erie Page 98 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chris Kluwe Conditionally Surrenders No. 5 To New Vikings QB Donovan McNabb
Your morning roundup for July 30, the day we're provided with living proof that 32-year-old women are, in fact, into 83-year-old men. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Serie A Owner Storms Out Of Scheduling Meeting In Most Dramatic, Italian Way Ever
Aurelio De Laurentiis, the owner and savior of the soccer club S.S.C. Napoli, is also a successful Italian film producer in his native country. So we can forgive him for his penchant for the theatrical. But mio dio, his reaction to next season's Serie A fixtures was one for the ages. ...

This Pre-Race Prayer Might Actually Be The Most Redneck Moment In NASCAR History
Perhaps NASCAR, its Nationwide Series especially, looks like an extended redneck highlight reel, but last night's race in Gladeville, TN offered us one of the redneckiest moments you'll ever see. It came in the pre-race prayer—which, I suppose, duh—but we were so riveted that we shall now thank th...

Derek Jeter, Josh Hamilton, The Dodgers And Cliff Lee All Had Shining Moments Yesterday
Your morning roundup for July 10, the day it pays to be wary of people with wide faces....

South Carolina Athletic Director Welcomes Back Champion Team Of "Ice Cold Cocks"
The University of South Carolina held its second straight welcome home rally for its national champion baseball team on Wednesday. Everyone cheered and said nice things about the Gamecocks, and then it was Athletic Director Eric Hyman's turn to speak. Hyman said some more nice things, and then he ...

Where In The World Is Jaromir Jagr?
No one knows where Jaromir Jagr, 39, the once-mulleted, twice-Stanley-Cup-champion is. (Jagr's planning on returning to the NHL after a three-year absence, and his agent told us to expect a decision soon.) But people have theories....

Dumb Kid Tells Erin Andrews He's Going To Watch Her Video; Erin Andrews Tells Dumb Kid Off
Erin Andrews was on-site to cover the College World Series this week last year when a young autograph-seeker — a 12-year-old boy, according to this YouTube user — yelled out from the stands, "I'm gonna watch your video tomorrow!" Andrews looked directly at him and took a few steps forward and aske...

The Mystery Of Daniel Snyder's Short Legs
Daniel Snyder subpoena target Dan Steinberg of the Washington Post reports that according to FAA data gathered by the Wall Street Journal, Snyder's Red Zone Aviation jet was used 20 times last year from 2007-2010 to fly the 50 miles from Dulles International Airport to Winchester, Virginia. Here's w...

Listen To A Student Announcer Lose His Shit, Also His Voice
On Monday, Devon Rodriguez singled to right field with Cal down 8-7 in the bottom of the ninth with two outs and the bases loaded, and with his hit, the Golden Bears beat Baylor. It was a realization of the moment that every kid dreams of and narrates to himself on the neighborhood's playground di...

This Story About Rigged Italian Soccer Astoundingly Has Nothing To Do With Sepp Blatter
Sixteen people—including current Serie B/C and former Serie A players, including ex-Lazio captain Giuseppe Signori—were arrested today related to fishy results throughout Italy's leagues. We suppose this thing is a bit more common in Europe than it is here, but wow. This is the biggest match-fixing ...

FC Barcelona Proved They Were The Best Team In All Of Professional Sports Yesterday
Your morning roundup for May 29, the day Roger Ebert inexplicably gave two thumbs down to those who blatantly allowed two eyes to check out two foreign boobs....

Bryan Stow Opens His Eyes, But Doctors Still Can't Predict His Chances Of Recovery
Bryan Stow, the 42-year-old paramedic and San Francisco Giants fan brutally beaten by a pair of moral-maggot Dodger fans who have yet to be caught but most certainly will sizzle in Hell if such a place exists, has shown signs of improvement in recent days. Opening his eyes. No seizure activity in h...

When AC Milan Won The Italian Soccer Title, A Player Paid Homage To Michael Jackson
First, it was a hideous statue outside English Premier League team Fulham's stadium. Now, Michael Jackson continues exerting posthumous control over the living world of soccer; this time, Kevin Prince Boateng of AC Milan did a damn good impression as AC Milan celebrated winning the Scudetto (aka S...

Watch People Cheer For A Suicidal Turtle At The Players Championship
Your morning roundup for May 15, the day Lazy Cakes, Kush Cakes and Lulla Pies start becoming Public Enemy Nos. 1-3....

Here's Video Of A Pro Golfer Needing 16 Shots To Conquer A Par-4 Hole
Your morning roundup for April 15, the day after Walter Breuning died of natural causes. He was 114 years and 205 days old....

The Epic Story Of A New Jersey Prosecutor Who Stole My Idea And Made Fantasy Baseball History
"I got Rickey Henderson and Roger Clemens."...

Watch Dejan Stankovic Air Out A Goal From Midfield
Inter Milan's Dejan Stankovic scored a goal just 20 seconds into a Champions League game against Schalke last night in Milan. More accurately, Stankovic fluidly picked the ball out of the air from midfield and sent it searing past Schalke goalkeeper Manuel Neuer with one touch. From fifty meters o...

Hockey Player Misses A Check, Sails Directly Through Sheet Of Plexiglas
Minor league hockey player Patrick Bordeleau of the Lake Erie Monsters missed a hit and slammed straight through the Plexiglas on Friday night. Bordeleau went through the entire pane, raining down shattered glass and hellfire all over the scorer's bench....

Lingerie Football League May Exploit Lockout To Seduce The Lord's Day
Should the start of the NFL's 2011-12 season be delayed, officials with the Lingerie Football League announced that they may very well fill that gap....
