Week In Deadspin: Don't Drink And Whine

• What happens when you drink three Zimas. • Mean things to do to your baby. • When they said Ben Roethlisberger needed to get it through his thick skull, that's not quite what they meant. • Guess what, folks? Turns out we suck at soccer. • David Hirshey is a much better writer than we are. • We've been afraid to open our ears. Has Berman left the Open yet? • Boy, did we ever live blog some soccer! • We closed to the book — for now — on Jason Grimsley. • A judge tells Chris Henry to "stay away from alcohol and minors." You never like to hear that. • Run, you f—-ing Carl Monday, run! • Odalis Perez, ladies and gentlemen.

We remind every one to get your tickets for July 3 at RFK Stadium, by the way. Enjoy The Mighty MJD all weekend. We're hopping on a cross-country flight to San Francisco now, so when you see us again Monday, we'll be up very very early and quite groggy. Cheers!