et Page 2077 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Donovan McNabb Is So Totally Going To Dunk London Fletcher. Cannonball!
Update on the NBA-NFL rivalry: Kobe Bryant sells sneakers via gun violence whereas Donovan McNabb, cocktail umbrella behind ear, threatens Pro Bowl n00b London Fletcher (née Susan Lucci) with some badass hazing: "He'll get initiated at the pool bar." [USAToday]...
How Gross Do You Think It Gets Inside Those Green Suits?
"I still don't know what it symbolizes, but I like it!" says the delightfully dopey announcer about these two fine fellows who have taken up residence next to the penalty box at Canucks games. I feel the same way about this website....
OK, One Last Piece Of Brett Favre Schadenfreude
From the same Vikings radio team that brought you "This is not Detroit, man" comes this swaggering bit of audio, spoken just moments earlier: "Game's tied at 28. Fine. Because Brett Favre is the quarterback of the Minnesota Vikings."...
So You Think NU Can Dance, Weeks 4 & 5: We Are America's Team!
A weekly feature in which author Benoit Denizet-Lewis follows the fortunes of the only BCS school to have sucked so consistently and spectacularly that it has never made the NCAA tournament, Northwestern. Record: 14-6. Tournament prospects: Stranger things have happened....
This North Jersey-Indianapolis Turf War Is Getting Out Of Hand
No Taser this time, just a Jets fan getting his skull broken in a fight after Sunday's game. No suspects yet, as Midwesterners don't snitch, out of politeness. [Staten Island Advance]...
The Backup Catcher, The NBA Journeyman's Wife, And The Gropey Grandpa
More details emerge in the arrest of Gerald Laird and his prospect brother after a drunken brawl at a Suns game. The whole thing was set off when their grandfather groped a Celtics wife. Isn't that how it always happens?...
Marlins Find Hope In Long-Cancelled Star Trek Ripoff
In a 1993 episode of the surprisingly well-remembered show Seaquest DSV, Jonathan Brandis's character wears a Marlins 2010 World Champions jersey. Also, it predicted that talking dolphin would be sponsored by Sun Life. [Wezen-Ball]...
Media Reveals Its Giant Penis Envy Of Greg Oden
Since Greg Oden apologized to the world for the cellphone dong shots, many sports columnists have had to suffer through actually writing about it. There were plenty of cautious, you-have-to-be-careful-these-days, newsy approaches. Others, chose to focus on their own shortcomings....
NOLA Mayor Still Needs Super Bowl Tickets
He's got some good leads, though. Glengarry leads. "Some people seem to forget I come from the business environment. So I got contacts at ESPN, USAToday, you name it. So I'm going to work it out." [NOLA]...
FSN's Charissa Thompson Gave Some Interesting Twitter Commentary About Last Night's SOTU
Thompson, a sideline princess for Fox Sports and former "Best Damn" co-host, took to Twitter last night to share her thoughts on President Obama's SOTU address. She was reluctant, at first, but eventually just HAD to say something....
If MLB Had Relegation, This Would Be Quite The Battle
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Mets Employee Steals From Team; Surprisingly Not An Omar Signing
A Shea Stadium security guard, supposed to be looking out for looters, helped himself to pretty much anything not nailed down. Except Luis Castillo. The Mets can't pay people to take him. [NYDN]...
Because Everything Is About Brett Favre, Always
Reports have Elin Nordegren staying at Favre's Mississippi home while visiting Tiger in sex rehab, which we have yet to prove he's in anyway. If you piggyback a false rumor on another false rumor, does that make it true? [Via]...
What Lawyers Sound Like When They Talk About Greg Oden's Dong
Yesterday we received a friendly letter from BDA requesting we remove the teeny, tiny picture of Greg Oden's not-so-teeny-tiny penis. We did not oblige. Below, you'll find the charming back-and-forth between Gawker legal pit bull, Gaby Darbyshire, and Oden's representation....
Last Night's Winner: Devan Downey
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like South Carolina's Devan Downey, who out-Walled John Wall and continued to make it dangerous to be the No. 1-ranked team. Cocks....
The History Of Human Technological Advancement Has Led Up to This
The NFL announced plans to offer its RedZone Channel on cell phones starting next season. That sound you just heard was millions of people orgasming at once. [WSJ]...
Greg Oden Bares His Soul After Baring His Pole
Oden held a press conference with Portland media, and did the right thing in owning up to the photos. Now that the news cycle has played out, maybe we can put Greg Oden's penis behind us....
Sex Offender Comes Full Circle With Softball Coach
A softball coach is out of a job because her sex offender husband has been volunteer coaching the team. His criminal record: molesting the coach, when she was a high school student 25 years his junior....
Greg Oden Would Like To Apologize For His Appearance
"Those pictures were taken and sent over a year and a half ago. I've definitely grown since then." [95.5 The Game]...