el Page 1912 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Captain Mike Dixon: Women Arrested For Allegedly "Exposing Their Sexual Organs" On Golf Course
We are equal opportunity mockers here at Deadspin, so it is only fair that when we make fun of dudes whipping out their penises on a golf course, we do the same for women and their sexual organs. This time, however, it only took a phone call, not a shameful letter to expose the offenders....
Steve Urkel Threw Out The First Pitch In Washington, D.C. Yesterday
The problem with playing such a well-known and ridiculous character is that you completely lose any kind of personal identity you had before playing that character. We all know his name is Jaleel White, but who would ever call him that?...
David Nalbandian Disqualified From Queen's Club Final After Kicking Line Judge
The men's singles final of the Queen's Club Championship came to a bizarre end today as Argentine David Nalbandian defaulted the match after injuring a line judge....
Beach Soccer: Come For The Niche Sport, Stay For The Disgusting Knee Injuries
This....I don't know what to say about this. It is, let's call it, unnatural. To my untrained eye it looks like one of two things happened. Either the knee was wrenched in such a way that it dislocated itself from the rest of the leg and that is just straight up femur sticking out or, alternativel...
You Whores: A Complete Guide To Woody Allen's Many Hooker Characters
When you've made over 45 films, it's pretty hard not to repeat yourself. Woody Allen's latest, To Rome With Love, which opens next Friday, has lots of now-familiar features: It's set in a touristy European city, it has a large cast (Alec Baldwin, Jesse Eisenberg, Ellen Page), and it deals with matte...
The Mets Consider A "Quiet" Section For Autistic Kids
A couple days ago, the Mets sent out an email survey. Lots of boring questions meant to "improve your ballpark experience," but one caught the eye:...
Danny Welbeck's Brilliant Back-Heel Volley Brought England From Behind To Beat Sweden 3-2
Sweden's Euro 2012 dream is over thanks to Theo Walcott & Danny Welbeck's work late in today's match....
Dead Letters: Jeff Garlin Defends Himself Against "Struggling" Charges
Subject: Hello from Jeff Garlin...
Arena Football Player Has Best Excuse Ever For Why His Apartment Caught On Fire
"Kevin Marcus Ellison of the Spokane Shock claims he was told by God to torch his apartment with a marijuana blunt." Happens to the best of us....
Manny Ramirez's Dreads Will Cause Drug Use, Abortion, Gayness, Blindness, Fan Tells The A's Triple-A Affiliate In Insane Voicemail
This disgruntled fan of the Sacramento River Cats would like you to know that she is NOT fuddy duddy. Nor is she a crackpot. She just thinks that Manny Ramirez's dreadlocks are the reason that "unwholesomeness" is spreading across the American landscape. I strongly urge you to listen to this voic...
Banana On The Pitch! A Roundup Of Horrible Euro 2012 Fans, With Croatia In The Early Lead
Ah yes, the traditional banana hurled at a black player. Euro 2012 is officially on!...
Russell Westbrook Finds The National Anthem Boring
Russell Westbrook missed his first six shots of last night's NBA Finals Game 2, and the Thunder's slow start left them unable to overcome the Heat despite a thrilling finish. A bellwether for Westbrook's anemic first quarter performance came before the game, when during the national anthem he looke...
Erin Andrews's Contract Is About To Expire, And No One Wants To Hire Her Away From ESPN
Around the time that news of Michelle Beadle's departure leaked, there was (surprise!) a US Weekly report that ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews and Gossip Girl guy Chace Crawford had gone out on a "couple" of dates. There were also a bunch of tweets about how much time Andrews spends with models ...
Right Before Jason Kubel Homers, Diamondbacks Broadcaster Mark Grace Says Jason Kubel Will Homer
No, really. Just before Scott Feldman went into his wind-up to deliver a 2-0 pitch, that's exactly what Grace said. And, lo, that's exactly what Kubel subsequently did. Watch for yourself below....
Thousands Of Irish Soccer Fans Sing Their Team Off After A Crushing Defeat
Ireland got thrashed by Spain today, 4-0, in the second match of the group stage, but the loyal Irish faithful that flew into Gdansk for the match nonetheless sang their team off the pitch with a rousing rendition of "The Fields of Athenry" in the waning moments. It's basically like a couple thous...
Jeff Garlin Struggles Through "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" Before Telling Tigers Fans They Suck
Actor, comedian, and Cubs fan Jeff Garlin took issue with Tigers fans at Wrigley today for being "irritating" or, more accurately, existing. "There are just so many of them too," he told Len Kasper and Bob Brenly in the Cubs broadcast box. He decided to hang out for a while after the rough perform...
KCAL Went Live To The Kings' Stanley Cup Celebration Just In Time For Jonathan Quick To Say "Fuck" Several Times
Jonathan Quick was too fast for TV censors today as the goalie's speech at the L.A. Kings' Stanley Cup celebration in Staples Center featured at least three instances of "fuck."...
Michelle Beadle Tweeted A Photo Of Herself In A Bikini Top While Pointing At A Large Penis On A Monkey Statue
She's on vacation, and she's now free of ESPN, and good for her. This was what the new co-host of NBC's Access Hollywood had to say about the photo you see above, which we're presenting without comment: "As I'm under British rule right now, I laugh at your silly American ways. Cuban cigars for every...
Olympics Field Guide: Chris Hoy, The Incredible Hulk Of Track Cycling
Name: Chris Hoy...
How Not To Be The Biggest Asshole In Media: 4 Lessons I Learned From Meeting Jay Mariotti And Reading His Awful Book
It's been almost two years since Jay Mariotti last wrote a sports column or appeared on ESPN. In that time, sports media's ur-controversialist—a pioneer of the sportswriters-being-dicks-on-television genre—has pleaded no contest to misdemeanor stalking and assault-related charges stemming from a hai...