el Page 2019 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dan Snyder Is Suing <em>Washington City Paper</em> Over A Story He Has Never Read, Because Dan Snyder Is A Prick
Here's proof that Dan Snyder, the Redskins' churlish little shitbag vulgarian of an owner, runs a lawsuit the way he runs a football team. From a Q&A with The New York Times Magazine:...

Michele Tafoya Seems To Be Staring At Whatever Al Michaels Finds So Funny
Your morning roundup for Sept. 9, the day we didn't realize we were on the air. Photo courtesy Getty Images, via Homer Bush. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

When The DEA Raided A Texas High-School Volleyball Coach's House, They Found Steroids And Blow
Timothy Todd Porter teaches physics and astronomy and coaches volleyball at Clear Springs High School in Texas. If what Johnny Law says is true, he was also part of a drug-trafficking ring that peddled feel-goods and get-strongers to students....

The Reports Of NFL Special-Teams Excitement's Demise Were Probably Premature
As you can see from this video compiled by new guy Conor Hastings, Darren Sproles of the New Orleans Saints returned a punt 72 yards for a touchdown tonight. Shortly thereafter, Green Bay Packers rookie Randall Cobb did the same with a 108-yard kickoff return. To which Sproles said oh, ok, I'll ge...

A Man In "Crotchless Chaps-Style Spandex With His Genitals And Buttocks Showing" Played With Fire
There are bizarre police-beat stories, and there are really bizarre police-beat stories. This one from Seattle falls into the latter category. To wit:...

Carl Everett Was Arrested For Allegedly Assaulting A Member Of His Family
And it's not like he has a history of threatening to beat anyone up or doing anything like this before. [MyFoxDFW]...

Andy Roddick Totally Flipped Out Over The Court Still Being Wet At The U.S. Open (Video)
And ESPN's cameras captured much of his tirade, which was directed at tournament referee (and USTA pro circuit director) Brian Earley during Roddick's fourth-round match this afternoon against David Ferrer. The match eventually was moved to the much smaller, 584-seat Court 13, where Roddick won in a...

Oscar De La Hoya Wore A Full-Body Fishnet, Because, C'mon, Who Doesn't After A Few Drinks?
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Golden Boy is getting clean and coming clean....

George W. Bush Will Narrate A Two-Minute Intro To An NFL Pregame Show On 9/11, And Not The Ones On CBS, NBC, Or ESPN
Via Deitsch: "Been told former President George W. Bush will narrate a 2-minute opening for Fox NFL Sunday on Sept. 11 at 12PM."...

Here Is Bill Walton Dressed As A Water Bottle, Because We Love You
There is a show called Shark Tank that exists. It has something to do with entrepreneurs and their business ideas and inventions, and Mark Cuban is on it sometimes, and he knows people in basketball. Therefore, here is Bill Walton dressed as a water bottle. [Twitter]...

Roger Goodell Is Shifting Liability Onto The Help
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Iman "Justin Bieber" Shumpert Is Here To Give You Nightmares
Knicks draft pick Iman Shumpert is playing in the Vegas league, and getting salty he's missing New York Fashion Week. He's also filming locker room videos of unspeakable horror. Shumpert and Bieber now have another thing in common, besides both being booed by Knicks fans.[Posting and Toasting]...

The Flying Squirrel, Like The Cleveland Indians' Playoff Hopes, Is Getting Away
Your morning roundup for Sept. 8, the day we learned we could buy Marty McFly's shoes. Photo via Big League Stew. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Dumbass Who Blamed Bryan Stow For Getting Beaten Into A Coma Wants To Watch Michael Vick Blow His Knees Out
Writes dumbass John Steigerwald about Michael Vick's $100 million contract, "Here's hoping he blows out his knee on his next snap."...

Kobe Bryant Was Briefly On Twitter Tonight And Like That, He Was Gone
It was a seminal moment, on Sept. 7, 2011, when Kobe Bryant Tweeted "Can you hear me now?!?!" He quickly broke the 10K follower mark. But then, within hours, those followers were greeted by a message declaring "The profile you are trying to view has been suspended" when they checked back to see wha...

PNC Park's Acoustics Are So Good That You Can Hear A Home Run Hit The Empty Bleachers
In tonight's epic showdown between the Houston Astros and Pittsburgh Pirates, Carlos Lee hit a two-run dinger in the top of the first. What tipster Trey A. pointed out was that "I've never heard a HR hit the outfield bleachers before. But yet again, I've never watched a Pirates game."...

Found: Ole Miss Hat Girl Is Hanna Nutt, Coach's Daughter
Ryan, one of our readers, had been captivated by the Girl In The Hat while watching BYU-Ole Miss the other day—so much so that he asked us to assemble the I-Team to learn her identity. And last night, we went to work....

Maryland's Football Helmets Are Awesome, And They Didn't Rip Off A Bunch Of Roller Derby Girls
Nobody—OK, maybe Craggs—is more skeptical and mistrustful of the University of Maryland/Under Armour marketing-and-football partnership than I am. I'm on the record predicting shame and ruin for the athletic department in its pursuit of buzz and glory....

Milan Lucic To Cop Questioning Him About A Fight With His Girlfriend: "Do You Know Who I Am?"
Bruins forward Milan Lucic was not charged after allegedly having an altercation with his girlfriend the other night in which he was "highly intoxicated and hostile," according to this report in the Boston Herald. In fact, the girlfriend told police she was "adamant about not being harmed." Police ...

Phillies OF John Mayberry, Jr. Has Requested That His Agents Set Him Up With The Sexy Mermaid From <i>Pirates Of The Caribbean</i>
John Mayberry, Jr. is a man who knows what he wants. One cannot, after all, become the Phillies' best pinch-hitter without knowing what he wants. But Mayberry is still missing something. Evidently, that something is the Sexy Mermaid from Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides....