e Page 8849 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Beat L.A.! Beat L.A.! Beat L.A.! (Yes. Boston Is Going To The NBA Finals.)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who has a funny feeling the Spurs aren't going to repeat this year. When he's not stating the glaringly obvious, he can be found mocking someone or something at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...

About Last Night...
What you missed while being COVERED IN BEES!......

Hitchin' A Ride
• Foul, or not a foul? Doesn't matter now. • Oddsmaker came back! • This car is awesome. • Michael Jackson, UFC fan. • Loving YMCA. • Ryan Howard, a Tractor Traylor heir. • Alfonso Soriano is sensitive. • Back from France. • Scary. • Here comes Reilly! • Borat and heavyweight champs....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while cowering from the New Jersey Ice Cream Wars ... • College softball: World Series, Game 5, at Oklahoma City (7 p.m.). There will be no carrying your opponent around the bases here. [ESPN2] • Golf: Champions Tour, Principal Charity Classic, first round, at West Des Moines (6:30 p.m...

NBA Playoffs: Celtics-Pistons, Game 6
Basketbawful has broken out the highest quality Wiccan spell components - coffin nails, dead sea salt, glory water, graveyard dirt, and a very phallic ritual candle - to uncover the darkest mysteries of tonight's NBA playoff game....

We Think People Should Mate For Life, Like Pigeons Or Catholics.
We're older than her father, can you believe that? We're dating a girl, wherein, we can beat up her father....

Red Auerbach, Early Anti-Flopping Advocate
Big kudos to Bullets Forever for discovering this suddenly topical clip of Red Auerbach extolling the evils of flopping. You tell 'em, Red....

Your "Let's Get Out Of Here Already" Friday Afternoon Picture Post Of Surrealism
We're making this a Friday afternoon tradition. Somebody arrest that moose, fast....

Bert Blyleven Loves To Fart
OK, now I get it. I've always wondered why Bert Blyleven wasn't in the Hall of Fame, and now it's clear: Post-game flatulence. He's just simply farted on too many writers over his long career. It's all here in this rather surreal interview with Big League Stew....

Frank Deford Still Loves The Game
If you - or your "client" - would like to be included in an upcoming "Interviews Of A Lifetime", please contact either myself or Deadspin HQ for inquiries....

What About Some NFL Fines?
• Some NFL fines that would be helpful. [NE Patriots Draft] • The flop rules will keep Coach K at Duke. [East Coast Bias] • Jemele Hill, talkin' hoops. [Hoops Addict] • Royals and animals, mating. [Royales With Cheese] • Some undrafted NBA free agents you should love. [The Grand National Championshi...

Vince Young In Dire Need Of Media Training
Vince Young should probably just take a vow of silence or hire a full-time transcriber to follow him around when he's talking to the media, because it appears he's having trouble translating his own words. Last week, Young apparently told NFL.com writer Thomas George that he was considering retirem...

Media Approval Ratings: Colin Cowherd
We vowed once never to mention Mr. "Schrutebag" on the site again, but these are the Media Approval Ratings, and we must be comprehensive. So therefore, with nose held:...

Darrent Williams' Family Gets A Miracle
The Darrent Williams murder appeared to be one that would go unsolved, wrapped up in the politics of gang warfare with witnesses keeping the most crucial of evidence to themselves for fear of retaliation. Although police had plenty of suspects, including the pissed off gang members who were at the c...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Your 2008 Israeli Baseball League Season Tickets Are Now Worth Bubkes
A sad day, folks: The Israeli Baseball League has cancelled its 2008 season. We don't want to point any fingers, but, uh, you know, the players were chosen by former Red Sox GM Dan Duquette. Might be a factor....

Mariah Isn't Even The Worst
The famous Cincinnati mayor Mark Mallory is still probably the worst, though his endless "jokey" PR campaign about it took a lot of the fun out of it. If we ever had to throw out a first pitch sometime, we'd be so nervous, we probably wouldn't do much better. We wonder if celebrities can just start ...

Larry Wayne Jones Jr. And The Chase For .400
The controversy continues to rage: Should a grown man answer to the name of Chipper? My vote is no, unless you appeared in a '60s sitcom starring Fred MacMurray, or are hitting over .400 in the major leagues. Here's to Chipper Jones of the Atlanta Braves, who is hitting .420 as of Thursday night aft...

How Far We've Come From The Kobe Video
Amazingly, it has been less than a year since the ridiculous Kobe Video broke; look at Kobe now. To this day, we cannot fathom what compelled Kobe to light Bynum up like that to two random dudes he started talking to in the parking lot. We love TheKobeVideo.com; the famously "entrepreneurial" site p...

Lakers Worship Shiny Ball, Advance To Finals
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who has a funny feeling the Spurs aren't going to repeat this year. When he's not stating the glaringly obvious, he can be found mocking someone or something at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...