el Page 2328 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Washington Versus Cleveland: The "LeBron Gets Knocks Out In The First Round?!" Series
Over the next few days, Basket Bawful and Free Darko will be previewing each NBA Playoff series. Basket Bawful looks at the Eastern Conference today, finishing with the series between the Washington Wizards and the Cleveland Cavaliers, which begins Saturday....
Spend An Expensive Evening With Joe Buck And His Lame Friends
Super-popular sports talking head Joe Buck is known for his baseball announcing, his self-effacing beer commercials, his disgust of pantomimed mooning, and for his affable Midwestern charm....
We Won't Even Talk About The Pirate Ship On His Ass
All we really know about Mr. John Herold here is that he was arrested for trespassing on Feb. 1, 2008, somewhere in Florida. Now, seeing that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers' season ended on Jan. 6, we have to assume that those are permanent tattoos, right? Must have seemed like a good idea at the time. Su...
Who's Sorry Now? Melo Edition
There is possibly no one on earth who is sorrier than Carmelo Anthony right now; his DUI arrest on Monday has placed him in a state of regret that can actually be seen from space. Call it the Great Wall of Remorse. We just couldn't ignore it here at Who's Sorry Now. Here's his statement, found on th...
Philadelphia Versus Detroit: The Feel-Good Killer Series
Over the next few days, Basket Bawful and Free Darko will be previewing each NBA Playoff series. Basket Bawful looks at the Eastern Conference today, continuing with the series between the Detroit Pistons and the Philadelphia 76ers, which begins Sunday....
Trevor Immelman, Big Black Dildos, Ham Sandwiches, Whippings And The Abandonment Of Game Plans
This is BALLS DEEP With Big Daddy Drew (Balls® is a registered trademark and has been used with the expressed written consent of AJ Daulerio). It's gonna be like an SI Point After column, only with dick jokes. You can email him here....
Atlanta Versus Boston: The Execution Series
Over the next few days, Basket Bawful and Free Darko will be previewing each NBA Playoff series. Basket Bawful looks at the Eastern Conference today, starting with the series between the Boston Celtics and the Atlanta Hawks, which begins Sunday....
The Obligatory Cardinals Post You've All Been Dreading
We know we're being idiots even discussing this, but we might not have the opportunity to point it out much longer: Our Cardinals are in first place and playing their asses off....
A Sad Good Night For Jose Lima
We feel like we write this every few months, but this time it looks like it's for real. Yes, the Jose Lima Era in baseball appears to have actually ended....
Stephen Colbert Unveils Latest In Philadelphia Sporting Attire
Stephen Colbert is in Philadelphia this week to film his PA primary-centric version of "The Colbert Report" and is ingratiating himself with the local animals quite nicely. Last night, he showed off this multi-teamed jersey that would surely be a big hit with some of the more ardent and more fashio...
Jackie Chan Threatens To Chop Protesters, Make 'Rush Hour 4'
Leave it to diminutive Kung Fu dervish Jackie Chan to put this Olympic Torch protest thing into perspective. Chan, who will be a torchbearer when the relay comes to Beijing next week, says that he will deal harshly with any miscreants who might try to grab the flame from his tiny, powerful mitts....
T-Bones Welcome Michael Vick To The Neighborhood
It's the glorious return of Minor Enterprise, a celebration of God's gift of Minor League baseball promotions. Also, we will plagiarize some Rachael Ray recipes....
Carmelo Anthony Absolutely, Unequivocally Bombed Out Of His Mind, Say Cops
The latest reports out of Denver about the DUI arrest of the booze-addled, snitch-averse Carmelo Anthony say that the Nuggets' star's level of impairment was, according to investigating officers, "extreme."...
Satan Gives Lakers Power of Levitation, Western Conference Title
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who says, "The world is looking mighty good to me, because Tootsie Rolls are all I see. Whatever it is I think I see, becomes a Tootsie Roll to me." When he's not loving himself some candy that looks like forest animal droppings, you can find him reaping sou...
About Last Night
What you missed while fighting the black knight with a lightsaber ... • NHL: You laughed at my Jonathan Cheechoo screensaver. Well, who's laughing now?! Sharks 3, Flames 2. • NBA: Lakers beat Kings 124-101, capture top seed in West. ESPN clinking champagne glasses right now. • Golf: Tiger Woods out ...
Do Protective Cups Even Help Any More?
In Saturday's 5-4 loss to the Capitals, the Flyers' Patrick Thoresen attempted to block a shot with his body and ended up getting drilled with the puck. But, unlike the thousands of other times this occurs during a hockey season, Thoresen got hit with the puck right in the peach basket, which dente...
The Joe Borowski Fury Makes Its 2008 Debut
We thought it would happen during last year's playoffs, but in the wake of a high-profile loss to the Red Sox last night, Indians fans have finally had enough: They're ready to take Joe Borowski out to the woodshed and, you know, do whatever you do to people behind the woodshed....
The Glue-Handed Patroller Of The Middle Exterior
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Red Smiths, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's...
Will Clark Is A Cackling Douche
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel, and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th ) awf...
Highway Robbery In The NBA
In more than 20 years of following professional basketball, I've never seen anything like this. The Philadelphia 76ers had seemingly beaten the Cleveland Cavaliers 90-89. Time had expired. The Sixers were in their locker room celebrating. But stop the presses! The referees had — after reviewing the ...