el Page 2329 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ortiz Slump Officially Over. Thanks, Yankees!
Here's the thing, Yankees fans. You may have thought that you were heading off some sort of curse by digging up that David Ortiz jersey that was buried beneath your new stadium. But consider this: While the jersey remained buried, it's owner was hitting .070; last in the majors. In his first game ba...

The NBA Playoff Guest List Is Ready. Guess Who's Not Invited?
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who don't want to work. He just want to bang on the drum all day. When he's not quoting obscure 80s lyrics, you can find him watching old episodes of The Smurfs at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Psyche! Part I. The game was over. The Sixers had won. In fact, the team...

Meet All The Herschel Walkers Tonight
Tonight, ABC's Nightline has an interview with former running back Herschel Walker about his battle with multiple-personality disorder. We find out that Herschel went so some very spooky places while in the throes of his disease, like suicidal thoughts and unpredictable violent urges. Walker's ex-wi...

The Cowboys Have A Preferred Long Distance Provider
They're still constructing the Dallas Cowboys' new stadium, and if you're one of those people who thought the Cowboys were too iconic a franchise to fall prey to stadium naming right, well, stop being so foolish....

Celine Dion Will Heal Olympic Rifts With Powerful Vocals
Celine Dion is about ready to choke a bitch if this Olympic boycott talk persists. Dion called on all people to "keep the dream possible for our young kids." She came to Beijing to express support for the Games after her concert in Shanghai on Friday....

Carmelo Anthony, Driving The Lane While Drinking
Carmelo Anthony, on the heels of one of the biggest wins for Denver of the season, continued his bad habit of doing something stupid at just the wrong times this morning: He got a DUI....

Dana White Says Kimbo/Liddell Fight Not Out Of The Realm Of Possibility
Last week,the UFC's mohawked maniac Chuck Liddell downplayed the success and viability of YouTube fighting phenom (and now EliteXC) figher Kimbo Slice, saying that the backyard brawler would get rocked in Mixed Martial Arts. Similar things have been said of Kimbo before, by plenty of other longtime ...

Erin Andrews' Calves Await Your Scrutiny
This candid photo of ESPN college sports vixen Erin Andrews attempting to gain the attention of a well-Under Armoured Tim Tebow suggests that the popular NCAA reporter princess is working very, very hard to get a salient quote from the Florida quarterback during the Gators annual spring game....

Michael Jordan Vs. "The Sheen Machine"
Back in 1988, there was some sort of network program called "War Of The Stars," We're guessing it was like that "Network Stars" show, but, you know, less popular, and with more Dick Van Patten. Well, NESW Sports has dug up archive footage of a young Michael Jordan playing basketball against … Marti...

How The West (And The MVP) Might Have Been Won
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who thinks that a Lakers/Celtics Finals is starting to look like a seriously real possibility. When he's not dusting off his old "I Hate The Lakers" t-shirt, you can find him practicing his "Beat L.A." chant at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...

Some Guy Other Than Tiger Wins Masters
There's something inherently charming about the ceremony that follows a Masters Championship. For winning the most prestigious golf tournament, you don't get a trophy, or a plaque, or an oversized check. You win a jacket. Here, friend, congratulations; have a jacket. Stay warm, friend....

You're the Immelman
It wasn't the most thrilling of finishes, but Trevor Immelman is your 2008 Masters champion regardless. Immelman, the first South African to be jacketed champion at Augusta since Gary Player in 1978, was able to protect the lead he held from the tournament's first round. Immelman's 75 wasn't all th...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while patiently waiting for Tiger to turn it up a notch... • MLB: New York Yankees at Boston Red Sox. Sigh [ESPN] • Hockey: New Jersey Devils at New York Rangers and San Jose Sharks at Calgary Flames. [Versus] • Animation: The Simpsons. Thank god. [FOX]...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while wondering why Tim Tebow's dad doesn't marry Jesus... • Boxing: Miguel Cotto vs. Alfonso Gomez and Antonio Margarito vs. Kermit Cintron. This card is awesome. • Boxing: Antonio Tarver vs. Clinton Woods and Chad Dawson vs. Glen Johnson. Large has a great rundown of the big fight ni...

Bryant Mercifully Leaves the Booth
Bryant Gumbel does excellent work for HBO Sports, but as a play-by-play announcer for the NFL Network he was terrible. Fortunately both parties came to terms with that fact, and we will no longer be subjected to any of his two-minute "mournings" or legendarily indecisive first down calls. Awful Anno...

Springtime For Meyer
• In Progress — CFB: Florida Gators Spring Game. Tebow is sick and Harvin has heel problems that tend to plague men of similar greatness. [ESPN] • In Progress — Tennis: WTA Bausch & Lomb Championships, Semifinal. It's Maria Sharapova and Lindsay Davenport if I'm not mistaken. [ESPN2] • 2:00 — Hockey...

Max Kellerman Dropping Science, Knowledge, Etc.
Here's a pretty amusing video unearthed by the kids at Fan IQ, which features Max Kellerman, ex of just about every sports channel in every capacity, in his pre-WWL days doing his best 3rd Bass impersonation with his late brother Sam. (Sam, sadly, was viciously murdered back in '04. Gorgeous story ...

Passing The Torch: Buenos Aires, You're Up
The beleaguered Olympic Torch is in Argentina today, where protesters in Buenos Aires say that they will be out in force, but will not try to snuff out the flame (wink, wink). Of course, crossing the Chinese government is one thing; but when you anger the McDonald's Corporation (pictured right), you...

This Is What The Dolphins See In (S)Him
These two festive ladies are not your regular Sugar Free Red Bull-guzzling party girls you'd find at Making Time. No, these big, strapping dollies are actually former Michigan offensive lineman. The one with the crutches is Adam Kraus. The one with the shaved belly and blue hair is potential number...

John Elway Is Always Watching You, Jay Cutler
We're hardly a booster of the "hard" "drinking" Jay Cutler, but as Jake Plummer can tell you, it's not easy being a starting quarterback in Denver. (Boy, we're all about Colorado today, aren't we?) Particularly when John Elway is second-guessing him all the time....