el Page 1972 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Clint Dempsey Is Better At Soccer Than You, And Every Other American Ever
From now until the end of the season, we'll be posting a number of clips from the previous weekend's English Premier League games. If there's a goal, save, dive, lip-read profanity, or hocked sputum we should know about, drop us a line at [email protected]. (You might also enjoy our better-late-than...
A Plea To Joe Posnanski: Stop Writing Mealy-Mouthed Nonsense About Joe Paterno
Sports Illustrated's Joe Posnanski is in a tough spot. He's a gifted writer and by all appearances a decent guy. His decency is his defining characteristic; he grew up rooting for doomed Cleveland teams and covered the worthless Kansas City Royals, but he never gave in to the urge to be a hatchet ma...
Oh, God, "Sources" Are Already Bullshitting Reporters About LeBron Leaving Miami
Here's the mind-bending scenario, as outlined by Sam Amico of Fox Sports Ohio: LeBron is unhappy about being persona non grata in Cleveland, he's unhappy fans around the country have been booing him, and he's unhappy about something in particular with his current digs in South Beach:...
Novak Djokovic Gives Appropriately Stupid Answer To Jim Courier's Incredibly Stupid Question
The television networks employ former athletes as analysts because of the uncommon insight they can offer from having been there. Those ex-athletes will, on occasion, uphold their end of the bargain by informing us of something we might not have known or understood without the benefit of their per...
Larry Nance Jr.'s Jumpman Slam Was The Spitting Image Of Michael Jordan
Michael Jordan's the name most people associate with the NBA Slam Dunk Contest, but few remember it was Larry Nance who won the 1984 inaugural edition of the competition. Nance's son (who had plenty of opportunities as a youth to watch Jordan style over his dad's Cavaliers) now plays for Wyoming a...
Which Will Prince Fielder And Miguel Cabrera Reach First: 600 Combined Homers Or 600 Combined Pounds?
The balance of power in the American League shifted toward Detroit today with the Tigers' surprise signing of Prince Fielder. So did the center of mass....
The Mystery Team Wins: Prince Fielder Signs With The Tigers
Just five days ago, GM Dave Dombrowski said Prince Fielder was "probably not a good fit" in Detroit. That was after C/DH Victor Martinez went down for the year, but with 1B/3B/DH Miguel Cabrera still under contract through 2015. That's a logjam of immovable objects, though the Tigers have indicated ...
"I Want Barry Melrose To Shoot On Me," And Other Highlights From Linda Cohn's Stint As A Goaltender
Hey, look! It's hockey on SportsCenter!...
This Is What Happens When You Accuse Steven Tyler Of Butchering The National Anthem
Our post Sunday asking whether Steven Tyler's pre-AFC championship performance of the national anthem was the worst ever drew a flood of reader feedback, both in the form of poll responses and in writing. Here's an update on the poll results, as well as a sampling of your reaction to Tyler's perf...
Ben Roethlisberger Didn't Pay Much To Settle The Lawsuit Against Him
When former Harrah's Lake Tahoe hostess Andrea McNulty settled her sexual assault lawsuit against Ben Roethlisberger, everyone presumed that money changed hands. Both sides were mum, likely bound by a confidentiality agreement, but it seems the NFL is under no such gag order. Pro Football Talk cites...
Jason Richardson Entered A Game In The Middle Of A Play Last Night And Got Away With It
The Magic scored just 56 points and made only 16 field goals in their blowout loss to the Celtics, who were without Rajon Rondo and Ray Allen. But that might not have been the worst of it for Orlando: At one point here in the third quarter, they had just four players on the court during a defensiv...
The White Mamba Made Kris Humphries Look Silly Last Night
The Bulls have been hard-hit by injuries, yet they keep winning. That's what happens when you can plug in Brian Scalabrine off the bench for 23 minutes. Big Scal set the tone for Chicago's fourth straight victory with a move that should make Kris Humphries very happy: it'll be shown on TV for a lo...
The Worst National Anthems Ever
These are the five we included in our poll on Sunday. As of this writing, Roseanne Barr's version is the "worst anthem" clubhouse leader by a substantial margin (she has nearly 50 percent of the vote, with Carl Lewis checking in at 28). Facebook users can vote here....
Joe Paterno Now Has A Halo On State College Mural
The massive, ever-changing mural "Inspiration," located near the student book store in downtown State College, has a new addition today: a halo appearing above the head of grandfatherly Joe Paterno. This is the same mural that was altered by its artist to remove Jerry Sandusky after the sex abuse sc...
Randy Moss Is A Sideline Reporter For The Pro Bowl, But, Unfortunately, It Is Just Some Guy Named Randy Moss
It takes a lot to make one really angry about the Pro Bowl. No one cares about the Pro Bowl—not football fans, not gamblers, not even the players in the game. It's a nice Hawaiian lark before the Super Bowl....
This Is How Close Chip Kelly Was To Leaving Oregon To Coach The Tampa Bay Buccaneers
What you see above are two versions of this morning's front page of the Register-Guard of Eugene, Ore. No, that's not an error, nor is it a do-over on a report that wound up reaching the masses. A source told the newspaper last night that Kelly, 34-6 in three seasons as the University of Oregon's f...
Terrell Suggs Called Skip Bayless A "Douchebag"
In what might be the first honest and accurate analysis ever presented on ESPN First Take, Ravens linebacker Terrell Suggs called out Skip Bayless this morning, telling him to "be an analyst, not a douchebag." Suggs plans to next order Bayless to squeeze blood from a rock....
Kristin Cavallari And Jay Cutler Are Gonna Have A Baby
So what if Jay Cutler got injured and missed six games of the Bears' season, causing the team to miss the playoffs? He's more POTENT than he's ever been!...
Pau Gasol Passes Like Ricky Rubio
There must be something in the water, since all shaggy-haired Spaniards seem to have a preternatural ability to find an open teammate without having to actually see them. A cutting Gasol drew both his man and Andrew Bynum's, and a nifty little over-the-shoulder dump to Bynum was pretty and pretty ...
Eli Manning's Facial Expressions Are America's Greatest Natural Resource
While Eli Manning eventually got the best of the 49ers in last night's NFC Championship game, it wasn't a jaunty romp for the Giants quarterback. This fourth quarter sack by San Francisco's Aldon Smith sent Manning through all five stages of the Kübler-Ross model in the span of a second. [Fox]...