et Page 2117 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The One Where Mitch Berger Goes Bananas
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Mets Fans Are A Bunch Of Decrepit Old Dudes, Poll Finds
Bad news, Mets: Women and anyone younger than 45 hate your guts. It's true! The New York Times took a poll....

Jeter Listens To Critics, Dies In A Fire
Jeter, a five-year-old Great Pyrenees dog, saved his owners' life by alerting them to a fire (so clutch!), but then needlessly ran back into the burning home and perished. Well, his range always was an issue. [Dayton Daily News]...

Nicklas Lidstrom's Busted Ballsack And Other Tales Of NHL Woe
If Detroit captain Nicklas Lidstrom looked a little sluggish at times during this Stanley Cup Finals, he has a very, very, very good excuse. He suffered a "nearly catastrophic" testicle injury in the Conference Finals. Now how do you feel?...

Steve Nash Auditions For His Next Job
No one knows how many miles Steve Nash has left on his little Canadian legs, but if he's looking to break into the late-night TV comedy game, his first test for his second career went fairly well....

ESPN The Magazine Takes The Swimsuit Issue To A Nuder Level
For its Oct. 19 issue, it's "approaching athletes about posing au naturel, albeit artfully covered or positioned. [Editor-in-chief Gary Belsky] adds the question is whether he can pull off the risqué issue without coming off as a 'laddie' magazine." [USAT]...

REMETEE Owner Passes Up Opportunity To Humiliate Desperate Women On National Television
Fact: Ryan Braun was asked to be on "The Bachelor." Fact: He said 'no thanks.' [Wisn.com]...

UCLA QB Announces Transfer Via Bizarre Press Release
Fact: A redshirt sophomore named Chris Forcier is leaving UCLA to play ball at Furman. Fact: His family decided to announce the move with one of the more batshit loony press releases you'll ever read....

Stan Van Gundy A "Working-Class Hero," Says Newspaper For Rich People (UPDATE)
There is no worse fate for an NBA final than to be turned into a roundtable discussion on the brilliance of the coach. Someone please tell the Wall Street Journal: Stan Van Gundy is not the reason people are watching....

NHL Did Not Rig The Stanley Cup Finals
Conspiracy theorists are apoplectic after learning that Red Wings' 2009 Stanley Cup Championship gear is already available for sale on the NHL website, but the cooler heads at Puck Daddy have already proven that the Penguins got the same treatment....

America's Verdict On Bud Selig's Draft Performance: "Boring LOL"
Poor Bud Selig can't walk in front of a camera without inspiring a visceral sort of loathing among, well, everyone. Case in point: last night, the baseball amateur draft's primetime debut....

Brad Childress Is Full Of Crap
Brad Childress came out of hiding today to complain about all those unscrupulous reporters and their unnamed sources who make up lies about Brad Childress and create nothing but trouble. Trouble he could end in two seconds if he'd just pick up the phone....

Bob Huggins Now Sporting Non-Metaphorical Black Eyes
Huggins, the bail bondsman who coaches college basketball games in his spare time, showed up to a fundraiser wearing shiners on either eye. The explanation? He lost a fight with his bathroom door. It happens....

Finally, Suffering In Shea Stadium Can Be Monetized
Shea Stadium's three-ton wrecking ball, the one that would look great on the mantle? It's up for auction. Starting price: $35,000, the cost of a seat at Yankee Stadium, give or take. Free shipping, too. [Home Run Derby]...

Yankee Stadium Homer Surge: Don't Blame The Weather, Say Weathermen
Everyone has a theory about the new, homerific Yankee Stadium — even meteorologists, who seem almost offended by the suggestion that the weather is to blame. Now, the weathermen have come to a conclusion: "Walls," they say, "not weather."...

Tim Floyd Sneaks Out Of USC
Tim Floyd had a nice little thing going at USC, until everyone started accusing him of being "corrupt" and "buying players." So he packed his bags and went home to Mississippi leaving that whole mess behind....

And This Is What Shows Up In Your Inbox The Day After You Do A Post About Transexual Filipino Basketball
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Today Everyone Is Finally Convinced Kobe Bryant Is One Of The NBA's Greatest Despite His Shaq-Filled, Jizz Bomb Past
The Lakers still need two more games to close out the Magic, but those people who never doubted Kobe's true greatness for most of his career are filing early to get a leg up on those who did....

Driver Jeremy Mayfield Experiments With Other Ways To Make His Car Go Faster
In a random drug test last month, NASCAR driver Jeremy Mayfield allegedly tested positive for methamphetamine. Because when you're looping around a congested oval at 200 miles per hour, why wouldn't you want to be hopped up on meth? [ESPN]...

Another Reason To Scrap The NBA's Age Rule: It's Probably Illegal
Here, via New York employment lawyer Louis Pechman, is yet another sensible argument against the NBA's minimum-age rule: It violates state discrimination laws....