England Page 12 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Adorable Dog On The Pitch Adorably Interrupts Field Hockey Game
England played Germany during pool play today at the Argentina World League final when ... aw, look at that! What a cute doggie! Such a cute doggie! She just wants to play! Look at her go! She's free! She's free and she loves it! That's a good girl! Such a good girl! Who wants a belly rub! You do, d...
No, Soccer Player Didn't Dedicate His Goal To A <em>Family Guy</em> Character
Striker Leigh Griffiths scored in the 16th minute for League One side Wolverhampton tonight, and lifted his shirt to reveal a message: "R.I.P. Brian."...
Soccer Team Issues Wonderfully Bitchy Statement Over Pee Allegations
Boreham Wood, in the sixth tier of English soccer, lost an FA Cup heartbreaker on Tuesday night at Carlisle United. Afterward, media accounts and photos showed the visitors' locker room to be a mess, including a tea kettle in a urinal, a broken door, and what was reportedly a puddle of urine on the ...
English Soccer Is Dead, And It Deserves To Be
World Cup qualifying runs this week, and a lot of what's going on involves glorified exhibition play. Continental giants like the Netherlands and Italy are booked for Brazil, as is our great nation; other teams of interest, like Germany, Spain, Portugal, and France are more or less box-checking. The...
What Is This Weird-Ass Sport I Saw On TV Yesterday?
Yesterday a reader tweeted at me, urging me to tune into Fox Sports Midwest where "unathletic adult men" were "racing tiny bikes around a tiny track." He wasn't lying, and I watched a good half hour without ever figuring out exactly what, or who, or where I was watching....
London Tube Map Redrawn With Footballer Names; England Rejoices
England's Football Association and the London Tube both turned 150 this year, so in commemoration the FA has released a neat soccer-themed version of the famed Tube map. As you can see in the excerpt above, each of the systems's near-400 stations (including the overgrounds) has been replaced by a no...
Here's A Truly Wonderful Article About Nothing
The single best story of the day comes from a tiny local paper in Surrey, England, and it's aboutthe most boring non-event ever....
A Photo Tribute To Drunk Scottish Fans
Today's Scotland-England friendly—only the fourth matchup between the two since the annual fixture was stopped in 1989—played out under the specter of next year's referendum on Scottish independence. So the Tartan Army was out in full force, gathering in London's Trafalgar Square before heading out ...
His Turf
Jump over the pond and check out the writing of Brough Scott. According to his website: "Brough Scott is one of the best known figures in racing and sport although he once received a viewer's letter stating 'you used to be the world's worst jockey, now you are the world's worst commentator, please s...
Check Out This Frickin' Beer-Cup Tower English Cricket Fans Built
Sometimes Internet scribes write some perfunctory story when all they want to do is post a fun picture, such this shot of a beer-cup pipe project by cricket fans in Nottingham, England....
Wayne Rooney Scored A Pretty Decent Goal Today
England traveled to Brazil today for an international friendly, and they for the most part got absolutely manhandled by the home side. Brazil had over 60% of the possession and took an obscene 32 shots to England's 11. It was a clinic start to finish. But Brazil didn't win. Actually, they almost los...
How Alex Ferguson Built A Manchester United That Can Win Without Him
Sir Alex Ferguson will manage for the last time on Sunday in an otherwise meaningless match at West Bromwich Albion. It's an anticlimactic end to a career that spanned four decades, but it's also a fitting one, since Manchester United wrapped up the title a month ago....
What Still Matters In The Premier League
Yesterday, Manchester United beat Aston Villa at Old Trafford, 3-0, to officially clinch the Premier League title. In truth, it had been theirs for months. As anticlimactic as their victory was, the Premier League focus now shifts to two vital races: the fight for Champions League qualification thro...
English Soccer Had A Violent, Cocaine-Fueled, Horse-Punching Weekend
The FA decided not to hold a minute of silence for Margaret Thatcher, fearing it would turn ugly. Instead, fans took it on themselves to recall the bad old days of the 1980s, with full-on brawls with opposing supporters, police, and each other....
"Dangerous" Triangular Flapjacks Banned In England, And The BBC Is All Over It
Here is a report from tonight's BBC News, and it includes the following statements:...
Carlos Tevez, Banned From Driving For Speeding In His Hummer, Was Arrested In His Porsche
Manchester City star and Argentina international Carlos Tevez was arrested for "driving while disqualified," which is British for driving with a suspended license. In January, Tevez was banned from driving for six months, a punishment for two speeding incidents in his Hummer last year. Last night, h...
"I Chase Him, I Bite Him, Bad Man, He Tasty": Police Dog Writes Witness Statement
Prosecutors in England, prepping for a case, repeatedly contacted a police department for details on the arrest—specifically, they demanded a witness statement from "PD Peach," an officer who assisted. The problem is, PD stands for Police Dog, and Peach is an adorable German Shepherd, and as such is...
Here's Video Of Newcastle's Danny Simpson Unconscious and Bleeding After A Late-Night Street Fight
Perhaps Danny Simpson is best known as a former Manchester United youth player, or as the boyfriend of a pop star and X Factor judge, rather than for his soccer skills. Now he can be the Newcastle defender who got knocked out outside a Manchester club late Saturday night! Surely that's an accompli...
Incredibly British Recap Of Knicks-Pistons Game In London Frets About "Jaunty Accordion Music" Playing Over The P.A.
The Knicks and Pistons played a basketball game in London this past Thursday at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, which is among the reasons you likely did not know about it. David Stern has been talking for some time about putting an NBA team in London permanently—multiple teams in Europe within the nex...
Mario Balotelli Does Thing
It seems like just last year that Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli was getting into fights with teammates during practice. Ah, but we've all grown so much since then. Now Balotelli is getting into fights with his manager....