el Page 2162 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Milwaukee Brewers: Ascot Justice
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Milwaukee Brewers....

"Here Are 10 Things To Expect After You Turn 30"
This Black Table article was published, shit, six years ago and I'm encouraged by the fact that it is still as painful now as it was on March 18, 2004. Getting older is not fun. Make it stop....

Tiger's Porn Star Lady To Reveal Filthy Text Messages Today
We apologize again for giving this awful woman a platform. Joslyn James AKA Veronica Siwik-Daniels will begin her own March Madness and unleash sextingjoslynjames.com at 11 a.m. to prove to the world that Tiger used to bone her. [NYPOST]...

Bills Entice Potential Ticket Buyers With "Punt From Own End Zone" Shining Moment
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Jim Lampley-Metallica Mashup The Logical Continuation Of Meme
DJ Raw B has mashed up Jim Lampley's stirring Pacquiao-Clottey commentary with Metallica's "Master of Puppets" for us all to enjoy. Thanks DJ Raw B. [ZShare]...

Barry Bonds Fan Club Getting A Little Jealous Of McGwire Acceptance
As baseball's prodigal son returns to the St. Louis bench, some in San Francisco are wondering why their own disgraced steroid user wouldn't be welcomed back with open arms....

Last Night's Winner: Michael David Barrett
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Michael David Barrett, Erin Andrews's peeper, who was sentenced yesterday to two-and-a-half years in prison and life as another triple-named American villain....

This Is Now The Most Happening Place To Be In All Of Tampa Bay
Because it's St. Pete, and it's always 70 degrees and gorgeous, no one wants to go to a Rays game on a Friday evening. That's all changing, as the team plans to turn the Trop into a "baseball nightclub."...

America's Feeblest Legal Minds Weigh In On Erin Andrews
Somewhat curiously, ESPN.com has put the sentencing of Erin Andrews's stalker on the front page. Even more curiously, they've left commenting open. Seriously, go now. It's worse than YouTube in there. [ESPN.com]...

The Best In NCAA Conspiracy Theories
The NCAA Selection Committee is a shadowy backroom cabal, operating with minimal transparency and zero oversight. But do they really rig the brackets? We look at five of the most plausible theories, and rank them on their merits....

Clark Kellogg Renamed The Midwest Bracket The "Bang Bus" Bracket For Some Reason
Clark Kellogg's mind must be in the gutter. Or he has some nefarious plans for Evan Turner and the San Diego State cheer squad. H/t Hernando for the video....

Calipari On Buccigross: "He's A Jagoff"
Kentucky coach John Calipari talked with SportsCenter today. Wrapping up, he had the chance to say something to ESPN's John Buccigross. Calipari proceeds to call him a "jagoff" yet again. H/t reader Tyler for the video....

Onions, Both Peeled And Grabbed, Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the guy from the NCAA selection committee who peeled his metaphorical onions, and this happy Buccaneer from East Tennessee State, who merely gripped his....

The Best Defense Is...Any Defense
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The One Where ESPN.Com Engages In Unnecessary Censorship Of This Little Girl
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Jackie Gleason Shows Us The Proper Way To Bomb On TV: With Self-Deprecation And Booze
In 1961, Jackie Gleason hosted a game show on CBS titled You're In The Picture. It was a precursor to The Jay Leno Show and The Marriage Ref in that it was universally reviled....

Minnesota HS Hockey Player Wipes Out On TV, Guarantees Himself Brief Viral Infamy
Here's poor Zach Van Orsdel, an Alexandria defenseman playing in the Minnesota state championship, introducing himself to the television audience by doing the sort of thing that makes us all glad we're no longer in high school. [Puck Daddy]...

Chad Ochocinco Unleashes Twitter Fury Upon Unsuspecting ESPN Personalities
As a person familiar with both ridiculous Twitter sissy fights and ESPN nuking, I find #85's 140-character anger towards certain WWL personalities who "showed negativity" amusing. [OGOchoCinco]...

Vicodin, A Golf Cart, And Withheld Evidence: New Details From Tiger's Thanksgving Night
New investigation records were released today regarding Tiger Woods's Escalade crash, and there's more than enough fodder in there for conspiracy theorists....

Introducing Poopgirl: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....