el Page 2086 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Rare Vomit-Inclusive Quadruple-Double
Niagara's Anthony Nelson puked his guts out in the first minute of play, then promptly went out and put up the first triple-double in school history. Oh, and this posterization. [Niagara Gazette]...
Michael Vick Gets Key To Dallas, Shit From Owner Of His Former Pit Bull
Michael Vick had a long week in Dallas. At first, he was maybe hosting a party with a SWAT team and its own trailer that eventually got called off and that he had "no intention of participating" in anyway. Luckily, Vick's personal mentor Tony Dungy canceled the party....
The Cavaliers Make Baby Jesus Cry
So it's come to this. Twenty-five straight games, without even once stumbling into a higher score than their opponent's. That's statistically improbable, even with a depth chart like this....
Human Knees Do Not Bend That Way
Your morning roundup for Feb. 8, the day we were shanked to death by our own cock....
Cardiff’s Craig Bellamy Scores A Brilliant Goal
See, there is good football being played in the lower divisions. It's not only the Premier League that produces the best games and the best players....
A Comprehensive Guide To That NFL Commercial With All The TV Characters
One of the best ads on last night's broadcast was for the NFL itself, in which they digitally inserted jerseys and logos into TV clips of yore. But the cuts were too quick to fully appreciate. Here's an annotated guide to the fake people inside your television, and their allegiances....
Marquis Daniels Welcomes You To The 18-Game Football Season
Yesterday, while many of you were watching Bill O'Reilly interview Frank Caliendo impersonating Sam Elliott, a basketball game took place during which a scary thing happened to reserve Celtics guard Marquis Daniels. He's expected out for at least a month with a bruised spinal cord. Yikes. [Boston Gl...
Your Super Bowl XLV Comment Party Is Happening Now
Oh, you're just gonna watch the game on the TEEVEE but enjoy socializing with random strangers on the internet instead of real, live humans? Then come on in, ladies and turds. The Second Annual Comment party begins now. Be nice to our guests from Jezebel, please....
One Of Antonio Cromartie's Baby Mamas Is Writing A Tell-All To "Help Women"
After noting that New York Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie is known for "siring nine kids with eight women in six states," the New York Post gets right to the crux of ex-fiancée Rhonda Patterson's tell-all book's jacket cover....
This Is What Happens When You Get Caught Stealing Someone's Shovel During A Blizzard (Video)
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. ...
Let's Put Talk Of Dallas Weather...On Ice
Maybe you've heard that it is cold in Dallas, Tex. this week. Frigid, some say. Icy. Admittedly, dangerously icy. If not, here's a recap. It includes weather predictions for the 2014 Super Bowl, which, for all we know, could include Thundersnow....
Soaring Moments In <em>SI</em> Super Bowl-ese
Sports Illustrated put all their Super Bowl coverage ever in one place. This is good for you, if you are Ernie Accorsi, or something. Otherwise? You get 44 years' worth of melodrama, dated references and similes....
Dan Gilbert Is The Whore Of Quicken
Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert, the Comic Sans-styled defender of everything holy and Midwestern, runs a business that habitually craps on its employees and customers alike. A business other than the Cavaliers!...
DeSean Jackson: Renowned Punt Returner, Defender Of Bullied Children
DeSean Jackson's punt return once made a grown man strip and a Katie Bakes enter "the penultimate phase of depression"; after yesterday's appearance on The View with new pal "whoopi goldbird," he inspired a bullied child to cry in gratitude....
Leave Ben Roethlisberger Alone
This photo is of Big Ben at a restaurant, posing for a picture with a fan. Maybe he had a drink or two with dinner. If ESPN's previous mini-circus was any judge, expect them to go with wall-to-wall coverage on this one....
Gary Neal Hits (Sort-Of) Game-Winning Circus Shot
Neal's miracle heave at the end of the first quarter would prove to be the difference in an 89-88 Spurs win. Of course, by that logic, any two points were the difference. (Antonio McDyess's tip-in was the actual game-winner.)...
Jim Gray Doesn't Like Being Asked About His Sources
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
NFL Helmet Safety Researchers Could Learn A Lesson From Egyptian Protesters
Protesters in Tahrir Square face truncheons, Molotov cocktails and flying rocks. NFL players face James Harrison, aiming for the head. Both need serious protection....
Who Wants To Watch A TV Reporter Fall Down The Stairs?
This video comes from reader Brian, who says he has been holding onto it for "over ten years." That makes this reporter the first person injured in the 59-year history of Langley Speedway. Of all finguhs to hurt......
OMG Puppies! And Other Highlights From Signing Day
A recruit hoisted a puppy, a mother forged her son's signature on a letter of intent, CBS made Rich Rodriguez interview his successor at Michigan, and many hats were donned. Signing day! First comes the built-up signature, next comes crushing disappointment....