e Page 7700 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Phillies And Giants Engaged In One Of Those Brawls That Really Aren't Brawls But Look Good On TV Anyway
Your morning roundup for Aug. 6, the day our Chinese overlords recommended we seek treatment for our mooching-trillions addiction. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

There's No Cryin' In Mutton-Bustin'
North Texas's world-renowned mutton-bustin' exhibition, the Mesquite Championship Rodeo, will soon be upon us. Which means Good Day Dallas, with whom we've had some fun before, had to visit the rodeo. And when they visit, everything goes wrong. Because, you see, these are four-year-olds riding waywa...

Video Game Addict Quinn Pitcock Attempts Another NFL Comeback
In 2007, the Indianapolis Colts drafted All-American defensive tackle Quinn Pitcock in the third round. But Pitcock retired after just one season in the NFL. His early exit had nothing to do with injury or drugs or guns. Well, actually it did have to do with guns. Pitcock, you see, was addicted to v...

Soccer Fans In Portland Still Behaving Curiously Like Soccer Fans In Any City Outside The United States
The Portland Timbers—seventh in the MLS's Western Conference and 7-10-4 overall—defeated the league-leading L.A. Galaxy 3-0 on Wednesday night. In spite of their hangovers, the Timbers Army was in fine form for the upset. Someone trained a camera on the heart of the crew just before Jorge Perlaza ...

This Evening: What Are You Looking At, Dummy?
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 5, the day the BBC reported killer plants ate blue tits. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Georgia Scheduled Boise State Because They Thought Kellen Moore Had Graduated
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: spoiler alert, the Bulldogs start the season 0-2....

Jay Cutler And Kristin Cavallari Are Returning The Wedding Gifts You Sent Them, With Dainty Notes In Some Cases
Previously, we brought you the story of some Deadspin readers who bought gifts for Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari off their wedding registry. Then we told you that the Bears QB dumped Cavallari. Here comes the fallout, courtesy of Crate & Barrel....

Cockblocked By J.R. Smith!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

When Mays And Mantle Were Banned From Baseball: Putting A-Rod's Gambling "Problem" In Context
As Alex Rodriguez stays in the headlines because he's Alex Rodriguez (even though he wasn't actually at the high-stakes poker game mentioned in the tabloids since he was playing in the World Series at the time), the real story is the re-emergence of baseball's complicated relationship with gambling....

Has God Forsaken Tim Tebow?
Poor Tim Tebow. No matter how much time he spends on his knees, he's probably not going to be the starting quarterback in Denver. Kyle Orton has been practicing exclusively with the Broncos first-team offense. Tebow hasn't gotten a single snap. According to Woody Paige at the Denver Post, the young ...

Here's Video Of Michael Beasley "Mushing" A Fan At A New York City Park Last Night
We learned a new word today: mushing. A mush is when a person puts a hand directly onto another person's face and pushes him or her backward. Minnesota's Michael Beasley "mushed" a heckling fan at New York City's Dyckman Park last night. The incident is not expected to help his job security....

What Jock Culture Does To Pukes Like You
The following piece originally ran in The Nation's sports issue, on newsstands now....

<em>Welcome Back, JaMarcus</em>: Russell Will Return To LSU In The Fall To Take Some Classes
LSU Sports Information Director Michael Bonnette tweeted yesterday that former Oakland Raiders quarterback JaMarcus Russell would be returning to Baton Rouge to take classes in the fall. In his honor, we've cut you the opening credits of Welcome Back, JaMarcus....

These Deadbeat Parents Fell For The Old "Free Tickets To The Iron Bowl" Trick
The Lee County Sheriff's Office in Opelika, Ala. took a creative approach to rounding up a few parents who'd fallen way behind in their child support payments: they told them they'd won free tickets to the annual Iron Bowl, and then they arrested them when they came to collect on the prize. It's l...

Pirates Pitcher Finishes Inning, Gives Himself A Gatorade Shower, Pirates Lose Anyway
James McDonald had quite a game last night. Pitched seven innings for the first time this season. Rapped a bases-clearing double. Scored a run. And when he finished retiring the Cubs in order in the seventh, as the above video shows, he had himself a grand ol' time. The Pirates had (cough) been in...

Matt Stairs: Spectacularly Just Good Enough
Matt Stairs, who on Wednesday announced his retirement, was the character actor who had a few decent roles in the 1970s and played solid bit parts ever after. He was a Ned Beatty of a player. He had a fine career. Always on the roster for his offense, he delivered above-average results with the bat ...

David Ortiz Wants His Fucking RBI
Before last night's game, Ortiz crashed Terry Francona's press conference with some strong language and poor timing. "I'm fucking pissed. We need to have a talk."...

Shane Victorino Could Have At Least Tried To Help The Kid Up
Your morning roundup for Aug. 5, the day after Pete Carroll ceded all responsibility for the Seahawks. Video of Victorino's indifference to the the bat boy falling is here. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Pee Wee Herman Spent Some Time With Tony Romo Today At Cowboys Camp
Per the Dallas Morning News, "Pee-Wee Herman was at Cowboys' practice Thursday night in a gray suit with a red bowtie. He took some time to pose for a photo with Jerry Jones and his sons, Stephen and Jerry Jr. No word on if coach Jason Garrett will hang it up at Valley Ranch as another motivational...

This Week In Unintentional-Dong Picture Submissions
Like images of Jesus on pancakes, toast and frying pans, reflections of the Virgin Mary in windows, or a Leprechaun sighting in an Alabama tree, dongs are all around us....