el Page 2063 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dan Snyder Explains Why He's Being A Prick
Dan Snyder explains himself and his newly refiled lawsuit this morning over at Fred Hiatt's bullshit emporium. The piece contains all the spoon-banging you've come to expect from Snyder — "I am not thin-skinned" is probably the most ridiculous assertion on that op-ed page since whatever George Will ...

Sideline Reporter Looks Accustomed To Getting Pummeled In The Head With Soccer Balls
We're just as impressed with the aim of the player on the field as we are with this fellow's easy return to reporting....

Luke Scott Is Still A Gun-Humping Birther Survivalist Lunatic, Chickenshit ESPN Story Won't Say
Luke Scott is a gun-humping birther survivalist lunatic who keeps a pistol in his sofa cushion and throws plantain chips at a black teammate when he acts "like a savage." Sounds like an asshole, right? But things aren't so simple, ESPN's Amy K. Nelson tells us in her recent profile of Scott, and she...

DeAngelo Hall Says Jason Kidd's Son Still Has An Enormous Head
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the outspoken Hall talks football and other more important matters....

Chris Paul's Shake-Up Of Andrew Bynum Is Pretty Close To A Point Guard's Masterpiece
In a big-to-little defensive switch in basketball, the advantage usually goes to the taller forward who can easily back down a misplaced guard for an easy basket in the paint. It's a simple, dependable play off of a switched screen or miscommunication on the defenders' side....

Sportswriters Struggle With Turns Of Phrase For Franklin Gutierrez's Spastic Pooping
At least Franklin Gutierrez now knows what caused all of his stomach problems for nearly a full year. Gutierrez visited the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota earlier this week, where he was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome as the cause of his stomach issues that first popped up last summer....

Lakers Player Arrested For Allegedly Assaulting Pregnant IHOP Waitress (Pregnancy Update)
But don't worry, it's not a Laker that you've heard of, or matters....

Jim Tressel Is The Perfect Coach
I used to think Jim Tressel was scum. Covering up his players' transgressions, hiding them from his school and NCAA. But I've been reading over the allegations, just doing some sittin', and some thinkin', and I'm man enough to admit I was wrong. Jim Tressel is the ideal coach for a big-time program ...

Marriage License: Chris Bosh Is Officially Spoken For. Chris Bosh: No I'm Not.
Your morning roundup for April 24, a day Gabrielle Giffords continues struggling to recover, but recovering she is....

This Lady's Likes Include Jeff Gordon And Profanity; Her Dislikes Are Jimmie Johnson, Talladega, Bras
Last Sunday at Talladega featured the closest race in NASCAR history in the form of a photo finish. Exciting, yes sir. But as this fine American girl also proves, Jimmie Johnson's two-thousandths-of-a-second victory was infuriating for some....

Man Dry Humps Cleveland Indians Mascot
The summary of dude's video explains, "He's not wearing any pants. It just seemed right." Dude. Epic move, brah....

Here's The Scene That Awaited The Orlando Magic's Jason Richardson After Last Night's Pimp-Slap Ejection
Your morning roundup for April 23, the day we hear about how a Tennessee woman's heart stopped beating for five minutes as a Lady Gaga tribute....

Stop Your Judgmental Infield Chatter While I Handle The Pill, Softball Pitcher Pleads
Here's another overwrought email sent to a company softball team wherein one rookie pitcher had himself a tough outing. For some reason this young fireballer also ended up in a dugout scrap with one of his teammates who started heckling about his performance. Then, of course, he felt compelled to wr...

The Brief Local Nightmare Of A City Whose Mayor Is Kevin Johnson Is Over For Now
Emma, your esteemed video editor, remarked earlier today, as the Deadspin team was on its way back from the Glenn Ligon exhibition at the Whitney, that we just had seen a strange relic....

So It's Come To This: Mets Fans Wearing Paper Bags
Things are coming to some kind of head in Flushing. Wednesday, fans begin to show up with brown paper bags over their heads, probably the most evocative visual for this team since that Post cover of sad Mr. Met. Even the media started tuning the losses out....

Rafael Nadal 0, His Underwear 1
Reporting that Rafael Nadal won a match on a clay surface is a lot like reporting that the Mets lost a game, so we needed another angle on his 6-2, 6-2 win over Gael Monfils in the Barcelona Open quarterfinals today. Luckily, the cameras on hand for the match captured that angle for us. In the inc...

Juan Agudelo Scored A Special Goal Against DC United Last Night
It's weird to see an American striker do this. We're so used to our forwards scoring as a function of being in the right place at the right time. Agudelo scored last night despite bad service and good marking. He created this goal out of nothing. No more Jozy Altidore comparisons, please....

This Is Not Andrew Ference Giving Habs Fans The Finger
Your morning roundup for April 22, the day America went to its room and listened to Smiths records....

Here's Jon Gruden Saying Weird Shit To Future NFL QBs
One reason to bother watching SportsCenter the past few weeks — aside from watching legal baseball highlights, I guess — is the totally bizarre, always somehow informative "QB Camp" series the network has Jon Gruden hosting for a second year. While, like Gruden, we "don't believe half the [expleti...

This Russell Westbrook Play Is Everything That's Great About The Thunder
One fundamental tenet of basketball is that the best way to break a press is to not let the ball hit the floor. Another fundamental tenet is that, when you have a point guard like Russell Westbrook, you get the hell out of the way....