et Page 2076 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Middle Schoolers Begin The Brett Favre Smear Campaign
Last week, the Wall Street Journal published an item in a notes column, detailing the possible scapegoats for the Vikings loss. No mention of Favre. That's not good enough for Mr. Kloepping's social studies class....

But Does It Have A Horrible Pun? You Brettcha!
Fans in Hattiesburg, Miss. (not Minnesota, mind you), have bought a billboard urging Favre to return to the Vikings. In the future, all human communication will take place via billboard. [Hattiesburg American, via RandBall]...

Louis Farrakhan's Grandson Picks Himself Up By His Bootstraps And Self-Reliantly Dunks On Guy's Head
Here's Virginia guard Mustapha Farrakhan, grandspawn of the leader of the Nation of Islam, hereby dubbed the Mutha Plane, stuffing some poor N.C. State fellow through the hoop. [YouTube, via Steinberg]...

'Remember The Titans' School Forgets How To Count
The Virginia school that inspired the movie has forfeited all their wins because their two star players happened to already complete their four years of high school. Nothing a rousing Denzel speech can't fix. [Connection Newspapers]...

Ma-Bu-Li In China: A Gallery
You read Anthony Tao's story about Stephon Marbury earlier today. The photos he took during his time on Marbury's trail offer further insight into the weirdness of the Lone Wolf's stint in the Chinese Basketball Association. With commentary by Tao....

Ball-Biting Incident Rocks Cricket To Its Juicy Core
Pakistan's captain was caught attempting to doctor a ball by biting it like an apple during a match against Australia. It's the sport's worst ball-related controversy since the Vaseline incident of 1976, which is just....ok, they're messing with us, right?...

The Lone Wolf Goes To China
Stephon Marbury is now a point guard for the Brave Dragons of Shanxi, where writer Anthony Tao finds Ma-Bu-Li trying to preserve his star among the coal heaps of a modern Chinese city....

Alabama Fax Machine Replaces Memphis Door As Inanimate Symbol Of Existential Dread
On this National Signing Day, Alabama is offering a live video feed of a fax machine. The machine periodically spits out a piece of paper. A name goes up on a board. Nothing to be done. [CBSSports.com, via Bourbon Boys]...

Last Night's Winner: Ankle Doctors
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like our nation's orthopedic specialists, who now hold the entire world in their hands like a big blue swollen ankle....

Even USC's Student-Athlete-Hangers-On Getting In Trouble
Kevin O'Neill fired the student manager who drew a technical during USC's loss on Saturday after yelling at officials. Say what you will about Tim Floyd, but at least he would have spent money on his student "volunteers." [LA Times]...

Take A Gander At Brett Favre's Disgusting Bruises
Bus Cook is emailing photos of Brett's black and blue parts to prove how banged up he was. Favre himself won't use it as an excuse for that interception, but don't worry....someone took care of that for him. [Jackson Clarion-Ledger]...

Super Bowl Subplot #5: Haiti's Pierre Garçon
A dilemma has struck the publishing world this week. How do you make that little tail thingy on the C in Pierre Garçon's name? More importantly, if we can't figure it out does that make us worse than Paul Shirley?...

The One Where Some Vindictive Lady Sends Us Pictures Of Matthew Stafford Making Out With His Girlfriend
Due to that awful stomach virus going around, I was unable to get to Deleted Scenes on Friday. Thanks for your concern. So this week you get a double-shot of unseemly Deadspin Deleted Scenes today and Friday....

Rex Ryan's Wayward Finger Is A Problem, For Some Reason
Rex Ryan is very sorry that he held up a middle finger to a bunch of drunks who were cursing at him. It really put a damper on the ritualistic human combat taking place directly behind him....

January: <em>Fin.</em>
We produce a lot of posts every month. Most of them disappear quickly. Some of them don't. Here are the 10 most popular posts from January, ranked low to high...

Globetrotters On Ice!
The Globetrotters will take on the Washington Generals (possibly including Conan O'Brien) on an ice rink next week. If this sounds like an old trick, remember the Nets only look like they're playing on ice. [NY Times]...

Tebow And The CFL: A Match Made In Inevitable, Inevitable Heaven
I'm not saying Tebow's negotiations with the Montreal Alouettes are evidence he will wash out of the draft, then head north to play football. I'm just saying the CFL pays better than the UFL....

Tonight's Most Important Basketball Game Was Valedictorian In High School
Two college basketball teams will battle for conference supremacy tonight in a game that involves a nationally-renowned point guard, allegations of casual racism, a murky college recruiting scandal, and a biting journalist Twitter feud. That's right: Harvard is playing Cornell....

And On Saturday, The First Fan Became Joe Six-Pack
What an action-packed and important day it's been for Barack Obama. He sat courtside at Duke-Georgetown (oh shush, all of you), told Clark Kellogg he was gunning for his job and his administration wants to finally pass reform that matters....

Dear God, Make Me A Bi-Plane, So I Can Fly Farve, Far Far Away From Here
These "Airplanes (Bi-Plane) Handcrafted of Bud Light Limited Edition Viking Cans" will fly you to just within miles of your destination before getting intercepted in mid-air. Cash Only! [Craigslist, via]...