el Page 2346 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The NFL, In Short, Easy Bursts
We will confess, on this slow holiday Thursday afternoon, that we are a sucker for Kissing Suzy Kolber's NFL Picture Captions....
About Last Night
What you missed while tracking tiny infant Jesus via satellite ... • NBA: And up on the rim there arose such a clatter, I awoke from my coma to see what was the matter. Lakers 122, Suns 115. • Brett Favre wins USSA Male Athlete of the Year, narrowly beating Tom Brady and Nightmare Ant ... • Horse ra...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you settle down for a long winter's nap ... • NFL: Denver at San Diego. (8 p.m.) Shanahan looks as close to an elf as you're gonna get. [ESPN] • Movie: How The Grinch Stole Christmas (8 p.m.) They say that Belichick's heart grew three sizes that day. [ABC] • Movie: The Godfather (9 ...
Roger Clemens Discovers YouTube
Our immediate observations, mostly of a hopefully amusing nature:...
Today's Episode: Isiah Has An Epiphany
Skeets is off celebrating Christmas Eve the way that all Canadians do; pantsless and migrating with a herd of elk. So your NBA Closer today is being written by United States Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Alphonso Jackson. Do enjoy....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while perusing fake Craigslist ads... • 8:00 p.m. — Hawaii Bowl: East Carolina vs. Boise State. It's so inconvenient to have to bring your own blue paint on road trips, but it's worth it. [ESPN] • 8:15 p.m. — NFL: Redskins at Vikings. Or, a rematch of the colonization of Newfoundland. ...
He Who Wears This Jersey Shall Be Filled With Sudden Rage
By now it's probably too late to order any gifts online. That's why in case I forgot anybody, I bought The Simpsons Movie DVD and kept it unwrapped. "Oh, I knew you wanted this so badly, I forewent wrapping it. That's how much I care!" But if that special someone is a baseball fan, maybe they can wa...
Let's Take Off This Mask And See Who You REALLY Are
Congratulations to photographer Chris Detrick, who offers up a strong 11th hour entry into Most Disturbing Sports Photo Of The Year. The guy getting his eyes plucked out is BYU's Jonathan Tavernari. The poker is Jason Walberg. Oddly enough, there was no foul on this play, and Tavernari seems to have...
Kirk Radomski Is In Your Extended Network
This analysis of the names in the Mitchell Report? Yeah, we're not done with it yet. Slate compiled a nifty little web graph — an "interweb," if you will — of how the players heard about the butt-needling services of one Kirk Radomski. It's color coded and everything....
Mustaches Amplify Sadness
When you see Stan Van Gundy all pissed off on the TV, you have to go through a lot of mental logic to remember which team he coaches right now. Miami? Yeah, they're bad so that would make sense, but ... wait, no. Houston? I think so... oh, wrong Van Gundy. Cleveland? Does he coach Cleveland? Well, n...
Your Next Book Club Selection
Not that anyone will remember, considering it's the Friday before Christmas, but our Deadspin Book Club has made its next selection for its reading dissection. (Because dissection is pretty much what they did with the last one....
Athletes Being Sexually Assaulted Is Not A Refreshing Change Of Pace
As you might have heard already, a few players on the North Carolina football team had a scary incident. And make no mistake: It was a scary incident. It's one of those things that sounds funny on the surface but is actually creepier than one would think....
Najeh Davenport New Dump Truck For Steelers
The Steelers might have won last night — a loss would have been devastating to their hopes f staving off the Browns — but they lost running back Willie Parker for the rest of the year with a broken leg. (Good thing nobody plays fantasy football in Week 17.) And now only one man can save them: The Ha...
Battle Of The Stars
The NBA Closer is written by our own Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or spelunking, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy!...
The Rams Can Cure What Ails Ya
The Steelers wouldn't actually blow this thing, would they? The team with the handsome coach and the gay mascot have looked awful the last few weeks, and now the Browns are threatening to pass them. But they wouldn't fall so far to lose to the Rams, right? Right?...
Michael Vick Does Not Approve
We haven't quite wrapped our minds around this alleged news that Jonathan Papelbon's dog at the clinching ball from the World Series last year. We're not sure we believe it....
Curt Schilling Isn't Sure His Thoughts On The Mitchell Report, But He Knows He Has Them
We had no sooner told you about the past rock stylings of Curt Schilling when he decided to unleash an epic rant about the Mitchell Report....