eli Page 167 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You Put Baylor Fans In Kansas City, You're Gonna Get A Mustache
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
How To Destroy Baseball In One Easy Step
A special committee has been looking into way to solve baseball's parity problems, and one of the proposed fixes will blow your freaking mind. Picture realignment, every season, based on teams choosing the division they want to be in....
Dykstra Strikes Out With The Help, Gets Sued
His financial empire in ruins, can we begrudge Lenny Dykstra his desire for a blow job? Yes we can, when he wants it from his personal assistant, and it's entirely non-consensual....
Clippers Fandom Now An Exercise In Spiritual Enlightenment
"For me, being a Los Angeles Clippers fan for over twenty years has taught me firsthand about the spiritual dimensions of faith and suffering, and has helped me better understand my own Hindu tradition." [Huffington Post]...
What Are We To Do With Brittney Griner?
Baylor's Brittney Griner assaulted someone on a basketball court last night and after dealing with LeGarrette Blount and Elizabeth Lambert, it's still not clear what the appropriate level of hysterical moral outrage should be....
Unborn Baby Yao Causes An International Incident
Conspiracy theorists in China believe that Yao Ming just brought his pregnant wife back to the US so she can give birth to an American citizen. Lou Dobbs is not going to be happy....
Football Team Doesn't Like The News, So They Steal The Newspaper
Bad: Texas A&M-Commerce players busted with drugs. Worse: players take every copy on campus of the school newspaper running the story. Worserer: coach is proud of their "team-building exercise."...
Indiana Hazing Scandal Proves High School Kids Are Still Obnoxious
Carmel High School's basketball Senior Day was ruined—ruined!—by shameless tabloid reporters snooping around in the stands for salacious gossip. Oh, and the fact that three of the four seniors were kicked off the team for alleged forceable sodomy....
Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Miss Elizabeth
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Miss Elizabeth, who died in 2003 of an overdose at the home of her boyfriend, Lex Luger....
Tiger Woods Apologizes To A Bunch Of Toddlers
No, that headline doesn't refer to the wire services so loathed by Craggs. The Woods family wrote a note of apology to their daughter's daycare classmates....
Tiger's "Selfish" Apology Already Off To A Bad Start
Tiger Woods hasn't even shown up for his earth-shattering non-press conference, but he's already annoying everyone with his attention-hogging, me-first attitude....
In Praise Of Team Spicoli
I have a new favorite Olympian, and he is the guy who, when asked yesterday how it feels to be a member of the U.S. snowboarding team, responded with the following bit of bongwater poetry:...
Beer Is The Official Lifegiving Liquid Of Cleveland, And More Stories You Weren't Supposed To See
The Super Bowl is a black hole of news; anything non-football is quickly sucked in, never to escape into the public consciousness. Sometimes that's no accident. Here are three stories that were designed to fly under the radar....
Is That A Fleur de Lis In Your Throat Or Are You Just Drunk?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Stories That Don't Suck: Starstruck In N.O., Drunk In Indy, Badly Beaten In Yonkers, Gonzo At The Big Game
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....
Michael Irvin Accused Of Rape
A woman has accused Irvin and an accomplice of raping her in a Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in 2007. The Broward County Attorney's office is expected to decide next week if criminal charges will be brought. [Miami Herald]...
Astonishing Tales Of Insanity: The 23-Mile Parachute Jump vs. Rocket Sled
An Austrian skydiver is planning to jump out of a balloon 120,000 feet above the Earth. Is that more or less stupid than a guy strapping a muffler filled with gasoline to his back while sledding down a hill?...
Nutty Protesters Going After Hockey Now, Apparently
Westboro Baptist Church, best known for disrupting soldiers' funerals and being generally batshit insane, are currently — at this very moment! — picketing outside the Stars/Coyotes game in Dallas. Because nothing saith "abomination unto the Lord" like Marty Turco's goaltending....
Stories That Don't Suck: Salinger, A Georgian's Burden, Gary Hart And The Thank-You-For-Nots
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....
And On Saturday, The First Fan Became Joe Six-Pack
What an action-packed and important day it's been for Barack Obama. He sat courtside at Duke-Georgetown (oh shush, all of you), told Clark Kellogg he was gunning for his job and his administration wants to finally pass reform that matters....