el Page 2278 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
49ers Bid A High-Pitched, Frenetic Adieu To Joe Starkey
Joe Starkey is retiring as play-by-play voice of the 49ers. Don't recognize the name? He's the broadcaster who always sounds like his testicles are wired to a car battery, as this legendary clip demonstrates....
![J.C. Romero Rises Up For [Dumb] Puerto Ricans Everywhere](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f17vy5xtnrhjpg.jpg)
J.C. Romero Rises Up For [Dumb] Puerto Ricans Everywhere
This proves that J.C. Romero's hyper-excitement on the mound is not something manufactured just for his relief appearances....
Medic! More Bandages! Melo Goes Down
Carmelo Anthony may never play the violin again; suffers possible fractured shooting hand in Nuggets win over Pacers. [NBCSports]...
Hey, $%&*@!? Hands Off The Sweater Vest, Mack
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Switch Hitter: Burrell Agrees In Principle With Rays
Pat Burrell rips out Daulerio's heart, stomps on it, gives it a mohawk. [ESPN]...
Slamming Through, Don't F With Silverback
Pittsburgh Steelers' linebacking lunatic wins the AP Defensive Player of the Year Award. [PSAMP]...
Michael Phelps' Sacred Mission: To Sell Japanese Cars In China
Michael Phelps Inc.™® is returning to Beijing, this time to provide every man, woman and child with a brand new car. Expect gas here to be $9 per gallon by next year....
The Boston Celtics Dynasty Has Collapsed
Everybody panic! The once dominant Celtic steam engine has gone completely off the rails and it's unclear if they'll be able to save their season after losing to... oh my... the New York Knicks?...
North Carolina Collapses In A Heap Of Its Own Intensity
So remember all that talk about the unstoppable Tar Heel juggernaut threatening to burn down college basketball arenas and take mascot heads as trophies on their way to a perfect basketball season. Yeah, never mind....
And A New Philly Slogan Is Born
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Bring Me The Third Nipple Of Drew Magary And The New York Football Giants
According to the receipt from last night at Ace Bar, there were 42 Irish car bombs consumed in five hours. The Colts won that game, right?...
Philadelphia at Minnesota: A Playoff Game Of No Importance
No one here really cares about the outcome of this game, but feel free to comment your little hearts out during the 4:00 NFC Wild Card Game....
Harrell Sets NCAA TD Record, But Ole Miss Leads Cotton Bowl
If you bet the under in the Cotton Bowl, our condolences. Ole Miss just hit a field goal to take a 24-21 lead into halftime....
Auburn Fans Love A Challenge
• This Is Just Wrong. This is disagreeable on so many levels, that PETA is just going to have to wait in line....
The One With White, Hairy, Humanitarian Bowl Backside
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...
The Battle of Big Daddy Balls
One of my favorite parts of any playoff season is when the mayors of the opposing cities playing make silly food-related bets on the game's outcome....
Mike Patrick Has A Plaxidental Brain Fart On Air
ESPN play-by-play man Mike Patrick made a groan-inducing little comment during last night's Georgia/Michigan State Capital One Bowl, but does not appear to be in jeopardy of publicly apologizing for it....
Is This Man Your Next Denver Broncos Coach?
The ink wasn't dry on Mike Shanahan's honorable discharge before Broncos owner Pat Bowlen set the wheels in motion to find a new coach. The leading candidates: Bob Stoops and three others....
Starbury May Be Ready To Go Green
Stephon Marbury appears to be headed to the Celtics. All sharp instruments have been removed from Bill Simmons' house. [ESPN]...
The Year In ... Substance Abuse
It's the final day of our end-of-year retrospectives, as Charles Barkley gets in just under the wire with his arrest on suspicion of DUI. Today: Substance abuse!...