el Page 2408 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
And Somewhere, Fred Smoot Sheds A Tear
The country is England, the sport is "Conger Cuddling," and the athlete pictured here is pointing his ... wait a minute ... no! His eel! He's preparing to toss an eel! You people are disgusting sometimes....
The Glamorous World Of Sports Journalism
The guy on the right here is Tony Jackson, the Dodgers beat writer for the Los Angeles Daily News, napping in the Shea Stadium dugout before a weekend game. And this is what happens when a beat reporter has to face the deadly triumvirate of:...
Now, Now, We're Sure Irvin Has Close To The Right Number Of Chromosomes
So that whole Tom Jackson calling Michael Irvin a "retard" thing from yesterday? Absolutely true, absolutely happened, and here's video, via Dejuiced....
Kornheiser, You're Being Glib
We mean no offense to Redskins fans, but when your owner is hosting Tom Cruise in his luxury box — when he's staying at your owner's house — we kind of think that maybe you deserve to lose....
Eventually, It Will Just Be A Graphic Below Irvin's Name
So we haven't actually seen this, so we need someone to confirm it for us, preferably with video. Let that be our disclaimer prologue....
Today In The Premiership...
• Everton 3-0 Liverpool. Now that is how you embarrass a rival team. The Toffees served up an ass-beating to their neighbors, with Tim Cahill putting Everton on the board in the 23rd minute, and Andrew Johnson finishing Liverpool off with goals in the 35th and the 90th. Everton finds themselves at t...
Obviously, The Breasts Are Sold Separately
As has been pointed out by Fark and a few other places, it appears that the famous dress worn by Jose Lima's somewhat heavily busomed wife when he sang the national anthem a few years ago — she was actually cropped out of accompanying photo by MLB.com, but we bring her back because we are all abou...
An Odd Way To Get Your Coach Off Your Back
Because we're just the kind of sniggering, obnoxious, wisenheimer 14-year-olds you think we are, we thought we'd giggle a bit this morning at Steelers lineback Joey Porter, who is in serious danger of becoming a staple around these parts....
Steelers Ruin Dolphins' Quest For Undefeated Season
The good news, Pittsburgh fans, is that you've won your opener 28-17 over the Miami Dolphins, behind three touchdown passes from Charlie Batch (!!!???) and an interception return for a touchdown from Joey Porter, who celebrated by setting the goalposts on fire and then eating them....
It's About Damned Time Charlie Batch Got Some National TV Exposure
You know the NFL season is upon us when Charlie Batch fastens his chinstrap and storms onto the field. It's really what the league's all about, no?...
NFL Pants Party: NFC East
People are saying that this division is so stacked that it's a pity someone has to finish last. We say think it's a pity someone has to finish first....
A Lesson In Self Preservation On The Mean Streets
Ever wonder what you would do if you had only an umbrella, and was attacked by someone wielding a long pole? What about using your walking stick to defend yourslef against a mob? (Matt Millen please take note). Thank God we've stumbled on the answer before you've gotten yourself into real trouble....
NFL Pants Party: AFC North
This might be our favorite division in football. Big Ben's bashed up face/appendix combo, Joey Porter, the Bengals cavalcade of feloniousness, Ray Lewis and sex tapes and murder raps ... oh, and the Browns too. What do the kids think?...
"This Is The Parts Where They Say Who They Thinks Gonna Win"
In his nightmares, this is what Chris Fowler imagines every viewer of College GameDay is like....
Hall Of Fame Inductee: You're With Me, Leather
Presenting ... the first member of the inaugural class of the Deadspin Hall Of Fame ......
Your Non-Headbutting European Soccer Update
We don't know a lot about soccer, but even we know that this doesn't appear to be cricket. In a move not seen since Brandon Cruz pitched for a Little League team named the Yankees in the film Bad News Bears, Chelsea's William Gallas has threatend to score an own goal if club manager Jose Mourinho fa...
Joey Porter's Eye On Romance
The best reason for seemingly archaic magazines like Sports Illustrated to exist is to humanize our athletes, to take them off the stat pages and bring them to life through real, vivid prose. (That, these days, runs about 1,100 words.) We can think of no other example than this week's profile of Ste...
The Daily Closer: Red Pinstripes In Morning, NL Take Warning
Notes from a day in baseball:...
NFL Season Preview: Pittsburgh Steelers
(We're still taking the day off, but we thought we'd toss this out there for you, so you had something today. Plus, it's really good. See you tomorrow.)...