et Page 2188 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while warming up the grill for a cheese race... • MLB: New York Yankees vs. New York Mets. Yep, plenty of erections in Bristol tonight. [ESPN] • Movie: Knocked Up. That's way too many chairs for one room. [HBO] • Sports Movie: Bang the Drum Slowly. Shouldn't there be a Hornets game ton...
Jelena Is Excitable
Jelena Jankovic defeated the unseeded Alizé Cornet in straight sets to retain her title in the Italian Open before celebrating with a bit of champagne....
Tyson Hits Cannes (Not Literally)
James Toback's film Tyson debuted on Friday night at the Cannes Film Festival, and reviews are about what you'd expect (the words "honest" and "self-serving" pop up quite a bit). The film is simple in it's approach, consisting mostly of Tyson speaking directly to the camera about how, and why, he's ...
Game Called On Account Of Jellyfish
Enjoy it while you can, Marlins fans. Your team may have won two World Series titles and is currently in first place in the NL Central East, but things have a way of evening out (Dontrelle Willis calls it karma). According to a study cited in the Orlando Sentinel, the polar ice caps are melting at s...
Wait, Stealing Condoms Is A Crime?
We remember when a friend of ours, in high school, gave us advice, handed down to him by his grandfather, on how to buy condoms. "The trick," he said, "is not to try to slip them in with other purchases, or anything like that. Sorry, man: You just have to steal them." We didn't take that tactic, but...
Ain't No Party Like A Vince Young Party
The shirtless drinking photos of Titans quarterback Vince Young have been circulating around the internet for the past 12 hours, with all sorts of questions as to what in the name of all that is Nelly is going on here. The photos, allegedly sent from a tipster who saw Young swigging and jigging at...
Has Troubled Joe Phillips Resurfaced Online?
Most of us not in the Kansas City-area probably heard first about former Chiefs' defensive lineman Joe Phillips' troubles through the fascinating HBO Real Sports segment from last January titled "Family Burden." The story focused on a handful of wives of ex-NFL players going through hard times physi...
About Last Night
What you missed while trying to figure out exactly what this guy did wrong ... • NBA: Jameer Nelson's prediction comes true; except for the part about the Magic winning. Detroit advances to sixth consecutive Eastern Conference Finals. • NHL: Penguins win 4-1 to set up dramatic four-game playoff come...
Examining The Procreation Habits Of The Modern Day Athlete For Fun
You've probably asked yourself a million times, "I wish there was a blog out there that would let me know how how Shawn Kemp Jr. Jr. Jr.'s doing or give me updates on Darren McFadden's paternity suit situation."...
Here Come The Red Wings ... Duck!
The NHL Closer is written by the Five Horsemen of the Apuckalypse from Melt Your Face Off. When not poring over the Book of Revelation for clues as to how to finally take out Gary Bettman, they can be found discovering new and inventive ways to commit blasphemy, blog-style. Weed Against Speed takes ...
Soccer. Balls.
For those lukewarm soccer enthusiasts who contend that more public nudity would greatly improve Europe's favorite foot-oriented sporting event, this is somewhat fantastic news. Recently, "more than 1,800 men and women have posed nude for US photographer Spencer Tunick in Vienna's Ernst Happel stadi...
O.J. Mayo's Not The Sharpest Trojan In The Jar
This whole O.J. Mayo affair is probably not surprising to anybody who has a healthy does of skepticism about heavily recruited college basketball players' long-term goals and their abilities to make sound life decisions. As soon as Mayo signed onto USC, it was pretty clear that this kid decided Sout...
Media Approval Ratings: Peter King
We were fortunate enough to meet Peter King once. We introduced ourselves, and he looked us up and down, not malevolently, and said, "How did you end up doing this?" We think he was referring to life as a professional blogger, rather than the fact that we were juggling octopi at the time....
Pink Bats, Red Faces; This One's For You, Mom
Here we go, writing about breasts again. Mother's Day was Sunday, and you know what that means: The pink bats were back. And while that's good for the fight against breast cancer, it was bad for the Cincinnati Reds, who just seemed to be horribly disoriented by the unfamiliar flashing colors. I supp...
About Last Night
What you missed while realizing that making fun of names is just too easy sometimes ... • NBA: It's Pau Gasol who's been carrying the Lakers all season, so why is it Kobe's back that hurts? Jazz 123, Lakers 115, OT. • MLB: Big Hurt ties Cal Ripken in all-time RBI; Athletics rough up Rangers. • Colle...
Chris Osgood's Feel-Good Story Comes To A Butt-End
While Mitch Albom was gushing over what a selfless mensch Chris Osgood is on the Sports Reporters this morning for gracefully stepping aside when the Red Wings signed Dominik Hasek, he conveniently ignored the cheap shot Osgood took with the butt-end of his stick to the Stars' Mike Ribeiro at the en...
Christian Laettner Inducted Into Hall Of Ethnic White People
For a Dukie, Christian Laettner had a decent enough NBA career: 13 seasons in the league with six teams, a member of the 1992 Dream Team and an All-Star reserve in 1997. And for that, he's going to the Hall. Oh no, you big silly, not the NBA Hall of Fame. He will enter The National Polish-American S...
Dick Vitale Is Quite Diligent
If you've seen "Hoop Dreams," or if you've seen one of his "motivational" speeches, you see a very different Dick Vitale than the one shilling for pizza or Duke. He's impassioned, sure, but he's also optimistic and, occasionally, legitimately uplifting. You get a sense that really does want to make ...
So, You've Been Watching Chris Paul, Right?
We know that the Hornets lost last night, and that the Lakers are sweeping through the playoffs, and that LeBron is kind of embarrassing himself a little bit. But all this playoff business only brings one thing to our mind: Heavens to Betsy, Chris Paul is freaking amazing....
All Hail Derek Jeter's Golden Baby Arm
It is times like these where Yankee-haters even must bow down to the catnip that is Derek Jeter's machismo. Maxim's Hot 100 list contains six women who've been romantically linked to the Yankee shortstop....