eric Page 252 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Homer-Smacking Eric Thames Isn't Worried About Drug Tests Because He Has "A Lot Of Blood And Urine"
Home run hero Eric Thames spent last week abusing Reds pitching and mashing big taters, and he picked right back up where he left off this week, smacking three more cuadrangulares in the past two games. He now has eight home runs in six games against the Reds and 11 on the year....
Eric Staal Leaves Game After Scary Head-First Crash Into The Boards
The Wild got a scare midway through the second period today against the Blues when Eric Staal crashed headfirst into the boards. After laying crumpled on the ice for a few minutes while play was stopped, Staal was eventually able to climb to his feet and skate off on his own. ...
Cubs Pitching Coach Comes Very Close To Accusing Eric Thames Of Juicing
The Cubs just wrapped a three-game series against the Milwaukee Brewers, during which newly imported Brewers hitting sensation Eric Thames scored six runs and hit .545 with a home run. Thames has exploded onto the scene after spending a few years tearing up the KBO, and he looks like a completely di...
I Just Love This Juicero Story So Much
Of all the amazing sentences and couplets and paragraphs in this wonderful Bloomberg story about the troubles of a juice and juice-press technology company called Juicero Inc., I think the following is my favorite:...
The Time Has Come For <i>The Americans'</i> Philip Jennings To Defect
I like watching The Americans because I like watching two characters who are, without question, worse parents that I am. As much as I fuck up, I will never have to shield my kids from the fact that I have slaughtered dozens of innocent people, and I will not then attempt to indoctrinate the oldest o...
Clippers Owner Acquires Basic Grasp Of Political Economy For $10 Million
Clippers owner Steve Ballmer is one of the richest men in the United States, with an estimated net worth north of $27 billion. He was one of the very first Microsoft employees, and he worked as the company’s CEO for 14 years before stepping down and buying the Clippers in 2014. As an ultra-rich, rec...
Eric Thames Won't Stop Crushing Big Dingers
Last we heard from Eric Thames, the former MLB washout who went to the KBO and flexed all over the league, there was cautious optimism that he could carry over some of his form to Milwaukee and maybe make the mustachioed Brewers mascot guy slide down the home run slide a few times in the major leagu...
Semi-Pro Soccer Club Owner's Insane Pregame Speech Features R. Kelly Singalong, Threats Of Violence
We’ve all been there. Stuck in a room with coworkers or classmates, coerced into participating in some cheesy team-building exercise by a frothily manic leader seemingly halfway through an eight ball, trying to preserve some shred of dignity while feigning just enough engagement not to get yelled ou...
The NBA Wouldn't Let Tony Romo Play
Maybe the weirdest part of Tony Romo’s cosplay as a Make-a-Wish kid living out his dream to be a Dallas Maverick for a day is that owner Mark Cuban had been secretly teasing it for a while:...
Tony Romo's Jumper Is Wet
Just-retired Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo will be sitting on the Dallas Mavericks’ bench tonight, in full uniform, because all retirees deserve to live their best life. He also got to hang out at the Mavs’ shootaround today, and they even let him put on a pinnie and run some sets....
The Corporation Does Not Always Have To Win
As you’ve surely* seen by now, the big story of the day has to do with viral videos of some confusing group of United Airlines security and/or cops—it doesn’t matter, they’re all The Man—violently dragging a ticketed passenger out of his seat and off an overbooked Sunday flight. A computer had rand...
Tony Romo Will Wear Full Uniform, Spend Game On Bench For The Mavericks
With the news of Tony Romo’s retirement and move to the broadcast booth now official, the Mavericks have decided to honor him with something better than your usual rinky-dink pregame ceremony. They’ve instead opted to give him a “Maverick for a day” treatment that will reportedly include wearing a u...
We're The Only Ones Who Can Stop This War
A couple of weeks ago, despite their party controlling the entire legislative pipeline, the Republicans’ effort to unravel and replace the Affordable Care Act—a movement-defining initiative they’d been promising for over seven years—collapsed after a mere 17 days, without ever coming up for a formal...
Sport Recife Goes Berserk, Spends Match Trying FIFA-Style Golazos
Brazil’s Sport Recife is facing Uruguayan club Danubio in the first round of the Copa Sudamericana today, and each of their first two goals was extremely cool....
Eric Thames Is Back In The U.S. And Ready To Mash Big Taters
Eric Thames never managed to stick in the majors. He got 633 at-bats between the Blue Jays and Mariners from 2011-12, hit a few dingers, and then went to play ball in Korea. There, he became a damn folk hero, winning the MVP award, becoming the first KBO player to join the 40-40 club, and just gener...
Trump Conspiracy Tweetstorms Are The Infowars Of The Left
The fastest-growing career in America is not, as the Bureau of Labor Statistics would have you believe, in installing and repairing wind turbines. The fastest-growing career is doing 63 tweets in a row about why Donald Trump is a Manchurian president....
Arkansas Fans No Longer Allowed To Bring Guns Into Stadiums
Despite the best efforts of the NRA, gun owners in Arkansas will not be allowed to bring their concealed handguns to Razorbacks football games this year. The Arkansas House of Representatives passed SB 724 this afternoon with a 71-20 vote. The vote came a week after Governor Asa Hutchinson signed HB...
What Does Mike Pence Think Happens At Restaurants?<em></em><em></em>
Here is a deeply weird thing:...
This Is All You Need To Know About Paul Ryan's Tax Plan
Boyish scamp and retrograde class warrior Paul Ryan is turning his attention to “tax reform,” a term of art for the process of moving our nation’s wealth into the bank accounts of the very rich. Here is one statistic that tells the entire story. ...
Russell Westbrook Did It All In Thunder's Fourth-Quarter Comeback Win
The Oklahoma City Thunder went on a 14-0 fourth-quarter run to beat the Dallas Mavericks on Monday night, 92-91. Human lightning bolt Russell Westbrook scored 12 of those 14 points—including the game-winner with seven seconds left....