el Page 1653 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Darren Rovell's Proposed NFL Is A Hellscape Of In-Game Shilling
The future of football is a hash of overheard corporate gibberish, and of course it's Darren Rovell who conceived it for us....
Real Madrid Coach Carlo Ancelotti Glimpsed The Edge Of Existence
While this photo was snapped during Real Madrid's 2-0 win over Osasuna to reach the Copa del Rey quarters, the stare of head coach Carlo Ancelotti is that of a man who is elsewhere, possibly someplace Kubrickianly dark and distant. ...
All Javaris Crittenton News Continues To Be Bad News
One-time Washington Wizards lockerroom gun-brandisher Javaris Crittenton, who hasn't played in the NBA since his 2010 arrest on murder charges, was arraigned Wednesday in Atlanta on drug charges....
Little League Coach Sues Own Player For Dumb, Dumb Reason
Alan Beck, a chiropractor/little league coach in Lakeside, Calif., is suing a 14-year-old player for tossing his helmet in celebration after scoring a game-winning run. That helmet struck Beck and tore his Achilles tendon. ...
Clayton Kershaw Just Got All The Money
ESPN Los Angeles' Ramona Shelburne reports that the Dodgers and ace pitcher Clayton Kershaw have agreed to a seven-year, $215 million contract. That's the biggest contract ever for a pitcher, surpassing Justin Verlander's seven-year, $180 million deal with the Tigers. ...
How To Win At Electric Football, Using Pliers And A Cigarette Lighter
Adapted from a piece on Slate's Hang Up and Listen podcast. ...
Kyle Lowry Gave Some New Shoes To That Fan Who Got His Ganked
You might remember the time the most cold-blooded and badass Bulls fan in history mercilessly snatched away two of Kyle Lowry's shoes from an eager Raptors fan named Alan Vale. Now you don't have to feel a tinge of guilt while laughing at that GIF, because Lowry and the Raptors tracked Vale down and...
Australia Needs To Work On Their Outfield Fence Construction Skills
Two different outfielders ran through the fence on back-to-back nights during a series between the Melbourne Aces and the Adelaide Bite this past weekend....
Indiana's Yogi Ferrell Can Levitate
[Indiana point guard Yogi Ferrell floats for a layup against #3 Wisconsin. The Hoosiers gave the Badgers their first loss, 75-72. Scott May, get the champagne ready. One down, three to go. Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty]...
Browns Owner Assures Fans Coaching Search Supposed To Take This Long
Early this morning, Browns fans received an email from owner Jimmy Haslam. It's not an apology for Cleveland not having a head coach yet, but it's not quite an explanation either....
Arkansas Upsets Kentucky With Overtime Tip-Slam Buzzer Beater
After allowing a three-pointer to tie the game in regulation and another to tie it late in overtime, Arkansas bounced back when Michael Qualls tip-slammed the winning basket with 0.2 seconds remaining....
Comcast SportsNet Airs Our Version Of Cubs Mascot With Cock And Balls
Earlier this week we introduced you to terrifying Cubs mascot Clark The Cub and invited you to do horrible things to him. We started you off with Jim Cooke's full-frontal rendition, which is exactly what Comcast SportsNet Mid-Atlantic aired to viewers across the Washington, D.C. area tonight....
Keyshawn Johnson Has, Uh, Changed
So Justin Bieber's house got raided today, no doubt bringing joy to neighbor Keyshawn Johnson who has beef with the obscure underground death metal singer. The interview you see here, though.. that's not Keyshawn Johnson....
Major League Baseball's War On Drugs Is An Immoral Shitshow
Major league ballplayers should never have agreed to drug testing. They should have told any handwringing writer who had anything to say about it to fuck right off, and they should have said the same to any handwringing politician who wanted to do something about it. They should have made clear that...
Jerry Lawler Attempts To Pronounce Michael Hoomanawanui's Name, Fails
Some New England Patriots players attended last night's WWE Raw broadcast from the Dunkin' Donuts Center in Providence last night. Jerry "The King" Lawler reported that among them was a "Michael Hoomawanyueye." He must be the backup kicker....
Get Ready To Endure Bud Selig's Season-Long Victory Lap
Remember when Mariano Rivera turned the 2013 baseball season into a goodbye tour of sorts, and everyone loved it because Mo is one of the most universally admired baseball players in history? Well now you're going to hate it forever, because it set in motion the worst idea ever: a Bud Selig goodbye ...
Video Evidence That Americans Don't Know Anything About Soccer
We're at a strange junction in American soccer fandom. The sport is more popular and visible here than ever, but is still pretty niche. So when this guy decided to ask some college kids fairly basic soccer questions, the results were wildly inconsistent....
Officials Sent The Wrong Sedin Twin To The Penalty Box
It's hard to blame the officials for occasionally losing track of things during last night's punchy 1-0 Kings win over Vancouver, a game that saw 109 total penalty minutes. It's extra-hard to blame them for penalizing Henrik Sedin for an infraction committed by Daniel Sedin—they look alike, and all....
Carmelo Anthony Could Really Use A Day Off
We get it, Carmelo. None of us likes having to think about going to work in the morning, and that 29-16 you slapped on the Suns must have required a lot of energy. ...
Sadly, This Great Picture Of Ronaldo Stealing Messi's Girl Is Fake
Cristiano Ronaldo won his second Ballon d'Or yesterday, awarded to the year's best soccer player. He beat out Lionel Messi, who had won it four years in a row. Ronaldo's win was expected (though neither he nor Messi had each other in their top three), so the highlight of the gala was the above photo...