el Page 1701 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Metta World Peace: "I'd Rather Eat My Hand Than Have My Penis Cut Off"
Key & Peele, the show that brought us the great college-football-players-with-funny-names bit, boasted NBA oddball Metta World Peace as a guest last night. MWP did a short sketch called "Metta World News," in which he plays a news anchor who shares his free-associative thoughts about dreams, eating...
LSU Turned A D-Lineman Into The Nation's Best Lead Blocker
Each week, Football Outsiders recognizes the most outstanding college linemen, defenders and other darkhorses from the previous weekend who are habitually overlooked in the hype for that other award (whatever it's called). These are the Lowsmen....
Bud Selig's Retirement Has Been Breaking News For 16 Months Now
The news that Bud Selig will step down as baseball commissioner after next season is being played up as a big, breaking story. Even a "scoop!" Do we all just have really short memories?...
Good Timing For A Sponsored Ghost-Tweet, Melo
Oh hey, your GM just got fired....
Todd Helton Got A Horse
Oh, so you got a lot of gifts this year, did you Mariano Rivera? That's neat. I see you got a rocking chair made out of bats, and some other tacky crap. Really cool. But, um, did you happen to receive a goddamn horse? Oh, you didn't? Well guess who did get a horse? Todd Helton, that's who!...
Jim Leyland Was A Weeping, Dancing, Adorable Mess Last Night
Well, OK, everything about this is great....
A Town Torn Apart
Night creeps in and they run, cleats on concrete, mop-top hair flowing through black ball caps. They're nervous. They're 14 years old. The hipper boys know the unwritten rule: Run to the front of the bus, strap yourself in and hold on. That is more important than batting averages. That, on a 30-minu...
Dodgers Fan Stabbed To Death After Giants Game
Goddamnit. This shit again....
The Last Laugh: Mailer And Ali By George Plimpton
Norman Mailer went out running with Muhammad Ali one morning, a few days before the fight with George Foreman in Zaire. He asked me to go with him, but I thought of the long ride to Ali’s training camp at N’Sele in the darkness, and thumping along for five miles or so in the wake of the challenger, ...
Blown Calls Don't Get More Blown Than Bucknor Robbing Yelich
The Marlins tonight won their 59th game of the season, over the Phillies, no thanks to this call at first by umpire CB Bucknor. If this weren't a senioritis game between two also-rans, it would definitely go down as one of the biggest botched calls in recent memory. Heck, this was a meaningless game...
Todd Helton Homered In His Final Game At Coors Field
In the 1,140 previous home games the 17-year veteran played for the Rockies, his only Major League club, Todd Helton batted .345 and hit 226 home runs. This shouldn't come as a shock. And yet — the first baseman just turned 40, he'd hit just 14 homers this season and the Rockies don't exactly comma...
No, Women Of San Francisco, Vin Scully Does Not Want A Free Hug
Vin Scully, the figuratively and literally immortal Dodgers announcer, came out Tuesday night as an amiable hug Grinch as he described an encounter he had — or, more precisely, avoided — with a platoon of comely young women who were offering to wrap their arms around his torso and apply gently compr...
Routine Line Drive Avoids Starlin Castro's Glove
Just your garden-variety three-base error for Cubs shortstop Starlin Castro in this afternoon's fourth inning. He would later boot a grounder in the ninth, too, but the Cubs did manage to win. ...
Michelle Beadle's <em>Crossover</em> Is Finished
Crossover, the troubled NBC Sports Network studio show hosted by Michelle Beadle, is "donzo," tweets Beadle. Beadle: out. Shooting elephants in the face: in....
"Bodies Not Created To Be Sexually Involved With Lots Of People," Reports NBA Writer
Over on Kingmovement.com, ESPN NBA reporter Chris Broussard writes:...
Grinning Baboon Gropes Reporter's Breast On Live Television
This is a couple of weeks old, but it's getting around today, so blame the internet for being slow in sharing it. That's Sabrina Rodriguez of Sacramento's Fox 40. She did a live report from the Lodi Grape Festival. There was a baboon. The baboon had a real feel for the moment....
Who Is The Most Pompous Sports Pundit? A Scientific Investigation
Of all the stupid rhetorical plays columnists use—issuing thundering imperatives, positioning their banal opinions as the exact midpoints between varieties of unyielding madness, championing their cronies' worthless businesses as examples of the disciplinary power of markets, etc. etc.—the funniest ...
Pitcher Do Get Lonely (Even Scrubs)
I used to play stickball with my pals out in Brooklyn in the late '90s. One summer morning I was pitching and getting bombed. When I tried to be cute, I didn't come anywhere near the box on the wall. When I tried my best David Wells and just put the ball over the plate, they murdered me....
High School Player Penalized For Spectacular Touchdown Run
That's L.J. Scott of Marion (Ohio) Harding High rumbling for a 50-yard touchdown run last Friday night against Bowsher (Ohio). You'll notice that an official threw a penalty flag. The penalty was against Scott. His run was too good for high school football....
What's The Deal With The America's Cup? An Explainer
Don't be ashamed if the America's Cup, just hours away from completion, is only now popping up on your radar. This has been the longest, strangest, most controversial edition in the event's 162-year history. Here are answers to your most pressing questions so you can watch the final race like a pro....