el Page 2164 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cranky Old Sportscaster Unloads On Congress, Curling
Beano Cook is an American treasure, and nearly 66% of you agreed with that assessment about two years ago. From his rapier wit to his extensive knowledge of the game, Cook deserves our respect. But, let's have some fun instead....

The Olbermann-Simmons Feud Is Getting Feisty
Wherever you come down in the Keith Olbermann-Bill Simmons blood feud, you can surely agree that the former just drew a helluva line in the sand by calling Simmons "the most uncontrollable, unmanageable talent in the history of ESPN."...

The Ron Artest Hair Odyssey Gets Cancelled
All that fuss over Artest's purple-and-gold, multilingual hairstyle? For naught. After letting Vince Carter go off for 25, Artest shaved the whole damn thing off. [Twitter]...

A Real, Honest-To-Goodness NBA Rivalry? Awesome.
Matt Barnes was in Kobe's face all game long (and occasionally, quite literally). Lamar Odom called Barnes "a monkey." It makes for a possible finals matchup not involving Kobe and LeBron that, dare I say it, would be anticipated....

Twenty-Year-Old PGA Loophole Finally Closed
The PGA and Ping finally use a little common sense, banning those square-grooved wedges that got Phil Mickelson called a cheater. This is what passes for controversy in golf now. Please come back Tiger! [AP]...

Quarterbacks No Longer Welcome In Ladies' Room At "Millyvegas" Bar
According to a tipster, this sign now hangs on the door of the women's restroom at The Brick, one of the Milledgeville, Ga., bars visited by Ben Roethlisberger on Thursday night. I think it pretty much speaks for itself....

The Boys "Have At It," And NASCAR's Hypocrisy Gets Put To The Test
They'd suspend a pitcher if he intentionally beaned a batter. They'd suspend a football or hockey player if he intentionally tried to injure an opponent. So NASCAR better suspend Carl Edwards for intentionally sending a rival flying at 190 MPH....

Pistol-Whipping An Assistant Coach Does Not Help Citadel QB's Playing Time
Quarterback Miguel Starks shared time in The Citadel's backfield in 2009, but those struggles are in the past ever since he was arrested for robbing and kidnapping one of the team's assistant coaches. No one is questioning his leadership now!...

Visiting Reporters Deemed Unworthy Of Watching The Yankees Play
The Steinbrenners require the best of everything, including a luxurious Spring Training field named for Papa George. You wouldn't know it if you're the visiting team's beat reporter, whose press pass ought to be marked "obstructed view."...

Taiwanese CGI Geniuses Present: Ole Miss-Admiral Ackbar
The Nancy Grace Rule's reign of terror is over. The new cool way to measure a story's scope is Taiwanese CGI. Their reenactments of Tiger-Gate and the Late Night Wars were amazing but Admiral Ackbar-Ole Miss may be their masterpiece....

The Angriest Column No One Will Ever Read
You'll never see so much righteous indignation over a) an uncalled travel in basketball; b) Atlantic Sun basketball; and c) women's college basketball. Might not want to start printing those protest t-shirts just yet. [Florida Times-Union]...

When The Knicks Play The Nets, <em>Someone</em>'s Gonna Set An NBA Record
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

At Least the Bears Signed Some People
An MRI confirms that Cubs 28 year-old right-hander Angel Guzman has a career threatening ligament tear in his right shoulder....

It Was Quite A Night In Cleveland
It was a night of Snuggies, seizures and six (wins in a row for the Cavs) at the Quicken Loans Arena....

The Ravens Have a Wide Receiver? Yes. The Ravens Have a Wide Receiver.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

<em>ESPN The Magazine</em> Flosses Rick Reilly®'s Column From Its Pages
We're told that Rick Reilly's next ESPN The Magazine column will be his last for the magazine, which means he will now annoy the world on only two ESPN media platforms instead of three. Progress!...

Spilly Says To Get Off The Couch: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....

Tailpipe: "I Bet You'd Like A Three-Breasted Woman"
We recently discovered the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....

Olbermann Joins The Sports Fella Pile-On
On Simmons: "I am again left to marvel how somebody can rise to a fairly prominent media position with no discernible insight or talent, save for an apparent ability to mix up a vast bowl of word salad very quickly."...

Slipping And Tripping In Warren Sapp's Hometown
You're familiar with Dark Side of the Locker Room. Consider this the THX Edition of Dark Side. Our storyteller is Padgett Powell, author of Edisto, The Interrogative Mood, and the following dispatch from Plymouth, Fla., which was spiked by ESPN....