Please, God, I Can't Handle A Preseason Deflategate

Try to imagine the worst possible NFL preseason storyline. If you think hard enough, you’ll probably come up with the vague outlines of something involving... the Pittsburgh Steelers... deflated footballs... and... sports radio dingus Howard Eskin? Well guess what, asshole, that’s the shit we’re in right now:

This can’t happen. We all must agree to refuse to engage with this. Swear your life on it.