el Page 2010 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mike Ditka Is Angry About The Walter Payton Book He Hasn't Read
I'd bet all the money in my pockets against all the money in yours that Mike Ditka hasn't read Jeff Pearlman's revelatory biography of Walter Payton, which was excerpted in this week's Sports Illustrated and which has the Chicago media scurrying to find any old Bear willing to glower at a book he ha...
Hey, Craig Kimbrel! Don't Worry, The Internet Has Found Your Wallet
According to one reader, Kimbrel's Wednesday night did not get any better after his disastrous meltdown against the Philadelphia Phillies. Let's recap the rookie closer's part in eliminating the Braves from playoff contention:...
This Is One Of Those Soccer-Fan Celebrations Best Seen In Slow Motion
This video comes from yesterday's UEFA Champions League match between Chelsea and Valencia. Specifically, it's in the 87th minute after Valencia's Roberto Soldado scored on a penalty kick after Chelsea's Salomon Kalou went "up with his arm to dink it away from a Valencia head. What idiocy. What ne...
JV Football Coach Suspended For Making Players Lie On Graves To Learn About Persistence And Rebirth
"The sources said [coach Jim] Marsh, also an English teacher at the high school, ordered the team bus to pull over near the cemetery. He then asked the roughly two dozen players to get out and lay on the graves. The players rested there for several minutes while Marsh preached about the importance ...
The Fan Who Threw A Banana At A Black Hockey Player Did Not Know It Would Be Seen As Racist
From the AP: "The lawyer for a man accused of throwing a banana at a black NHL player says his client deeply regrets what he did and had no idea his actions could be seen as racist."...
Why It's OK To Hate Ron Jaworski And Jon Gruden
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
20 Things Angry Buffalo Fans Wrote To A Female Sports Columnist Who Criticized The Bills
Last week, Jennifer Gish—a sportswriter who is a woman—wrote a column for the Albany Times Union that questioned "whether the Bills faithful had a right to demand respect after a 2-0 start." After it was published, some Bills fans wrote to Gish. Here is what they told her (I've taken out the newspap...
All The Baseball Announcers' Big, Joyous Calls Last Night (And Then One By Michael Kay)
Lots of exciting things happened on Wednesday, and for the most part our baseball broadcasters were up to the task. Above, we've compiled their calls of last night's biggest moments. Below, well, listen for yourself. ...
Dan Uggla Celebrated His Home Run Last Night By Dong-Bumping David Ross (Video)
Uggla had just hit a two-run homer off Cole Hamels in the bottom of the third to put the Braves ahead, 3-1. There was a playoff spot riding on this game, of course, so there was reason to be excited. But ... what was that?...
Dan Shaughnessy, At Approximately 10 P.M. Wednesday: "The Red Sox Season Is Not Going To End Tonight"
Here's Dan Shaughnessy, during last night's rain delay, with the Sox leading the Orioles 3-2 and the Yankees leading the Rays 7-0: "I think the Rays are not going to win tonight. I think that's the one thing that we've eliminated tonight is that the Red Sox season is not going to end tonight. They...
Important Question Of The Night, Answered: Dan Johnson Did Not Go Deep To Some Dude's Nuts
This was Dan Johnson's game-tying shot in the ninth against the Yankees, which was briefly the night's most "holy shit" moment and which seemed all the more legendary for having caromed off some guy's balls. Verdict: no nut shot....
Delonte West's Furniture-Store Job Application Is Absolutely Magical
Delonte West wanted to work the stock room at Regency Furniture. He needed this break (which he did in fact get) in order to "stay afloat during the lockout."...
A Belarusian Goalie Participated In A Lionel Messi Trick-Shot Goal Today
It took just six seconds for Alyaksandr Pyotravich Hutar, goalkeeper extraordinaire for FC Bate Borisov, to look at his gloves after Lionel Messi scored the first of his two goals in UEFA Champions League play today. Because it was their fault, the whole perfectly bouncing the ball in front to ser...
So Here's What Really Happened When A Pair Of Philly Football Writers Got Into A Fight Today
The Internet has been buzzing about the brawl that occurred this afternoon between Les Bowen of the Philadelphia Daily News and Jeff McLane of the Philadelphia Inquirer, their respective newspapers' Eagles beat writers. The story first got out because of a tweet sent early this afternoon by Howard E...
Detroit Police Will Investigate The Ford Field "Booty Bus" That Its Officers Have Informally Investigated For A Year
Detroit police are attending and also investigating the Booty Lounge, a mobile strip club that occupies a spot in a parking lot near Ford Field during Lions home games. The venue is a school bus that has been painted over in black and red paint, with the words "BOOTY LOUNGE" in silver letters on its...
The One Where We're Offered A Tape Of Two NFL Players Humping A Teenage Puerto Rican Prostitute (AUDIO VERSION)
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. This space is now reserved for those scuzz-money entrepreneurs who've unsuccessfully tried to sell us prurient information. This is also where we'll run notable emails we've received from some of our readers. All emails are [sic]'d. Enjoy....
A Very Quick Correction To A Very Dumb Rick Reilly Column
Rick Reilly writes: "Jersey Rule No. 3: You may not wear a jersey if somebody else in your group is already wearing one. This is also known as The Fedora Rule. No two guys in any group can be wearing a fedora. The second man's fedora must be trashed, crushed or sold. You never saw Sinatra and Dean M...
The Fan Who Threw A Banana At A Black Hockey Player Has Been Arrested
Police in London, Ontario, held a press conference this afternoon to announce the arrest of 26-year-old London resident Christopher Moorhouse for allegedly throwing a banana at Wayne Simmonds of the Philadelphia Flyers. The incident happened when Simmonds, one of the NHL's few black players, was at...
More Overwrought Fantasy Emails: Joe's Going To Carve You Up, Drink Your Blood, Rape Your Sister, And Beat Your Mother
As we've seen with our "Life Lessons" segment, some people take sports way too seriously. But none as serious as fantasy football players. Each week, we'll feature some of the whiniest, bitchiest, nastiest, most sociopathic emails from this group of very special people so you can point and laugh at...
The $30 Product That Will Change How You Watch The NFL
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....