e Page 8924 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Duke, North Carolina Make It Rain
Back off, people! We know that there's a drought, and you're thirsty. But this water is being saved to drench the synthetic turf at the field hockey stadium. We have our priorities at Duke University....

Shuler Still Playing Bad Football In DC
Stop Shuler, the site that unsuccessfully attempted to keep now-Congressman Heath Shuler from returning to Washington, D.C., would probably have a field day with this: Shuler was the quarterback for the Congressional team in a game against the Capitol Police ... and he got shut out....

One Way To Give The QB Happy Feet
When you're in high school, pranks are pretty much the only thing worth doing, save for maybe masturbation. And when you can combine that with football rivalries, you've got a recipe for happiness. Until the cops come....

Raiders Fans Vs. Gangs: Whoever Wins, We All Lose
We're going to Oakland to visit our sister for Thanksgiving this year, and we had no intention of walking around in Raiders garb. Now we're really not gonna do it....


Dennis Miller is Coming And It Seems There's Nothing We Can Do About It
Hey there kemosabe it's me, Dennis Miller. While it's true that I've had more shows than the original Broadway run of Cats, I really don't see how one more is going to hurt. Hair plugs aren't cheap, OK babe? So pull up a footstool and check out the promo for my latest offering, Sports Unfiltered wi...

Congratulations, South Africa!
• Your Rugby World Cup champions. [With Malice] • What's so wrong with incentive-based contracts? [Ghosts Of Wayne Fontes] • Travis Hafner is gonna hit sometime here pretty soon, you watch. [Lord, Beer Me Strength] • College basketball is just around the corner — look out, here it comes! — so how ab...

Chargers Flee Fire For Dry Heat
If anyone out there is being affected by the fires in Southern California — we're sure we have tons of Malibu readers, of course — we hope you're finding, you know, some cool land. And we hope you're better off than the Chargers, who might have to play this Sunday's game in the Buzzsaw's reject stad...

The Pacers Really, Really Want You To Come To Their Games
It looks like it's gonna be a brutal year for the Indiana Pacers, so they're gonna need every tactic they can to try to sell tickets. We're not sure this online "ad" is gonna be much help....

The Rockies Are Gonna Try This Ticket Thing Again
As some had predicted, the Rockies had all kinds of issues selling their World Series tickets online yesterday. That's a problem, because, you know, they have a game at Coors on Saturday....


We Have To Ask
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. Fantasy sports with Nate Ravitz: What's the deal on Nicholas Hent and A.J. Hammel? Have you been holding out on us? • 2 p.m. SportsNation on ESPN Radio: A show designed just for me? So, all polka music? • 3 p.m. NASCAR with Dav...

Imagine That: Being Able To Watch Your Team On TV
We don't mean to speak ill of the dead, but we don't find it all that surprising that less than a month after the death of owner Bill Wirtz, the Blackhawks are close to finally having their games on television....

This Week In The SSW
For years — OK, a couple of days — Slate writer Robert Weintraub has been tinkering with a concept called The SSW, short for "The Sean Salisbury Wisdom," which tracks the consensus of the football punditocracy to ensure those triumphant declarations from Friday aren't flushed down the memory hole on...

Larry King Is Busting Out All Over
As you might have heard or remembered, here's the shot of Larry King from "Football Night In America" the other night. It's like his brain exploded but remained inside his skull....


Chad Johnson Wants You To Keep The Tape Rolling
No matter what anyone says, it's still hard to adjust to the notion of Keyshawn Johnson wearing a suit and being introduced by Chris Berman. It's like the spectacle of Sitting Bull as part of Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show. Keyshawn was not meant to be tamed....