ESPN Page 95 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

USC's Robert Woods Couldn't Keep His Balance After A Helmet-To-Helmet Hit, Missed One Play
Above, the uncanny floundering of USC wide receiver and All-American Robert Woods after he got spun around on a helmet-to-helmet hit. The spin itself might have made him dizzy—Woods does a full 180 after the hit—but as Jesse Palmer noted during the aftermath, it was pretty obvious Woods had his "b...

Michael Wilbon Is A Gutless, Starfucking Crybaby Troll
For the past three decades, Mike Wilbon has earned a living barely disguising his contempt for you, the filthy peasant sports fan. Whether boasting to the world how unsurprised he was about Sean Taylor being murdered, or chastising you for looking to him for gossip from his White House partygoing, o...

Right After Bobby Valentine Gets Fired, ESPN Runs A Segment About Why He's Still The Manager Of The Red Sox
ESPN was covering the breaking news of Bobby Valentine's firing when the network accidentally aired a pre-recorded Tim Kurkjian segment, one that was presumably meant to air under the (unlikely) condition of Valentine returning as the Red Sox's manager for 2013. Oops. Chris McKendry did her best to ...

"Are We Live? Oh Shit." Liam Neeson Appears On <em>SportsCenter</em> And Has Absolutely No Idea What He's Being Asked
Liam Neeson dragged himself onto SportsCenter yesterday to pimp Taken 2 and wow. Has there ever been a guest on SportsCenter who was so unprepared to be a guest on SportsCenter? Neeson didn't like where it was headed from the get-go—he was being asked about the Jets—and wanted to start over. But w...

The Replacement Ref Disaster Was The Most Watched <i>Monday Night Football</i> So Far This Season: Last Week’s TV Ratings, In Context
A weekly feature wherein we contextualize TV ratings for national sports broadcasts. Data via Nielsen and Sports Business Journal's John Ourand. Viewership numbers represent approximate number of persons tuned to a given program; ratings share refers to the percentage of all households using a telev...

Bristolmetrics: The Best <em>SportsCenter</em> Of 2012
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week....

"You Can't Talk Enough Tebow": ESPN's Instructions To On-Air Talent
Doug Gottlieb, the former ESPN Radio host now bound for CBS, did an exit interview on The Dan Patrick Show today and confirmed what we all suspected. But to hear it spelled out this explicitly? Hoo boy. The symbiotic relationship between ESPN and Tebow is fertilized by orders from above, according t...

We're Not Sure Where "Milwaulke" Is, But Perhaps North Of "Chaigoh"
This is actually from last week, though provided the opportunity (and being out of town) we're running it today. This is one of the more curious spelling errors, as it's not a simple transposition of letters but the introduction of ones that don't belong there in the first place....


This Makes Too Much Terrible Sense: Isiah Thomas Is Up For A Studio Gig At ESPN
Is ESPN just trolling us? Phil Mushnick reported in The New York Post last week that Isiah Thomas is a "candidate for a studio position with ESPN," and a spokesman confirmed with USA Today that he had an audition....

The NHL Lockout Negotiations Have Been Kind Of A Joke
Did you know, that as of right now, the NHL season is still technically scheduled to start on time next Thursday? Yep, everyone is going about their business as if there's going to be meaningful hockey next week, as if all the best players will rushing back from Russia, as if the teams will re-hire ...

C'Mon, Man!
Remember when NFL Primetime was the shit? I know it may be difficult to imagine a time in which Chris Berman wasn't an intolerable blowhard, but indeed back in the days when the NFL's Sunday night game found ESPN home Berman was, simply, a tolerable blowhard....

In Least-Professional Broadcast Ever, ESPN Announcers Mock Wrecked Rallycross Driver As He's Taken To Hospital
ESPN's live broadcast of the Global Rallycross event in Las Vegas Saturday night turned bizarre as the feed—being recorded for later tape-delayed broadcast—revealed a series of bizarre comments by announcers in the aftermath of a driver's devastating accident....

ESPN Repeatedly Identifies Random Man As Former NFL Running Back Fred Taylor
Former Florida and Jaguars great Fred Taylor has a son, Kelvin, who like dad plays running back and is committed to play for the Gators. Kelvin's Glades Day squad made the trip up to Yulee for a battle of Florida high school heavyweights, and the ESPN broadcast focused mostly on Fred Taylor, who w...

Rick Reilly Fell Asleep At The Ryder Cup
As tweeted out by Sports Illustrated writer Alan Shipnuck. Shhh, Alan! He's working!...

Here's ESPN Sideline Reporter Lewis Johnson Interviewing A Statue Of A Pig
Only the latest entry in the recent tradition of sideline reporters "interviewing" animals or objects that, because they are not possessed of human intelligence, cannot respond to any questions. Background: that's a statue, and Lewis Johnson is a person, and he asks it questions, and it remains co...

Either Mark May Or Lou Holtz Burped Loudly On ESPN's College Football Halftime Show
Caught off guard when they threw it back to the studio during ESPN's halftime report, somebody burped loudly and directly into their microphone. We're thinking it probably wasn't Rece Davis, because he was getting ready to talk and seems to transition pretty well. So it could either be Mark May or ...

Desmond Howard Talked About "Beaver Juice" This Morning On <em>College GameDay</em>
Please do not discuss beaver juice. Anywhere. Desmond Howard elected to do exactly that this morning, and here's what happens. (Also, remix!)...

Falcons Safety Thomas DeCoud Played The Meow Game During An Interview On <em>SportsCenter</em>
Super Troopers has long been a cultural touchstone for shaggy-haired college dudes who like to watch movies when they're stoned. Spend enough time in any dormitory, and you're bound to hear someone yell, "He's already pulled over, he can't pull over any farther!" and then laugh before taking anot...

The 17 Types Of Highlights You See On <em>SportsCenter</em>
Here's something cool. We were flipping through ESPN 25: 25 Mind-Bending, Eye-Popping, Culture Morphing Years of Highlights, a 2004 book published by Disney. Tucked away inside Chapter 5? A taxonomy of ESPN highlights—what author Charles Hirschberg refers to as the "seminal 17." ...