el Page 2020 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Almost Six Years Later, One MMA Fighter Is Still Campaigning For The UFC's Fastest Knockout
Way back in January 2006 (Did they have cell phones back then?), Duane "Bang" Ludwig scored a flash knockout of glass-jawed Jonathan Goulet at UFC Fight Night 3. Ludwig did it with one punch. He did it in four seconds, according to the official clock. That'd make it the fastest knockout in UFC his...

Roger Goodell Enforces The Laws That Roger Goodell Came Up With Just Now
Jim Tressel followed in the footsteps of his protégé Terrelle Pryor by jumping to the NFL, and he's going to suffer silently on the sidelines along with him. Yesterday the Colts announced Tressel will sit out the first six weeks, a penalty that was self-imposed because the Commissioner's office was ...

A Reminder: Rick Reilly Promised To Eat Things Stuck In Your Carpet If Peyton Manning Didn't Start Game 1
Rick Reilly, Aug. 30: "Peyton Manning will keep his streak alive. If you think he's going to miss a start because of a neck problem, you've been chugging paint thinner. This guy hasn't missed a start since 1994 at Tennessee. Do you know how long ago it was when Manning didn't start for the Colts? Go...

Watch Leo Messi Dribble Past Half The Nigerian Team To Set Up This Goal
Argentina beat Nigeria 3-1 today in a friendly in Bangladesh. As usual, Lionel Messi was the engine for Los Albicelestes. He fed Gonzalo Higuain with a beautiful one-touch chip for the first goal. But the real peach was the second goal, created by Messi's blistering midfield run (0:45 in the video...

Listen As Mardy Fish Calls Jo-Wilfried Tsonga A "Dumbass" During Their U.S. Open Match
Fish doesn't speak French, you see. Though it was Tsonga who eventually ousted Fish, the highest-seeded American, in five sets yesterday....

Tiger's Former Mistress, Rachel Uchitel, Is "Almost Happy" Her Fiance Died On 9/11
"I'm almost happy it ended the way it did because I've learned so many lessons from him. It would have been tragic if we got into fights and then divorced." [New York Post, via Gawker]...

ESPN's Fantasy Guru Thinks "Rapelisberger" Is Worth Having As Your QB
A reader named John helpfully screen-grabbed this tweet from ESPN fantasy expert Eric Karabell, which John said had appeared on the ESPN fantasy football page for a bit last night, at least until Karabell saw fit to delete it. Granted, Karabell was just answering a question about going with Vick or ...

Dwyane Wade, Chris Paul, And Carmelo Anthony Can't Dance
The trio was in China recently, where a few of the locals challenged them to a dance-off. According to this video, anyway, the best the three of them could do was to attempt a few lame ball-handling tricks, after which Chris Paul took the initiative by trying a couple of basic moves followed by a us...

Watch A-Rod's Spectacularly Stiff <i>Entourage</i> Cameo
This may surprise some of you: Entourage, that show about rich men and their cell phone conversations, is still on the air. It's the final season, and so the producers are really going all out: there's a pro athlete cameo (or five or ten) in just about every episode. Last night's show, "Second to ...

Rob Ryan On Rex's Foot Fetish: "Naw, I Mean Hell, He Is A Little Freaky I Guess"
You may have read about the possible foot-fetish-filmin' proclivities of New York Jets head coach Rex Ryan. He likes feet, Deadspin told you last December, and then Wes Welker joked about it while Ryan wouldn't talk about it....

Rafael Nadal's Leg Cramps Made For An Awkward Press Conference Yesterday
This video will make anyone who's ever suffered from a muscle cramp cringe. Rafael Nadal was settling in for a post-match press conference after a straight-set win over David Nalbandian yesterday when he was suddenly hit with the pain of a stiffened calf muscle....

Catholics, Conservatives Call For Brian Kelly's Job; Not Because He Lost, But Because He Cursed
Here is what we presume was Brian Kelly's internal monologue during Notre Dame's loss on Saturday:...

Jim Tressel Embarrasses Roger Goodell By Self-Imposing Goodell's Stupid Idea Of Justice
Has there ever been a string of punishments/non-punishments more baffling than Roger Goodell's recent run? Lacking a clear directive but wielding the personal-conduct policy like Zeus's discriminate lightning bolts, no one plays unless the Commish decides he's "ready," and the Commish doesn't have t...

Ron Artest Has Never Looked More Graceful
Your morning roundup for Sept. 5, the day Arizona (against all odds) got a little bit worse. Photo of Artest at rehearsal via @LakerNation. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Some Phillies Fans Went To Miami And Interfered With The Marlins Right Fielder
This whole thing happened in the sixth inning of today's Phillies/Marlins game. Hunter Pence of the Phillies hit one to the right-field wall. It may or may not have hit that yellow stripe. We'll never know....

Weather Forces Evacuation Of Notre Dame Stadium
When the Notre Dame Fighting Irish retreated to the locker room at halftime, they were down 16-0 to Lou Holtz's kid's team. While Coach Brian Kelly was discussing their "performance" in the first half against South Florida, the stadium seating areas were evacuated on account of foul weather....

Usain Bolt Held Back, But Still Made Really Fast People Look Really Slow Again Today
Usain Bolt, that freakishly fast Jamaican guy, ran the fourth fastest 200-meter race in human history at the World Athletic Championships in Daegu, South Korea today. He clocked 19.40 seconds. Only two people have ever run faster. One is named Michael Johnson. The other is named Usain Bolt....

Here's The Memorable Part Of Auburn's Otherwise Forgettable Fourth Quarter Against Utah State Today
The first game in Auburn's Post-Cam Newton Era (also known as the Barrett Trotter Era, according to the game announcers) did not go as expected—unless you expected Auburn to require a last-minute comeback to avoid a 10-point loss to unranked Utah State. Here's the onside kick and the ensuing drive...

Your College Football Afternoon Games Open Thread
Skip Holtz will try to beat the team Daddy Lou used to coach! How awesome is that?! So awesome that it's a network game! Oh, pretty much every Notre Dame game is on NBC, you say? Of course it is. Because that's how it was foretold....

Fox Sports Apologizes To "The Entire USC Community" For Segment That Singled Out USC's Asian Students
Yesterday, Fox Sports aired a segment that featured Bob Oschack giving USC students a "good, old-fashioned All-American welcome" to Colorado and Utah, the newest members of the Pac-1012. The gimmick: Oshack only interviewed Asian USC students—because in the world of misguided network television humo...