el Page 2219 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Charles Rogers Blew Ay-Day. AY-DAY
Click to viewIf you ever wondered how former Lions #2 overall pick Charles Rogers turned out to be such a bust, Jemele Hill of ESPN got the answer from him: Construda. Construda AY-DAY....
Lou Holtz's Last Foray Into Politics Didn't Go So Well
"I will have nothing to do with politics," Lou Holtz declared in 1983, assuring his new bosses in Minnesota that his days of endorsing race-baiting gasbags for Senate were over. Now he wants to run for Congress. Flip-flop!...
Prince Fielder's March Of Vengeance
Nine innings were not enough for the Brewers and Dodgers to settle their differences—even if the 13-run differential says otherwise—so Prince Fielder led his Crew through the bowels of Dodger Stadium on a hunt for Guillermo Mota's head....
Fart-Gate Scandal Blown Wide Open
After what seems like decades of secrecy and lies, America demands to know: Who cut the cheese? Now we may finally have our answer. The conspiracy goes far deeper than any of us could have imagined....and it really stinks....
Jay Glazer Is Ready To Make Mortensen's 2009 NFL Season Miserable
Tough start of the week for Mort. First, ESPN takes away his Twitter freedom. And now he's back at training camp and dealing with this asshole again. Which week do you think Glazer TP's the Mort Mobile? [PFT]...
LA Headline Writers Need Sensitivity Training
"Injuries Haven't Killed Angels," trumpets the headline in the LA Daily News. Except for, you know, that injury that killed an Angels player four months ago. [LADN]...
Hardline Twitter Memo Makes ESPN Employees Hilariously Paranoid
ESPN NBA writer Ric Bucher set the World Wide Leader's legion of writers, editors, and on-air personalities with raging Twitter habits into a collective shit-tizzy with one of his updates. Now, a revolution is afoot! Not really....
Sandra Bullock Will Ride Michael Oher To Oscar Glory
For those in the dark, this is the movie version of Michael Lewis' book about Baltimore's No. 1 draft pick Michael Oher, a hulking black kid who was taken into the loving embrace of a lily white family in rural Mississippi after they found him bleeding and hungry on the side of the road. The fact th...
It Might Be Time For ESPN To Update Its Sidebar
The schedule is out, so it's time to gear up for the NBA season ... in 2006, apparently. Hey ESPN, would you like us to hold Seattle down while you twist its nipple and take its lunch money? [ESPN]...
For A Guy With A Neck Tattoo, Delonte West Is Not A Very Good Freestyler
Cavs' guard Delonte West has spent the summer putting together his own YouTube diary of madness. Today we find him at the KFC drive-thru, waiting on a bucket of The Colonel's crack, spouting off a nonsensical rhyme about his predicament....
Terrible Ratings Won't Stop Onslaught Of Sports Reality Shows
There have been a lot of sports-themed reality shows on TV lately—Superstars, Fourth and Long, The T.O. Show, etc.—and they all have two things in common. They are terrible and people hate them. So let's greenlight some more!...
"Assault In The Ring" Reminds You To Hate Boxing Forever
You may have already seen the HBO documentary "Assault In The Ring," but if you haven't yet, put it on your to-do list. Just in case you've forgotten that boxing is filled, top to bottom, with unbelievable scumbags....
Second Gatti Autopsy Doesn't Rule Out Homicide, According To "Celebrity Pathologist"
Arturo Gatti's body was exhumed Friday for a second autopsy, this time in Gatti's native Montreal and this time with the assistance of Michael Baden, a real-life forensic pathologist who also plays one on TV. Examiners found "some surprises," unsurprisingly....
Weak-Hitting Player Rips Manager For Not Letting Him Hit Weakly
"I don't appreciate the disrespect, because I've been playing hurt for a guy who won't respect you. I don't deserve it...It's time for me to move on." -Melvin Mora, (.256, 3 HR, 27 RBI) on being benched. Again. [Baltimore Sun]...
NHL's Horrible CBA Comes Back To Bite Them In The Ass
After years of the NHL screwing fans, a few owners are now trying to screw the league. No one weeps for Gary Bettman, because turnabout is foul play....
Calling It Now: First To Worst
Beanie Wells finally ends his mini-holdout, promptly sprains his ankle in first practice. It's going to be one of those seasons for the Cardinals, by which I mean "like all the other seasons besides last year." [Arizona Republic]...
Michael Vick Suggests 'Michael Vick Day,' Gets His Wish
Organizers are planning a family-oriented "celebration" of Michael Vick in his hometown. What could possibly go wrong?...
Michael Vick Is the Most Hated Person in Sports
Here is a list, based on an internet poll of people 13 and older, of the most disliked people in sports. It is mostly rapists, drug-users, dog-killers, and John McEnroe....
Racist Redskins Owner Did Not Listen To His Wife, And Now He Is In Hell
Tomorrow's Washington Post magazine unearths some letters from the Redskins archives to convey "the innocence of this long ago era" when a racist named George Preston Marshall married an actress (pictured) who convinced him to move his football team south....
The Real Reason Michael Phelps Won't Meet With the Pope
It's not because he got high (as we all know, the Pope smokes dope). The reason famous fish-person Michael Phelps won't meet with the Nazi Pope is buried deep in his family history, as revealed on his Wikipedia page....