England Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

England's FA Hopes Internet Shaming Will Prevent The Lads From Acting Like Absolute Knobs
The most recent instance of English lads descending on the Iberian peninsula for a soccer match ended up making international news after a Brit shoved an old man into a fountain. So it makes sense that England’s Football Association would want to stop any such debacle in its tracks as the Three Lio...

This British Lad's Body Art Is Quickly Becoming A Chronicle Of Failed Soccer Predictions
Meet Jamie. He’s a Leeds United supporter who was proper chuffed when his beloved club made it to the English Championship playoff semifinal, and was likely chuffed even further after they took a 1-0 lead against Derby County in the first leg. Jamie was so excited, in fact, that he decided to preemp...

Skateboarder Touches The Sky, Destroys Unsuspecting Passerby
The red-haired skater drops in from the highest launch ramp. He accelerates through the bottom of the halfpipe, hurtling towards the lip only to launch himself into the air before cresting the wave. For a brief moment, our hero kisses the sky. It is at this point that something terrible happens....

Bolton Wanderers Have Two Weeks To Stave Off Financial Ruin
Bolton Wanderers were one of the founding members of the world’s first soccer league. They won the first match held in Wembley Stadium. And now they might go into administration, effectively bankrupting the club and taking them out of England’s second division, the Championship, and into a murky fin...

The Royal Shrovetide Football Game Is A Very Dumb, Very English, And Very Good Sport
For centuries, the citizens of Ashbourne, England have annually contested the Royal Shrovetide Football match, a sprawling, chaotic wrestling match masquerading as a soccer game. The thicket of ruddy blokes you see up top there are members of two teams: the Down’ards and the Up’ards, thus named for ...

Angry Horse Racing Attendees Turn English Racecourse Into Merseyside Mosh Pit
Action at the Haydock racecourse had to be brought to a momentary halt on Saturday when a group of spectators engaged in a minor brawl in the area right next to the track. Initial reports estimated about anywhere from 40 to 60 people were involved in the tussle, but the Guardian reports that CCTV fo...

Chelsea Ban Four Fans In Conjunction With Alleged Racist Abuse Of Raheem Sterling
While local police investigate an incident during Saturday’s Chelsea-Manchester City match during which a Chelsea fan was caught on camera allegedly yelling racist shit at Raheem Sterling, Chelsea have identified four fans suspected of being involved and have banned them from attending matches while...

Amateur MMA Fighter Somehow Injures Both Of His Legs Celebrating His Knockout Win
Weird shit seems to happen all the time in the lower rungs of MMA. There was the guy who did a front flip off his opponent’s lifeless body, the guy who barfed all over the cage for no good reason, and the other guy who crapped a bunch in the cage (this one at least is not unique to regional MMA). Th...

Soccer Ref Suspended Three Weeks For Using Rock-Paper-Scissors Instead Of Coin Flip
Over in England, the FA has banned referee David McNamara for 21 days on the charge of “not acting in the best interests of the game,” after some unauthorized improvisation when he forgot his coin ahead of an Oct. 26 Reading-Manchester City match in the Women’s Super League. Because he didn’t have a...

James McClean's Refusal To Wear The Poppy Has Made Him The Most Hated Man In English Soccer
In England, Halloween ends and gives way to November in various ways: Pumpkins left on doorsteps begin their neglected descent into rot; the seasonal coffee flavoring changes to gingerbread; James McClean begins receiving death threats from a certain brand of soccer fan, including among his own supp...

Referee Joins Fans' Goal Celebration, Sips Beer Off The Ground
A great judgment call from a true professional....

World-Class Asshole Sergio Ramos Proves He Did Not Stomp On Raheem Sterling
Well what do you know, it turns out that world-class asshole Sergio Ramos was actually innocent of this one incident of assholery against Raheem Sterling in Monday’s Spain-England match....
![This Sure Looks Like World-Class Asshole Sergio Ramos Stomping On Raheem Sterling [Update: Ramos Is Innocent]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/undskortwl3k61cjdlck.gif)
This Sure Looks Like World-Class Asshole Sergio Ramos Stomping On Raheem Sterling [Update: Ramos Is Innocent]
Update [Oct. 17, 10:04 a.m.]: Today Sergio Ramos posted a video that proves he did not actually stomp on Raheem Sterling. The original version of this post can be found below....

Maybe Paco Alcácer Sold His Soul To The Devil For The Power To Score Whenever He Wants
Though Paco Alcácer’s goal today came when Spain were already down big in their UEFA Nations League match against England, the weight of the scoreline was never going to keep the corners of his mouth from turning upward in delight. Alcácer had stepped over the sideline and into a 3-0 hiding in the 5...

David Beckham Avoids Speeding Ticket Thanks To "Mr. Loophole" Lawyer<em></em>
Instead of paying a speeding ticket like a normal person might, David Beckham opted to plead not guilty and take this thing to court. There, his slick lawyer—known by British media as “Mr. Loophole”—got him off on a technicality, the BBC reported. ...

Huddersfield Player Commits One Damn Impressive Boner
This own goal from Huddersfield’s Juninho Bacuna came in stoppage time, with his team already down 1-0 to Stoke City in today’s League Cup match. Since Bacuna’s gaffe wasn’t the difference maker in the result, it’s okay to marvel at his impressively sliced shot, which would have been an all-timer ha...

English Teen Lauren Hemp Scores From The Right Flank With Her Right Flank<em></em>
If we were to build a pantheon of world soccer’s most lethal weapons, there are a few iconic appendages we can think of that would be locks to make it in: Lionel Messi’s left foot, Cristiano Ronaldo’s right, Abby Wambach’s head. To those ranks we must now add the right hip/stomach/ribs region of Lau...

Darts Crowd Just Completely Loses Its Shit Over A Perfect Nine-Dart Run
I suppose it’s worth setting up this clip with a bit of context: What you’re about to see is Gary “The Flying Scotsman” Anderson getting 501 with the minimum nine throws during a darts tournament in Blackpool, England. This is essentially the darts version of a perfect game, so you should be impress...

Belgium Topple England In Sweet, Satisfying Third-Place Match
Belgium topped England in a loose and entertaining third-place game Saturday, behind a couple terrifying quick-strike counterattack moves, and some delightfully screwy defending from the lads of England....

I Still Love You, England<em></em>
When I adopted England as my team for this America-free World Cup, I figured they would fuck me over by bowing out early, maybe underwhelming in the group stages. Instead, they REALLY fucked me over by making a run, getting my hopes up, and then collapsing against Croatia when they had more than a f...