el Page 2299 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Big Dope Loses All His Cowboys Stuff. Poor, Dumb Sap
You hate to see anyone become the victim of a burglary, but at the same time it's hard to feel any sympathy for Bruce Marziani. Bruce was born and raised in Philadelphia, but is a Dallas Cowboys fan, as you can see. And when he traveled to Irving for the big Monday Night showdown with the Eagles, he...
Sock it To Me, Sir Alex
Michael Bertin writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin Sir Alex Ferguson can go fuck himself. Okay, literally, that might be a bit of a tall order, but he does have a saggy set of B-cups so he could at least give himself a good feeling up. I mean this with the utmost respect, of course—the guy h...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while updating your resume after making an unfortunate mistake at that magazine job... • NFL: Dallas Cowboys at Green Bay Packers- If I understand correctly the game will be a one-on-one contest between the two quarterbacks. [NBC] • MLB: Baltimore Orioles at New York Yankees- I'd be fa...
The Houston Astros Politely Reject Bud Selig's Apology
When Hurricane Ike rained on the party inside Minute Maid Park in Houston last weekend, Bud Selig infamously made the Astros play two games at a "neutral site", Milwaukee's Miller Park. As you can imagine, this was not well received in the Astros' clubhouse. Houston, which had been red hot prior to...
For Your Viewing Pleasure
• 12:00 — Golf: Ryder Cup [NBC] • 1:00 — MLB: Boston at Toronto [TBS] • 1:00 — NFL: Cincinnati at NY Giants [CBS] • 1:00 — NFL: Miami at New England [CBS] • 1:00 — NFL: Carolinaa at Minnesota[FOX] • 2:10 — MLB: St. Louis at Chicago Cubs [WGN] • 3:00 — WNBA: Detroit at Indiana [ESPN2] (Expect huge r...
Blue Is the Colour, Football Is the Game
We've had to wait since May's epic Champions League Final but the time has finally come for the Blues of Chelsea to take on the Red Devils of Manchester United. Holy crap, I'm all tingly. Obviously I'm a bit of a homer for Chelsea, which is why I won't be live blogging the contest. That and I'll be...
Terrelle Pryor Does Not Suck
Just because their season came to a crashing halt last weekend it doesn't mean it's too early to start setting things up for next year. After three games, including one crushing loss at USC, Jim Tressel has "finally" handed things over to Terrelle Pryor, the superhuman frosh who gives Ohioans yet an...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while trying to get a hold of this Mike Litoris fellow... • College Football: Arizona State vs. Georgia. Who cares if the Sun Devils don't have cheerleaders anymore. They still have trashy fun fans. [ABC] • College Footbal: Auburn vs. LSU. There is nothing wrong with SEC night games in...
For Your Viewing Pleasure
• In Progress — Golf: Ryder Cup [NBC] • 12:00 — College Football: East Carolina at North Carolina State [ESPN] • 1:00 — MLB: Boston at Toronto [TBS] • 3:00 — College Football: Arizona at UCLA [FSN] • 3:30 — College Footballl: Florida at Tennessee [CBS] • 3:55 — MLB: Minnesota at Tampa Bay [FOX] • 3...
Michael Beasley Is A Young Man In Need Of A Crazy Joe Clark-Like Figure
The NBA handed out punishments to former Kansas players Mario Chalmers and Darrell Arthur for that Rookie Transition Training incident, but it turns out that Kansas State's Michael Beasley was also there that night, partaking in the nefarious, smoky late night activities. The Heat's number one pick ...
He's Just Your Average Octogenarian Bodybuilder Who Will Not Die
Hmm. Yes, I guess this could technically be categorized as "Nightmare Fuel" but at the same time, there is something comforting in the fact that 80-year-old bodybuilders like Ray Moon do exist. Actually, not all. These men should only exist in the darkest corners of a mescaline-ravaged mind or a Gui...
Reilly's Column Not Edited For Creepy Sleaziness, But For Out Of Touch Lameness
Yesterday, we received an email about Rick Reilly's latest column on America's chances in the upcoming Ryder Cup, where he gives a list of reasons as to how Paul Azinger's Tiger-less squad could actually win this year's event. It's the usual Reilly-on-golf effort (probably his strongest subject) and...
Tyler Thigpen Will Guide The Chiefs To Victory Right After He Finishes Making Gentle Back Door Love To This Skeleton
What better way to kick off your Wednesday evening then to have Chiefs' new starting quarterback Tyler Thigpen mock rear-entering a skeletal model. Maybe Coastal Carolina University had just recently generated enough funding to support a human anatomy class and he was just overly excited. Remember, ...
Mark Cuban Wants You to Know: "Cellphone Cameras Are Not Your Friends."
Cuban went after defenseless cellphone cameras in the wake of Josh Howard's performance during the National Anthem before Allen Iverson's flag-football game. By the way, how is Allen Iverson's flag-football game not televised and how are all the players not mic'ed up? Couldn't this be a television ...
Raiders DT Tommy Kelly Celebrates Big Win With DUI
At least the Raiders didn't give Kelly a $50.5 million dollar contract with $18.6 million in guarantees last offseason. That would have been the largest contract in the history of the NFL for a defensive tackle. A defensive tackle who was coming off ACL surgery, only played in 7 games, recorded jus...
Clinton Portis and Brian Mitchell Radio Interview Goes Entertainingly Off The Rails
Yesterday, Clinton Portis went on John Thompson's radio show on WTEM 980 in Washington, D.C. and within minutes he and Thompson's co-host, former Redskin/Eagle Brian Mitchell , were at each others throats. B. Mitch has been critical of Portis in the past, which prompted the feud, and the DC Sports ...
Seriously, Did Tony Kornheiser Have Electroshock Therapy Before The Game Last Night?
Everything about the man seemed a bit ... off. From his wacky hair, to his glibness, to his bad jokes, to his worshipful Dallas Cowboy comments. And, of course, there was the odd apology he threw out there, after making this remark: ...
DeSean Jackson's End Zone Brainfartery Will Be Overlooked — For Now
Yes, last night was disappointing in many ways, but it has not completely killed my faith: I still like my team. If anything, last night's Eagles/Cowboys game proved that Donovan McNabb is fully-recovered and that DeSean Jackson, Philadelphia's own Barack Obama, is still on pace to be the greatest E...
Another Unfortunate High Five-Related Injury
Being a white guy isn't easy, my friends. We can't dance, there's nothing but Coldplay on our iPods, and when we try to high-five during sporting events, there are often tragic results. Witness these Cowboy fans on Monday night, trying to celebrate following a routine pass completion in the second q...
The Birdacity Of Hope Is What Helps Us Make It Through The Night
I am exhausted. Utterly, completely, wiped.I have been away from Philadelphia for what seems like years and living out of a suitcase. I am down one pair of underwear thanks to the damn figs and now on my last pair of reasonably clean clothes. (Ones that will only require two spritzes of Febreeze for...