el Page 1971 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Metta World Peace Is Bored
The former Ron Artest's game is slipping. His numbers are down, and even his trademark defense isn't what it once was. Is it because he's 32 now? It is because he arrived for training camp out of shape after spending the offseason changing his name, doing stand-up, and texting his dong? Nope. World...

The Celtics Won A "Bar Fight," Kevin Garnett Shouts Repeatedly In Crazy Postgame Interview
Your morning roundup for Jan. 27, the day V For Vendetta got all political. Video via The Basketball Jones. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

NC State's Lorenzo Brown Just Hit An 80-Foot Buzzer-Beater
It didn't help his squad (still down 37-23 to eighth-ranked North Carolina) but North Carolina State guard Lorenzo Brown hit a nifty long-range buzzer-beater to draw the Wolfpack a bit closer at intermission. [ESPN]...

Lefty Driesell Is Mad Because Maryland Named Its Court After Gary Williams
Gary Williams retired after last season as the winningest coach in the history of Maryland basketball, a 22-year run that included a national title in 2002. The school has named its court at the Comcast Center after Williams, but not without an objection from Lefty Driesell, who coached the Terps f...

Eli Manning And The NFL's Trouble With Goodness
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Ryan Clark Has Pro Bowl Fever: "I Wasn’t Incredibly Excited Or Anything"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Clark looks forward to winning the Pro Bowl Twitter war....

Wes Welker Is Engaged To A Former Miss Hooters International Girl
"He makes her breakfast in bed. She made him flannel pajamas with cowboy boots on them for Christmas." They're, like, delightfully tacky, yet refined. [Boston Herald]...

Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Has An Additional Year-End Fee Of $90
We can't think what else the disproportionate $89.55 "miscellaneous" charge could be....

Somebody Let Dirk Nowitzki Have The Microphone Again, And The Results Were <em>Äußerst Komisch</em>
Dirk Nowitzki's occasional stints as a TV analyst have led to catchphrases including "Take Dat With You," which became an unofficial rallying cry for last year's Mavericks. Dirk's grunts and ejaculations are funny, for sure—even if sometimes in a "does my breath smell funny" or "does my car sound ...

Lawrence Taylor, On If He Is A Changed Man After Getting Busted With An Underage Prostitute: "No"
In a meandering and bizarre interview aired Wednesday night on Showtime's Inside The NFL, Hall of Famer Lawrence Taylor attempted to respond to questions about his 2010 arrest for soliciting an underage prostitute but mostly left the impression that more trouble's in his future....

Your "Oh No, It's 3:30 A.M. " Liveblog Of Federer-Nadal At The Australian Open
Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer are set to meet in the Australian Open semifinals on Thursday, in a match scheduled to begin at 3:30 a.m. ET. It's the 27th time the pair have met on a tennis court, with the Majorcan matador holding a 17-9 edge all-time, 7-2 in Grand Slams. The meeting is notable, con...

Don't Correct Michael Strahan's Grammar Or He May Suggest You Suck Your Dad's Dick
This is purportedly a series of Twitter direct messages sent from Michael Strahan to one Lindsey Koehler after the exchange in the above gallery....

Some Guy From Queens Apparently Got Eli And Peyton Manning Tattooed On His Hairy Ass
Writes tipster Derek B., "My buddy got this tattoo Eli giving Peyton a noogie today. He's a huge Giants fan."...

It Seems As If The Big Yankees Fan Has Mentally Left The Ball Park
Explains Michael Lapayower, "This is a parody of 'Sh*t Girls say.' All MLB Baseball fan's say Let's go (there favorite team name). I'm sure there's a bunch of things I didn't say. Leave them below in the comments."...

This Week In Great Quotes Linking Soccer Injuries To Sexual Frequency
"The girlfriend of German-Ghanaian footballer Kevin Prince Boateng has offered Italian media an unusual explanation for his recent thigh strain: the 24-year-old AC Milan midfielder loves sex too much. 'He's always [injured and unable to play] because we have sex seven to ten times a week,' model a...

Jay Cutler Is Not A Winner Because He Doesn't Smile At Bears Employees, Writes Crazy Person
I'm not sure where to begin with this column by Rick Telander of the Chicago Sun-Times. The headline says it's about Jay Cutler, but the first half of it has nothing to do with Jay Cutler—it's all about Tom Brady and Eli Manning, since they're in the Super Bowl. By the time Telander gets to telling...

A J.P. Morgan Vice President Has Very Specific Tactical Plans For His Rec League Basketball Team
The latest entry in our overwrought emails series comes from the world of high finance... rec-league basketball. A vice president at J.P. Morgan in London is very enthusiastic about the upcoming season. But he's not gonna stand for his players flailing around on the court, like Mike D'Antoni might. ...

Messi's Being Messi Again, And Dani Alves Has A Nuke-Powered Boot
Barcelona holds a 4-3 aggregate edge in the second half of their return trip to Real Madrid in the Copa del Rey, thanks to the illusionist Lionel Messi setting up Pedro for the initial score and then a blistering strike by Dani Alves off a free kick rebound. The goals set up a 4-1 aggregate edge ...

Today In Straightforward Headlines: "Man Busted For Kicking Kitten Then Signaling Field Goal"
Police charged a South Side (Chicago) man with animal cruelty after officers say they watched him take a running start and kick his kitten 15 feet to 18 feet into the air before raising his arms to signal a successful field goal....

This College Hockey Announcer Pauses, Ostensibly To Choose The Perfect Words, And Then Says "Dick Around With The Puck" (UPDATE)
Wisconsin played University of Minnesota-Duluth in December. The game, broadcast on the Big Ten Network, was a 3-3 tie. Somehow we only got this video now, courtesy of reader Daniel. Hey, beats Joe Micheletti....