el Page 2161 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Last Night's Winner: Dance! Dance! DANCE!
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like ballroom dance enthusiasts who suddenly found a lot of weirdos hanging around them last night. Why are all these pasty dorks cheering the Vienna Waltz?...

Kentucky's Future Lawyers Blow Off Class For Game, Get Called Out By Angry Dean
Northern Kentucky Law School held a mandatory "professionalism" lecture Thursday night, at the same time as UK's opening round game. The result: maybe not a lesson in professionalism, but certainly one in irony....

Phil Mushnick Does Not Want To Hear About Anyone's Testicles
"[Bill Raftery's] continued hollering of a crude crotch term after a big shot long ago should have ended, if not voluntarily, then on orders." Relatedly, in the same column, Mushnick professes to miss Billy Packer, who's a dick. [NYP]...

Today In Sports Endurance Achievements: Three-Minute Hockey Fight
Saturday, St. Louis Blues bruiser Cam Janssen and New Jersey Devil's welterweight Pierre-Luc "I Wasn't In Duran Duran" Letourneau-Leblond lethrew down during the first period. Three minutes later, they had become Übermensch. [Fan House; tunes by TV on the Radio]...

Subliminal Telestrator Messages Get A Lot Less Subliminal
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

ESPN On Five-Minute Tiger Interview: "More Important For Us To Have No Restrictions"
ESPN decided that a short, tape-delayed interview with Tiger Woods near his mansion columns was better than no interview - and Lightning Round Tom Rinaldi was the first and obvious choice to conduct the interview, the WWL said....

Golf Channel Actually Asks Tiger Woods Tougher Softball Questions
Golf Channel's Kelly Tilghman actually asks better questions and introduces us to Tiger's magic pussy protector Buddhist bracelet he now wears to keep rooted. She also reveals Ari Fleischer is done working for Team Tiger. Big day for "Kell." [GolfChannelTranscript]...

All Hail Our New Ivy League Overlords
Kentucky may be the favorites. Northern Iowa may have pulled the biggest upset. St. Mary's may be the least likely to be here. But for the next four days, this tournament belongs to Cornell....

Villanova Got Poopshowered
In those heady hours before Ali Farokhmanesh, we only had Omar Samhan for our Middle Eastern American Mid-Major superhero. Thankfully, Samhan's YouTube fame endures thanks to his username: "poopshower." [SBNation]...

Stories That Don't Suck: Self Esteem, Ballad Of Big Star, Fantasy Baseball, Michael Lewis's First First Thing
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

The One Where People Clear The Air About Some Of Tiger Woods' Female Acquaintances
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Catholics vs. Catholics: Villanova-St. Mary's Open Thread
Just one early game today, but one that could tear the Holy See apart. Did the Pope intercede in the 'Cats near debacle against Robert Morris, or is he secretly a West Coast basketball fan who's grown bored with Gonzaga?...

Mike Bellotti Suddenly Needs To Not Work For Oregon Anymore
Mike Bellotti worked at Oregon for over 20 years, both as a football coach and athletic director, but just remembered that he left his keys in an ESPN studio and won't be coming back. Gee, I wonder why that is?...

Cattle Rustlers Wearing Flashy Coats: Georgia Tech-Oklahoma State Open Thread
Oklahoma State has a 1-2 punch in James Anderson and Obi Muonelo, but the team's undersized. Georgia Tech's Derrick Favors and Gani Lawal are said to be "bruisers." They should get that checked out by a doctor....

Fighter Jet Flyover Threatens, Thrills Thousands
Two Navy fighter pilots were grounded after buzzing a Georgia Tech game at the decidedly unsafe altitude of just a few hundred feet....

Sick Of Ashley Judd And/Or The John Wall Dance Yet? A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....

Kornheiser-Armstrong Feud Forces Clear Channel To Ban Cycling Talk
America is a house divided thanks to Tony Kornheiser and Lance Armstrong's "car vs. bike" stand off, but thankfully radio executives have issued strict orders for everyone on their air to shut the hell up about it....

Your Ex-Girlfriend's Favorite Gum Vs. Nocturnal Avians: Cornell-Temple Open Thread (BRACKET BUSTER WATCH)
Temple coach Fran "I Wasn't In The Beautician and the Beast" Dunphy and Cornell coach Steve "I'm Not Phil" Donahue are longtime friends. This either ends in a dramatic tie or a bloodbath....

Rebels Try To Poach Panthers: Nothern Iowa-UNLV Open Thread (UPDATE)
Senior big man Jordan Egsleder leads his band of other people who look like they're from Iowa against Lon Kruger's Runnin' Rebels. Illinois and Atlanta Hawks fans, let your vitriol fly....

Highlanders Take On Arachnid Power: St. Mary's-Richmond Open Thread
St. Mary's sneaked into the Big Dance by upsetting Gonzaga in the WCC tournament, what do they have planned for an encore?...