ESPN Page 194 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Another Bill Simmons Cartoon: Cell Phone
Yay! This Week's "Episode:" "Cell Phone"...
Suggested Questions For Today's ESPN Chatters
Suggested Questions For Today's ESPN.com Chatters 12 p.m.: ESPN Golf School with Ed Bowe. One of my arms is shorter than the other, and O.J. Simpson has been following me for the past eight holes making stabbing motions with his putter. What should I do? 1 p.m.: NBA with Chad Ford. Which do you pref...
Justifiable Homicide
Charles Barkley, on TNT last evening: "There's only two people I want to kill. Skip Bayless and Jay Mariotti. One thing I learned about the press is it's a really powerful tool. And your shtick can't be, you get on TV and be evil everyday. Because people believe what you say. And Skip Bayless is evi...
ESPN Pretends It Cares
In a job that has to be the equivalent of being the head of the Nevada Gaming Commission, ESPN has hired George Solomon as its ombudsman, writes Michael Hiestand in USA Today. He will write a monthly column for ESPN.com pointing out "conflicts of interest" at the Worldwide Leader. Considering the ...
Suggested Questions For Today's ESPN Chatters
12:30 p.m.: Wake Forest point guard Chris Paul If you see Julius Hodge in the NBA, will you rap him in the nuts again? Or are you saving that for Shaq?...
Page 3 Vital Sign Check
Number of Page 3 stories in the last seven days: Three. Number of days since front-page photo has changed: Three. Date for the end of Dell content advertisement that is Page 3's Top (And Only) Ad: Yesterday....
Chad Ford Puts It On The Line
Now, we're not casting aspersions here, we're just asking, so don't get mad. But. This whole ordeal with Larry Brown leaving the Pistons and heading to the Cavaliers has everyone's hands in the air, shocked, appalled, stunned. Any goodwill Larry Brown built up is gone; even SI's Gary Smith can't d...
Whither David Aldridge?
An excellent post on SportsFrog.com brought up something we hadn't thought about in a while: Whatever did happen to David Aldridge? We know everyone was pretty pissed at him for that whole Celtics trade thing, but he was essentially banished for The Screamer That Is Stephen A. Smith. He supposedly...
Tampa Does What It Can To Please Bill Simmons
In a surprise announcement yesterday, the city of Tampa was awarded the Super Bowl in 2009. In a nod to the constant, insufferable bitching by everybody's favorite Interweb columnist, SportsFrog.com points out a key factor in the decision:...
Hire Stuart Scott!
Your career going nowhere? Relationship on the rocks? Feeling generally unmotivated? We know you're all nodding your heads, morose, defeated. Well, cheer up! Stuart Scott is here to motivate you! According to HireSportsSpeakers.com, you can have Stu come speak for a price that's "over $20,000." (...
Rob Neyer, International Man Of Mystery
Everybody's favorite mainstream stat dweeb Rob Neyer just started off his ESPN chat with this meaty missive:...
Big Cocks On ESPN (Sorry)
We might make fun of ESPN.com sometimes — a little, maybe — but they win big points for this article about cockfighting. It also ends with this classic line: "If I ever live in Guam, all bets are off."...
More Cartoon Idiocy at ESPN
"Episode Two" of "Off-Mikes" — the visual interpretation of Mike Greenberg's and Mike Golic's morning show — has premiered on ESPN.com. As usual, it's just a bunch of ADD animation with a couple of buffoon figures doing slapstick. A legitimate question: Who in the world likes this crap? We don't ...
Page 3 Brain Cell Destroyer Of The Day
Page 3 continues its slow, underfunded, rotting flop toward death they have to be averaging like three stories a week with an interview with Jon Bon Jovi. The dramatically maned one talks about ownership of AFL's Philadelphia Soul (his co-owner is Ron Jaworski!), his gripping performance in NBC's...
Bill Simmons Changes Format For 5,234th Time
You know what we admire about Bill Simmons? His rock-solid consistency. Once again, Bill is explaining to us again why his site updates with the regularity of a malfunctioning strobe light. Supposedly — and this was a little confusing — Bill's going to post short items on More Cowbell (exactly th...
Great Moments In Participatory Journalism
We really can't add much to this story of ESPN.com racing correspondent Bruce Martin being arrested for drunk driving and resisting arrest in Indianapolis....
New Bill Simmons Cartoon Arrives; Oscar In The Mail
The moment you've all been waiting in lines for months for is here: "Season Two" of the Bill Simmons cartoons!...
Cruelty To Boxers
We understand that it's kind of cool for ESPN to get an interview with James Toney, the boxer who just lost his championship belt after testing positive for steroids, so soon after the news came out. But forcing the poor man to answer questions on the "Budweiser Hot Seat" is just mean. Sample exchan...