ea Page 840 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
English Teen Lauren Hemp Scores From The Right Flank With Her Right Flank<em></em>
If we were to build a pantheon of world soccer’s most lethal weapons, there are a few iconic appendages we can think of that would be locks to make it in: Lionel Messi’s left foot, Cristiano Ronaldo’s right, Abby Wambach’s head. To those ranks we must now add the right hip/stomach/ribs region of Lau...
Old Man Wayne Rooney Produced One Of The Best MLS Highlights You'll Ever See
D.C. United sent their keeper up for a corner kick with a minute left in stoppage time of a tied game. It backfired, spectacularly. Then it didn’t, spectacularly, and it was all thanks to good ol’ Wayne Rooney. ...
Deadspin Up All Night: The Sunshine Of Love
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. My brain is a pile of shit....
Ramon Laureano Threw The Shit Out Of This Baseball
Ramon Laureano has played a total of five games in the majors, all this season, all since the start of August. It’s been a fun start! He’s already had a number of defensive highlights, and his first hit in the bigs was a walk-off game-winner in extras, in his first career game....
Deadspin Up All Night: Come And Get Your Love
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Hang in there....
Fuck These Motherfuckers
Frothing, militaristic football coaching has always relied on the premise that in order to win, players need to be trained and disciplined to the point of breaking down, so that their temperament and habits can be rebuilt in line with the goals and ambitions of the team. It’s a gnarly, brutal way of...
The NCAA's New Rules Were An Unwelcome Surprise For The NBA And USA Basketball, But At Least They're Also Pointless
The NCAA announced a number of changes to existing player eligibility rules this past week. Mostly they are junk that will mean nothing to the kinds of players who are most screwed and exploited by the NCAA’s brand of forced amateurism. Hilariously, though the changes have to do with the NCAA’s hand...
Reports: Circumstances Of Jordan McNair's Death Fit Into Pattern In "Toxic" Maryland Football Program
19-year-old Maryland sophomore Jordan McNair died June 13, two weeks after he was airlifted from an offseason football workout to a local shock trauma center following an on-field collapse. Details of what caused McNair’s collapse and subsequent death were sparse and vague at the time, but a pair of...
Deadspin Up All Night: Poison Me Daddy
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. We live in a society....
New Madrid Keeper Thibaut Courtois Apologizes For Singing Song About Real Madrid Fans Fucking Kangaroos
Before he was the regular goalkeeper at Chelsea, Thibaut Courtois was the number one at Atletico Madrid when they burst onto the La Liga scene to challenge the duopoly of Barcelona and Real Madrid. Now, since his transfer to Real earlier this week, Courtois has been forced to awkwardly answer for hi...
Paul Pogba's Weirdo Penalty Is The First Premier League Goal Of The Season
At the start of a game that probably shouldn’t be played right now (I mean really, the World Cup ended less than a month ago for chrissakes, don’t these guys deserve some rest?), a player that probably shouldn’t be playing (Paul Pogba had a big role in that World Cup right up till the end, you might...
Deadlifting Teen Attacked By Raging Meathead Who Couldn't Tolerate "Ego Lifting"
Nineteen-year-old Charles Lalonde was deadlifting 350 pounds at Buzzfit Gym in Montreal on Aug. 2. Each time his plates hit the mats underneath, they made a dull cla-cla-clang that would not faze a sane person exercising in a gym, as gyms tend be filled with countless such noises and even worse musi...
USC Is Ready To Unveil Its Next Golden Boy Quarterback
Welcome to the Deadspin 25, a college football poll that strives to be more democratic and less useless than every other preseason poll. Leading up to the college football season kickoff, we will give you previews of the 25 teams that you, the readers, voted to be most worthy of writing about. Now, ...
Jay Cutler Is The Breakout TV Character Of 2018
Jay Cutler is good at eating pussy. He wasn’t always, but he is now....
Luke Heimlich Signs With Taiwanese Baseball Team, League Kicks Him Out
On Monday, the defending champion Lamigo Monkeys of the Chinese Professional Baseball League announced that they had signed former Oregon State pitcher Luke Heimlich, who pleaded guilty to molesting his 6-year-old niece in 2012. Heimlich was probably a first-round talent, but he was not drafted by a...
Why Your Team Sucks 2018: Miami Dolphins<em></em>
Some people are fans of the Miami Dolphins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Miami Dolphins. This 2018 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....
Please, God, I Can't Handle A Preseason Deflategate
Try to imagine the worst possible NFL preseason storyline. If you think hard enough, you’ll probably come up with the vague outlines of something involving... the Pittsburgh Steelers... deflated footballs... and... sports radio dingus Howard Eskin? Well guess what, asshole, that’s the shit we’re in ...
The Mariners' First Four Batters Hit For The Cycle Off Justin Verlander In The First Inning
The Seattle Mariners rocked Justin Verlander for a home run, a triple, a double, and a single, all in the first inning of their game against the Astros on Thursday night. The reverse cycle put the Mariners up 3-0 at the end of the first inning, which accounted for exactly half of Verlander’s game. H...
Vlad Guerrero Jr. Is Healthy And Back To Mashing Taters In The Minors<em></em>
Good news for anyone deeply troubled by the mid-season injury of Blue Jays prospect Vladimir Guerrero Jr: He’s back, he got called up to Triple-A at the end of July, and he’s still belting the ball in that same heroic way we’ve enjoyed all year....
Kenny Stills, Malcolm Jenkins, Other NFL Players Continue To Protest Racial Injustice During Anthem
The NFL preseason has never really mattered except in the context of players busting their ankles or getting otherwise torn before the real games even start, but in 2018, it’s also a bellwether for how socially conscious football players are responding to the NFL’s increasingly thoughtless and grasp...