el Page 1551 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NFL Fans Prove They're Exactly As Stupid As The NFL Thinks They Are
On Monday, ESPN's SportsNation published a poll about the Vikings' reactivation of Adrian Peterson, the sort of reflexive, wallpaperish question more designed to eat up 20 or 30 seconds of the 11 a.m. SportsCenter than to gauge any actual public sentiment. A few days later it published another, aski...
Falcons-Buccaneers Highlights, As Called By Wrestling Legend Jim Ross
Atlanta beat Tampa Bay 56-14 tonight in a rout one might charitably call a "slobberknocker." As befitting any time a team gets truly embarrassed on the field of play, we've taken great calls from wrestling legend Jim Ross and applied them to tonight's highlights. Take it away, J.R.!...
Devin Hester Breaks NFL Record With 62-Yard Punt Return Touchdown
Devin Hester broke his tie with Deion Sanders atop the NFL's list of all-time return touchdown scorers with a 62-yard punt return tonight against Tampa Bay, the 20th of his career....
Darren Rovell Can't Tell A Two From A Five
Darren Rovell is a petty dickhead. Because people make so many jokes about how he is a money-grubbing, soulless, post-human shill for rich old men and corporations, his sheer petty dickheadedness can go underappreciated, but it's really what defines him, which is why the very best Rovell stories i...
What Should A Commissioner Be?
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
NFL Issues Press Release Through <em>USA Today</em> On How Hard It's Working
The NFL wants you to know it's working hard on the issue of domestic violence. It hasn't actually changed anything since the video of Ray Rice slugging his wife was released. But why should that get in the way of a good press release, also known as an exclusive interview, as Tim Marchman explained y...
You Need More Bruce Lee In Your Life; Start With <em>The Chinese Connection</em>
The most iconic moment in 1972's Bruce Lee vehicle The Chinese Connection, and maybe of his entire career, comes when he walks into a Japanese dojo with a sign that the Japanese, as an insult, left at his teacher's funeral. He says he'll take on anyone in the dojo, and when one guy steps up, Lee s...
Soccer Player Scores, Celebrates, Falls Into Giant Hole In The Ground
Coritiba hosted São Paulo yesterday in Brazil's Série A, and Coritiba beat that ass, defeating São Paulo, 3-1, with Coritiba forward Joel scoring two goals. But that's not why we're here. We're hear to talk about what happened after Joel scored his second goal....
Did LeBron James Get Hair Plugs Or What?
Above is a picture of LeBron James that was taken on Sept. 16. Something looks a little different about him, no? That famously receding hairline of his is suddenly looking a little fuller, which leads us to ask the obvious question: Did LeBron get hair plugs? Let's investigate!...
Jon Stewart Murders NFL On Air; Goodell Asks Mueller To Investigate
Jon Stewart probably thought he was done with the NFL for a little while when he took them on a week ago, but here we are. The Minnesota Vikings suspending, then unsuspending, then suspending Adrian Peterson again caught The Daily Show's attention, and Stewart spent part of Wednesday night's sho...
Braves Fan Catches Foul Ball With Face
See, this is why grown ass men should bring gloves to baseball games. When the foul ball comes your way—like it did to this unfortunate Braves fan at Turner Field—you are going to try and catch it. And if you are going to try and catch it, shouldn't you have the proper tool to do so? If not, you'r...
The NFL's Useful Idiots Want Roger Goodell To Get Tough; They're Wrong
The bad thing about the corruption in NFL reporting is that there's literally no way for a league higher-up to fuck up badly enough to be held to account by the people best positioned to do so. The good thing is that if you want to know what the NFL wants you to think, all you have to do is read w...
Reggie Bush Admits To "Harshly" Disciplining His 1-Year-Old Daughter [Update]
Lions running back Reggie Bush was a guest on the Boomer and Carton radio show yesterday, and he shared some extremely bad thoughts about Adrian Peterson and corporal punishment....
NFL And NFLPA Agree To New PED Policy; Wes Welker And Others Reinstated
The NFL and the player's association have finally agreed on a new performance-enhancing drug testing policy. Under the new guidelines, HGH testing will be immediately implemented, and a few players who were suspended under the old policy will be free to rejoin their teams and play this Sunday....
Ray Rice Appeal Won't Be Heard By Roger Goodell
Late last night, the NFLPA officially filed a grievance on behalf of Ray Rice, appealing the indefinite suspension he received hours after tape of him punching out his fiancée was made public—and months after the NFL had decided a two-game suspension was appropriate. It sounds like that disciplinary...
No One In The NFL Can Do Anything Right
Adrian Peterson became toxic. Radisson and Catholic Charities jumped ship, he got dropped by sponsors Castrol and Mylan, got memory-holed by Wheaties, had his gear taken off the shelves at local Nike and Fan HQ stores, even got axed by the Special Olympics, to which he was appointed an "ambassador" ...