e Page 8791 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

B.J. Upton Has No Time To Run Out Doubles
One has to wonder why the Rays didn't pull the trigger and sign Barry Bonds long ago; he would have fit in quite well. They could give him the locker right next to B.J. Upton, and together they could form the Home Run or Nothing Club. Hmm. Are storm clouds gathering above the Rays' quest of an AL Ea...

Morning Blogdome: Argentinian Soccer Women Also Didn't Get The Slant-Eye Memo
• No, no, no... they're just saying "Hello and thank you!" :"The first time is chance. The second time is coincidence. The third time is a pattern. As the battle rages on over whether the Spanish nation’s Olympic heroes are racist for their slant-eyed shenanigans, another country whose main language...

It's Cheer Day In Philadelphia! (This Will Not End Well)
Ah Philadelphia, Land of 10,000 Losses; where they throw batteries at J.D. Drew and boo Santa Claus. Derision falls like rain here, and everyone gets soaked; especially the Phillies, who are in danger of slip slidin' away in the NL East. The reason? According to Jimmy Rollins, it's fan negativity. H...

Michael Phelps Getting Him Some Lindsay Lohan (OMG, LOL)
When it comes to Michael Phelps, Lindsay Lohan is apparently willing to postpone this whole lesbian thing. While interviewing Michael's mom Debbie on Monday, Hobbit-like Access Hollywood correspondent Billy Bush received a text message from Lohan, which he proceeded to show Debbie while on the air. ...

So What's On The Menu, Baby?
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know....

The Prodigal, Bloodshot, Neckbearded, Booze-Swilling Son Returns
In the past hour there have been no less than three emails with "The Neckbeard Returns!" as the subject line. This is either a bold move or an absolutely desperate one, but it's true: Kyle Orton is the starting quarterback for the 2008 Chicago Bears' season opener. Orton overcame Rex Grossman in the...

NFL Season Preview: The Detroit Lions
We're less than a month away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to start the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. This year, the previews w...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after colliding with a suspected llama ... • MLB: Houston at Milwaukee (8 p.m., ET). CC Sabathia tries to extend Brewers' sellout streak to 16 games. [ESPN2] • NFL: Preseason, Cleveland at New York Giants (8 p.m., ET). We want Quinn! We want Quinn! [ESPN] • Olympics: Gymnastics, Indivi...

Tom Brady Is Secretly Fuming
Why, gaygolddigers.com? Why was I left off the list yet again? Manchester United midfielder Cristiano Ronaldo was named Ultimate Gay Icon by the web site, beating, as Goal.com put it, "stiff competition from celebrities such as Kylie Minogue, Elton John and David Beckham." Hmm. Personally I think th...

Afternoon Blogdome: But What About Your Dry Erase Board's Filthy Mouth?
• ESPN's "Steve" finally gets time to reflect on his commercial experience: "Also the karaoke to Erin Andrews. She called me out during the broadcast and said I wasn't giving her any love, so we decided to pick the most ridiculous song to karaoke (Werewolves of London) and dedicate it to her. It was...

Stop Us If You've Heard This One Before
David Hirshey Michael Bertin writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer. If the season were to end today Stupid Fucking Bolton would be going to the Champions League. A corner of the universe just started to fold in on itself simply because that sentence was typed. If... If my aunt had a penis she'd...

College Football Previews: #14 Texas Tech
Today's Texas Tech preview of pirate head coach Mike Leach is brought to you by Stephen Hagen. He's a Texas Tech alum and he hates A&M with unmitigated fury. So with only ten days until kickoff, enjoy his preview. Also, again, I'd like to apologize to all the people who wrote in requesting to do a p...

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Isiah Thomas
It's worth noting that no SHOTY winner has ever made the Deadspin Hall of Fame. Barbaro might be up for nomination again this year. Amazingly, this is Isiah's first ever nomination. So much to choose from, Isiah-wise, though I'll always be partial to "Isiah Thomas' Knicks Legacy, Summed Up In One P...

CBS Accidentally Leaks College Football Television Schedule?
I've gotten this link from several people but am still working to confirm its accuracy. Typically CBS doesn't announce which game they're covering until about ten days before the game would kick off. Which always makes planning travel and hotels and the like difficult. But allegedly, due to a compu...

Removing Vowels Make Comments Appear to Be Written in Bulgarian
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, Commenting Guru Rob Iracane will write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week. Mr. Iracane, co-proprietor of the brilliant Walkoff Walk , is also the guy who approves comments a...

Tell Us How You Really Feel, Mates
The place: London, England. The sport: Nonleague soccer. The opponents: Welling United and Maidstone United. The situation: The goalie (not sure which team) has just allowed a soft goal, causing fans to spell out their displeasure in no uncertain terms. It really is ingenious, but may also be NSFW, ...

BOCOG Vice President Wang Wei Wants You to Stop Bothering Him
The Olympics are in full-swing and they're in China, so, you know, it should be a rather fascinating world event, if you're into fascinating world events. And we are proud to welcome back our Deadspin Beijing Bureau, our own trio of correspondents living in China and reporting on everything they see...

Oh, That Michael Phelps; He's Everywhere
Your Olympic highlights from only moments ago or yesterday, depending on your time zone ... Chinese police guard the land events like dobermans on Red Bull, but evidently they consider 10 feet from shore international waters. No sooner had Marit Van Eupen and Kirsten Van Der Kolk of the Netherlands ...

Tom Barbero Was Only Trying To Cool Off
Nothing gets a suburban small town more in a tizzy than when a "noted sex offender" moves into the neighborhood. All the rehabilitation and prison time in the world can never convince overly- protective parents this monster will ever be available for car-pool or babysitting duties. Granted, regardle...

College Football Previews: #15 Virginia Tech
We're rolling through the top 25 of the coaches' poll. Today's first preview is the Virginia Tech Hokies. Brought to you by deadspin commenter, FrankBeamersGoiter. Known in the real world as Jonathan Dean. Ten days to college football kickoff. Loud whispers out of Blacksburg mention that Sean Glenn...