th anniversary of Ted Williams's final game, which means someone, inevitably, will want to talk about John Updike's gooey poetastering all over the pages of New Yorker. Read the story again, if you can bear it, and then explain to me what a "peeping-type Easter egg" is....