el Page 2221 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jay Mariotti, Making Children Cry
Jay the Joker one-ups Woody Paige with a human prop. The baby's tears represent America, except America would have tried to poop on him. [H/T reader Dan]...
Jim Johnson Passes Away At 68
I shouldn't be the one doing this post. A.J.'s the Eagles fan. I'm a Giants fan. But I've got absolutely no problems being the one to eulogize one of the most respected figures in the 21st century NFL....
Dr. James Andrews Giveth and Taketh Away
Orthopedic Hall of Famer Dr. James Andrews has saved the careers of countless athletes with his special brand of ligament justice, but occasionally he makes an oops and cripples healthy people for the rest of their lives. No one's perfect....
Hey, Kirk Herbstreit's House Is On Fire!
Herbie let his local fire department burn down his home in exchange for a tax break, but the IRS wants the money anyway. He could sell his house to pay the bill if it hadn't just burned down! [Columbus Dispatch]...
The First Sideline Reporter: "All Of This Was Just Nonsense"
The sideline reporter was young and attractive and more or less an open appeal to the lower enthusiasms of sports fans. The year was 1974. Jim Lampley was here to tell America about mascots and homecoming queens....
A Comprehensive Ranking Of The Products Inside A Good Humor Truck
One of the good things about being a parent is that, during the summer, you're fully justified in eating all the goddamn ice cream you want....
Ladies: If You Don't Want Men Looking At You Through A Peephole, Stop Watching Sports
I've read this column by US News & World Report writer Bonnie Erbe three times to see if I'm possibly taking the quote out of context or missing a broader issue or accidentally inhaled WD-40 but, sadly, I have not....
Minaya Sort Of Apologizes
Omar Minaya called another press conference last night, and in this one he managed to not entirely shoot off his own foot, which probably had something to do with his boss, COO Jeff Wilpon, standing ominously at his side....
Minaya Calls Out <em>Daily News</em> Reporter; Mets' Season Descends Further Into Farce
Earlier today, Omar Minaya addressed the firing of brawlin' Tony Bernazard, the Mets' VP for player development, and used the occasion to humiliate New York Daily News reporter Adam Rubin, whom Minaya accused of angling for a front-office job....
Peter King On King's Peter
"Trip to the urologist. Regular checkup. Two docs. First doc examines me, and I should say he examines me thoroughly. He leaves and the other doc comes in. ... He puts on the rubber glove. Whoa! Whoa!" [SI.com]...
And Here Are The Three Men Who (Allegedly) Beat The 22-Year-Old To Death In A Parking Lot During The Phillies Game
On Saturday there was a silly dust-up at McFadden's (a bar at CBP), which spilled out onto the parking lot and one young man was beaten to death for God knows what. These are the men who (allegedly) killed him....
Christine Brennan Continues Her Erin Andrews Smarm Offensive
USA Today's Christine Brennan went on Howard Kurtz's unctuous TV show yesterday and explained away her underminey Erin Andrews comments, emphasizing that she has "always been concerned about Erin" and somehow outstripping all her male colleagues in patrician superciliousness....
Michael Vick Is Back In Business (Sorta)
NFL.com just posted this cryptic statement: "The NFL has reinstated Michael Vick on a conditional basis. The former Falcons QB will be considered for full reinstatement and to play in regular-season games by Week 6." Um. Okay?...
Swimming Records Made To Never Be Broken
Exotic fancypants swimsuits bestow ridiculous Aquaman-like qualities on anyone who wears one, which is why swimming officials have officially banned the suits—right after every record in the books is shattered beyond repair....
Hank Aaron's Convoluted Logic Could Put Pete Rose In The Hall Of Fame
Reports from baseball's Hall of Fame weekend say that Bud Selig is considering the possible reinstatement of Pete Rose, thanks in part to lobbying from current Hall members—i.e., arrogant and confused old men....
I Guess This Is A Silver Lining
Erin Andrews is now the #1 ranked TV reporter on the Mediaite Power Grid. Jake Tapper has his work cut out for him if he wishes to unseat her. [Mediaite]...
T.O. Explains To Trent Edwards Exactly When He'll Make His Life Miserable
T.O. drives the Buffalonians bananas on his first day at mini-camp. You get the impression that this is the one place in the NFL universe where his spectacle isn't only welcome, but desperately needed. (PHOTO: H/T William V.) [Buffalo News]...
And Now For A Minute Of Actual Sports
Roy Halladay is not a member of the Phillies ... yet. The Toronto Blue Jays' demands of executive bathroom privileges proved too steep for the Philadelphia bigwigs....
Yankees And Patriots Are Selling Fake Jerseys
Okay, not the sports teams, but the more accurately described group — our soldiers — are being accused of buying fake memorabilia in Korea and reselling them....