et Page 1973 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Don't Worry, Carlos Zambrano: Ozzie Guillen And White Sammy Sosa Have Your Back
CSN Chicago reports that Zambrano—whom the Cubs suspended for 30 days, due to a big ol' meltdown—received text messages of support from Guillen and Sosa....

Logan Morrison Was Demoted Because Wes Helms Is A Super-Secret Double-Agent Mole: A Theory
Marlins outfielder/tweeter Logan Morrison was demoted to AAA New Orleans on Saturday night. It was a weird demotion, because Morrison ranks second in OPS on the team (ahead of first baseman Gaby Sanchez, and any outfielders who might replace him) and because the Marlins are 56-64, burnt toast....

Tom Brady Says He'll Never Get Over That Jets Loss
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Brady really, really hates losing....

A Gaggle Of Clever Sportswriters Is Starting A Long-Form Web Concern
The Classical bills itself as "a running, wide-ranging conversation between us and our readers about baseball, basketball, soccer, football and fighting, and about things that aren't sports, too." It'll have long features and blogs, modeling itself after The Awl....

Oh, Look. Mark Sanchez Is Shirtless In <em>GQ</em> Again.
Your morning roundup for Aug. 15, the day after we learned Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have moved on to a life of crime. Photo via GQ. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Yes, This IndyCar Driver Needed Both Middle Fingers For His Salute To The Race Officials Live On ABC (Update With Video)
Some background to driver Will Power's double-barreled message from today's Indy 225 at the New Hampshire Motor Speedway, courtesy of tipsters Dave and sassojr:...

Wisely, Ned Colletti Is Already Plotting His Exit Strategy
"Q: You're big on hockey. Any desire to be an NHL GM?...

Here's A Video About Hunting Mork Encino With A Pellet Pistol
Spoiler Alert: Mork "Hunting Bait" Encino survives this segment about his whole "you can hunt me for $10K (or $12K if you want me naked)" schtick. How can I be sure? Because he sent a private Twitter message this week about his talks to appear on the George Lopez Tonight show in the days before th...

Membership In "The James Bond Gang" May Have Cost Troubled Basketball Player His NBA Dream
In 2004, Sean Banks was named Conference USA freshman of the year for his court work at the University of Memphis. A year later, he was declared academically ineligible for his school work, or lack thereof. What followed was an undrafted free-agent singing with the Hornets that ended because of his...

Rex Ryan And Mike Francesa Finally Talk, Do Not Get In Fistfight
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the two loudest people in New York end their two-year-old feud....

Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: The Annihilation Of The Self Into A Greater Cosmos
Veteran pitcher Bartolo Colon resumed his philosophical explorations yesterday afternoon, facing the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Angels! Emissaries of the divine! But Colon met the Halos with yet another stolid performance: 6.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 3 K. One more no-decision, in one more eventual Yankees...

Drunkenly Pissing On The 11-Year-Old Daughter Of A Cancer Patient Will Cost You A Shot At The Olympics
And we can all thank Robert Vietze for teaching us that valuable lesson. Vietze, 18, literally pissed away his spot on the U.S. Ski Team during a red-eye flight from Portland to New York this week. Shorty after takeoff, Vietze staggered five rows in front of him and just started whizzing on the leg...

Making And Remaking History In Olympics-Addled Beijing
Adapted from Tom Scocca's Beijing Welcomes You: Unveiling the Capital City of the Future, available at your favorite bookseller....

Ron Artest Will Play In The Worst Basketball League In Europe
England could use a little peace right now, and they're getting Metta World Peace. Ron Artest, against the advice of his agent, his sponsors, and anyone who knows anything about basketball, has signed a deal to play for the Cheshire Jets of the British Basketball League....

OK, Who Stole A.J. Burnett's Tricycle?
Your morning roundup for Aug. 10, the day we realized we should probably change our password. Photo via Yahoo!/Getty Images. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Dolphins Linebacker Channing Crowder Retires At 27 To Spend More Time With His Own Crazy Thoughts: A Tribute
Miami released Crowder, its trash-talking linebacker, two weeks ago, and Crowder decided to retire today....

LeBron James Urges Americans To "Take A Sheet" At The Mall
Maybe you saw the ads during the NBA playoffs when LeBron James put some kind of radioactive-looking flavor strip on his tongue and nodded sagaciously. The strips are called Sheets. They contain as much caffeine as a cup of coffee, along with a few vitamins so we can all pretend this isn't a bad i...

Shannon Sharpe Looks More Bad-Ass Leaving A Port-A-Potty Than Anyone Else Does
This photo comes from tipster Michael, who says he took it backstage at the Hall of Fame induction ceremony over the weekend. Afterward, Sharpe delivered a great speech....

Chris Johnson's Holdout Is Good News For Titans Fans; Eagles Fans Should Probably Worry About DeSean Jackson
Happy August 9th! It's a day you should have circled on your football calendar, because today's the day that players have to report to camp in order to accrue a year of service. As dictated by the new CBA, any players still holding out for reworked contracts will have to wait an extra year for their...

The Mets Are Now Losing The Ability To Stand Upright
The Mets reached .500 with a 9-8 win over the Padres last night. They're now 57-57 and a mere 17.5 games out of first in the NL East. But on the second batter he faced, starter Mike Pelfrey did not inspire appropriate confidence for the 21,000 who made it out to Citi Field. We'll consider it just ...