el Page 2028 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dropping In On The Demented Utopia Of The Gathering Of The Juggalos
I have infinite shortcomings as a Juggalette, but here are my two main ones: I can't say "titties" with a straight face, even when my face is covered with clown makeup. And I do not have any desire ever to show my own titties to crowds of ravenous young men I do not know. Many women at the 12th annu...

Watch Batting Stance Guy's Creepily Accurate Impressions Of All Your Least Favorite MLB Reporters
There's Terrorized Tim Kurkjian, precious Pedro Gomez, particular Peter Gammons, and Jon fucking Heyman....

From Deadspin Writer To Undercover Juggalette: A Video Transformation
So I went to the 12th annual Gathering of The Juggalos this weekend. I was dressed like this. You can read all about the titties and the drugs in a few hours. [UPDATE: Read all about the titties and the drugs.]...

Chelsea Embraces The Prawn Sandwich Brigade
This isn't just an advertisement for the most succulent amuse-bouche you've ever seen. It's also Chelsea being more self-aware than we though possible....

The "Big" Penis Of Tom Brady's Toddler Son Prompted State Police To Visit Barstool Sports Editor's Home (UPDATE)
Late last week, Barstool Sports used the headline "Check Out The Howitzer On Brady's Kid" above a paparazzi photo of a naked Benjamin Brady, age one and a half, frolicking on the beach:...

Don't Worry, Carlos Zambrano: Ozzie Guillen And White Sammy Sosa Have Your Back
CSN Chicago reports that Zambrano—whom the Cubs suspended for 30 days, due to a big ol' meltdown—received text messages of support from Guillen and Sosa....

Logan Morrison Was Demoted Because Wes Helms Is A Super-Secret Double-Agent Mole: A Theory
Marlins outfielder/tweeter Logan Morrison was demoted to AAA New Orleans on Saturday night. It was a weird demotion, because Morrison ranks second in OPS on the team (ahead of first baseman Gaby Sanchez, and any outfielders who might replace him) and because the Marlins are 56-64, burnt toast....

Monday Morning NASCAR Is The Best NASCAR
This is how we like our Sprint Cup: on a road course, and at a time we're supposed to be working....

Yes, This IndyCar Driver Needed Both Middle Fingers For His Salute To The Race Officials Live On ABC (Update With Video)
Some background to driver Will Power's double-barreled message from today's Indy 225 at the New Hampshire Motor Speedway, courtesy of tipsters Dave and sassojr:...

Lady In Steph Curry Jersey And Leggings At Outside Lands Gives Us Our First Floopster Of The Season
At first I thought this was a man, which would have been a hoopster to end all hoopsters. Dangly earrings, big scarf, a ponytail, leggings, and a cool player's jersey....

Future First Man Marcus Bachmann Eating A Corn Dog? Future First Man Marcus Bachmann Eating A Corn Dog.
Michele Bachmann won the Ames, Iowa straw poll yesterday, which, according to Nate Silver, means she's the favorite to win the Iowa caucuses next year. And, if you follow this syllogism to its logical extreme, she's gonna win the Republican nomination and then the presidency. Or something....

I-Team: Help Us Solve The Mystery Of Mitch Albom's Ears
Tipster Chad D. (or Chadd?) writes in, [sic]s and all:...

Wisely, Ned Colletti Is Already Plotting His Exit Strategy
"Q: You're big on hockey. Any desire to be an NHL GM?...

Presenting A Chris Mullin Career Retrospective With Violins And Real Talk
Your morning roundup for Aug. 13, a day that can strengthen you personally, professionally, physically and spiritually. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Funny People (And Chris Farley)
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. This week we're chipping in with our favorite long-form writing about comedians....

Tim Tebow Engineered The Strangest Play Of The Young NFL Season
Tebow's under a microscope, no doubt, so his plays are going to be scrutinized more than just about anyone else's. But last night's double-reverse-scramble-pass was so balletically chaotic, we'd have to break this down no matter who ran it. It just so happened to be Tebow who managed to be brillia...

Yep, An "Olympics Ambassador" Is Now A "Riot Suspect"
Well, this one kind of wrote itself for the Daily Star in London:...

Dodgers Spokesman: Our Usher Was Only Kidding When He Swiped A Foul Ball From A Kid
Remember last night's video of a Dodger Stadium usher swiping a foul ball from a giddy kid at a Dodgers/Phillies game? Yeah, the Dodgers said the usher only swiped a foul ball from a giddy kid temporarily. He was funning with him, you see. The official statement:...

The Philadelphia Union's Cryptic "New Player Announcement" Means Freddy Adu Is MLS-Bound
According to a press release sent out by the Philadelphia Union around 3:30 p.m., the team "will introduce their newest team member" at noon. Their CEO, manager and "new team member" will all be available for comment....
