el Page 2011 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Giants Rookie Conor Gillaspie Had A Very Rookie Inside-The-Park Homer Last Night (Video)
There are two things that make this—Conor Gillaspie's first major league home run—a very rookie home run: 1. The stumble and trip as he is waved home ( "Honestly, I was pretty embarrassed," he said after the game. "I didn't want to get up"); and 2. The fact that once he had made it home and set al...

After An 18-Second, 80-Yard Game-Winning Drive, Football Team Has To Answer To Guy In Banana Suit
In Minnesota small-college football circles, Augsburg College's stunning upset of St. John's University is being called "The Miracle in Collegeville." That's an apt name considering the game was played in Collegeville and anytime you engineer an 80-yard game-winning drive that starts with 18 secon...

Cleveland’s Sunday Tailgate Scene Also Included A Couple Who Ditched Their 9-Year-Old Foster Child
Anna and Earnest Fugate are fans of the type of Cleveland Browns fans who apparently like to fight while "partying" in the muni-lot. You know, that place where ""society devolves to its lowest point each week."...

So, Michelle Beadle Apparently Sucked On Linda Cohn's Leg Today
Two girls, one Nike product-placement victory. Per @SarahSpain, "Thank god @ESPN_Michelle had that rattlesnake training. Her Texas upbringing saved @lindacohn 's life." Aw. (H/T Obsessed With Sports)...

Watch A Norwegian Soccer Player Score A Goal From Midfield With His Head
If this ends up being the only time that you watch highlights from an Odd Grenland/Tromso match of Norwegian soccer, making it Jone Samuelsen's 57+ meter head-ball goal is a good call. In fact, the Odd Grenland midfielder's feat might be nominated for some Guinness Book of World Records inclusion....

Matt Kemp Poses Shirtless, Sometimes Spends Too Much On Clothes, Wants A Woman He Can Shop With
Matt Kemp, the Dodgers outfielder who counts Rihanna among his ex-girlfriends, is having an MVP-caliber season. He recently gave an interview to Flaunt magazine in which he revealed a bit about his tastes in both clothes and women....

Black Hockey Player Pays The Bigotry Forward, Calls Sean Avery A "Fucking Faggot"
Just over a week ago, Wayne Simmonds—one of the few black players in the NHL—had a banana thrown at him during an exhibition game in London. Yesterday in Philadelphia, after a slight altercation during a preseason game against the Rangers at Wells Fargo Center, Simmonds allegedly called Sean Avery...

The NFL's Evolution, As Measured By Dan Dierdorfisms
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

We Remind You Once Again That Dan Shaughnessy Is Putrid
Your letters:...

Cleveland's Sunday Tailgate Scene Includes Stand-Up Trailer Blowjob And Boxer-Brief Beatdowns
This video tableau of good ol' midwestern football revelry comes from the infamous Municipal Parking Lot tailgate scene (The Muni Lot), where, as one reader says, "society devolves to its lowest point each week." The top video, courtesy of the eagle-eyed videographers /amateur pornographers at "Ma...

FC Barcelona Asks Nike For Jerseys That Won't Weigh Them Down With Their Own Sweat
Technically speaking, the Nike Dri-Fit fabric is designed to "to wick sweat away and help keep you dry and comfortable."...

Watch Jamie Dukes Be Totally Inappropriate With His Female NFL Network Co-Host (Video)
He bent over and asked her to take a snap from him. And it was incredibly awkward. Dukes recovered nicely and continued to make his point, but a short time later he ... asked again. And it was even more awkward. Idiot. [Midwest Sports Fans]...

Rihanna's Bikini Top Offends Northern Ireland Farmer In Quaintest Dispute Ever
Well, this is adorable, and certainly newsworthy: Rihanna, who has probably worn a bikini top for ninety percent of her adult life, recently had "a conversation" with a Northern Ireland farmer named Alan Graham to discuss her wardrobe. As a result of the conversation, Rihanna will probably not wea...

Some Guy In Taiwan Dropped His Daughter To Try To Catch A Baseball (Video)
He also failed to catch the ball. But he did get quite a glare from from what looks like his understandably angry wife. Who else would love to have heard him attempt to explain his stupidity and complete lack of chivalry?...

Atlanta Braves Have Had A Rough September, According To Newspaper's Middle School Line Graph
This is a real graph that accompanied a real article in the real Atlanta Journal-Constitution today. The Braves lost to the Phillies 4-2 last night, and are now just a game ahead of the Cardinals for the NL wild card—all thanks to this carefully-plotted "September Swoon." It's really exciting that t...

The Cowboys Didn't Lose Last Night, But It Wasn't For Lack Of Trying
If you were watching the ESPN postgame last night you probably heard a lot about how Tony Romo and the Cowboys "dug deep." This is a nice way of crediting the winners of an ugly, sloppily played game, which I've reduced here to a few of its ugliest, most sloppily played moments. ...

Ozzie Guillen Says The White Sox Should Fire Him, Because He "Had A Great Team And They Played Like Shit"
This was a part of a droll press conference, in which Ozzie also said that the Marlins should be interested in him, because, "fuck it, they should be, I'm bad."...

The Irish Rugby Team Wins One For The Displaced
Chris Benz and Dave Shireley will be filing dispatches from the Rugby World Cup in New Zealand, in the odd moments that they are sober. For a rugby glossary and position guide, click here....

Did Buffalo Outsmart Bill Belichick?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Some Random Fan Joined The Cleveland Browns In Their On-Field Celebration Yesterday (Video)
Years ago, it was common to see lots of fans storm the field to celebrate a team's victory. The obvious security concerns and litigation threats of today, however, make such displays pretty much nonexistent. And television networks have long avoided showing footage of fans running onto playing field...