el Page 2073 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Horny 92-Year-Old Woman Couldn't Get A Kiss, So She Got Her Gun
When 92-year-old Helen Staudinger's boytoy neighbor Dwight Bettner refused to kiss her on Monday, she turned her .380 semi-automatic pistol on 'im. She missed, but it's the thought that counts....
Many Special People Excitedly Posed For Pictures With Jim Tressel Last Week
Sure, Jim Tressel won't be coaching Ohio State University's first couple of football games in the fall, what with breaking the rules and all. That lil mess didn't stop droves of fans from turning out for an Ohio State Alumni luncheon for the chance to stand in front of the same camera as the coach ...
We Are All Dave McKenna XLVIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit behaves like foot fungus doused with tough actin' Tinactin....
What The Furious Ninth Round Of Gatti-Ward 1 Tells Us About Life
If you like boxing or have even a passing interest in what it means to be human, please go read novelist Sergio De La Pava's wonderful essay "A Day's Sail" in the latest Triple Canopy magazine. De La Pava looks at two of the best rounds in boxing history — the one mentioned in the title of this po...
<em>Around The Horn</em> Takes On The March Madness Selection Process
This is a clip from an Around The Horn episode about a week ago, in which the four journalists du jour took on the March Madness selection process — a topic that seemed to be on everybody's mind. "How much difference between the innies and the outies?" wondered show host Tony Reali. "What do you t...
Update: Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Is Now $118.01
Via Broward County Water and Wastewater Services....
Elizabeth Taylor, As Remembered By Fake Robert Evans
In light of the recent passing of Hollywood screen icon Liz Taylor, we asked legendary Hollywood producer and Jamboroo contributor Robert Evans to join us to share some of his fondest memories of the actress. Take it away, Mr. Evans....
If There's A Lockout, Charlie Batch Could Lose His Super Bowl Rings
Batch declared bankruptcy in December, and his creditors now have the option of seizing the property he used as collateral to secure his debt. That includes "a 2006 Kawasaki personal watercraft, and sports memorabilia and jewelry." Among that, his two Super Bowl rings, as well as his collection of a...
Cats vs. Dogs: A Major Upset!
We're down to the last few days of the first round of play - but exhaustion has yet to set in for these fierce warriors. Today is a day of sentimental favorites, but at the end of the game, a mammal must fall. Grab your toothbrush, because this one's going to leave a bad taste in your mouth. [Jezebe...
Pat Jordan Recalls Bo Belinsky: A Modern-Day Athlete From A Bygone Era
No character in sports was more authentic than Robert "Bo" Belinsky, a left-handed pitcher in the '60s. Bo personified "cool," real cool that was intrinsic to his nature, not his public persona. As a rookie, Bo pitched the first no-hitter in California major league history for the Angels. It made h...
Watch Manny Ramirez Almost Kill Roy Oswalt
Roy Oswalt was struck "in the upper body" with a line drive hit off of Manny Ramirez's bat today in Port Charlotte, Fla. Crossing Broad captured the video, and while at first glance it appears to hit him in the back of the head, initial reports state that he was struck above the right shoulder and...
The UConn Fans Ruined Geno Auriemma's Birthday
Hours before his 57th birthday, and just after his Huskies beat Purdue by 24 points in Storrs to advance to the Sweet 16, Geno Auriemma sat down in a press conference and found something to complain about. Only about 5,700 people — just about half the capacity of Gampel Pavilion — had come out to ...
Goalie Stops Puck With Telekinesis
After Jonathan Quick appeared to get beat Monday night, the puck decided to take an unscheduled detour out of the goalmouth. For all we know, this is some involved viral marketing for the X-Men reboot. But it's probably more to do with Los Angeles's notoriously crappy ice surface....
Here's JaVale McGee's Pretty Nuts Mid-Air Steal-Block
So what if JaVale McGee authored the second-worst triple-double ever last week, while on the wrong side of a blowout? He still had 12 blocks!...
Luis Castillo Skipped His First Two Days Of Phillies Camp
The Mets granted Luis Castillo his merciful release on Friday, and he then told Newsday's Jim Baumbach that he would "wait, go home and hope to catch on with another team."...
Marquette's Campus Rappers Have Composed A Fight Song Worthy Of An 11 Seed
Well, since the Big East bellyflopped in the tourney's first weekend, we have two teams—UConn and, uh, Marquette—left reppin' the supposedly superior conference that started with 11 teams on Thursday....
LeBron James Dance Party!
LeBron was on Ellen! So that's fun. Also fun: LeBron dancing with an aerobics class, set to a very appropriate music choice for a Miami guy....
Cats vs. Dogs: Oh, How The Mighty Have Fallen
We saw a lot of emotion on the courts yesterday; hearts and guts and sheer sweat. Today promises to be more of the same. Put on your shinguards, because this one's a kicker. [Jezebel]...
Tiger Woods Is Screwing Again, Everybody Run
Tiger Woods is at Bay Hill this week and one restless journalist there will ask about the reports that Tiger is now boning an IMG exec's stepdaughter. Maybe two. But if that happens, playful Tiger on Jimmy Fallon reverts back to scowling Tiger and then every writer there will have to work much hard...
Who Wants To See What The Chinese Dunk Contest Looks Like?
You know you were curious....