et Page 2214 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

ESPN Controls All Your Cricket Coverage Too
OK, so this is a cricket story, and it's kind of complicated, so bare with us. Essentially, Indian cricket player Harbhajan Singh is accused of calling Australia player Andrew Symonds a "monkey," and the Australians, less than pleased, drew charges against Singh for the remark. (It's summed up well ...

He's Totally Rich Because Her Dad Invented Toaster Streudels
It's probably best, at this point, to think of Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte as characters from "Mean Girls."...

You Had Me At "Hello," Julius Hodge.
The College Basketball Closer is written by the gang at Storming The Floor....

Night of the Living 'Sheed
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is in no way related to Kevin McHale and who has taken the necessary legal steps to ensure that it stays that way. When he's not building a life-sized Dirk Nowitzki out of LEGOs, he can be found making fart jokes at Basketbawful. Enjoy! • They did the m...

Santana Headed To Flushing, Finally
It's official (kind of): The Twins have traded Johan Santana to the Mets....

Deadspin Retro HOF Nominee: Pedro Guerrero
What would the sports world have looked like had Deadspin been around 20 years ago? Well, exactly the same as it looked back then, of course, but we still would have found a ridiculous amount of joy in making fun of the sports planet's more ridiculous humans....

Gilbert Arenas Wants You To Buy Our Book
Yes, yes, we know: We've hawked the book a bit around here, but we took a day off from it yesterday. (If just because we were in a plane for seven hours.) But don't worry, folks: Gilbert Arenas has our back....

We Crown Thee King Of The Suttons!
The College Basketball Closer is written by the gang at Storming The Floor....

Chris Paul Creates New And Better Realities, And Improves Conditions
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who is in no way related to Kevin McHale and who has taken the necessary legal steps to ensure that it stays that way. When he's not screaming in soulless rage at the merciless Pagan gods, he can be found making fart jokes at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...

Well, They Were Out Of Snausages
The suspect: Buddy, the black labrador. Crime: Chewing Super Bowl tickets. Last seen: Licking own privates. Other possible suspects: Rabid squirrel ... parakeet ... Roomba. Trial date: pending....

Just In Time For The Super Bowl: Strawberry Flavored Cheetos
Straight from the Will Leitch test kitchen Japan, get your mouth ready for the taste bud pants party that is Strawberry Flavored Cheetos! (Gagging sound). Poor Japan. Sure they kill whales, but do they deserve this kind of grief? They next thing you know we'll be stocking their shelves with Honey Bu...

Birdman Ready To Fly Again, This Time With Fewer Stimulants
It has only been two years, but still, a lot of people don't remember the maestro that was former Nugget and Hornet Chris Anderson. He's perhaps most famous for his performance in the slam dunk contest — Bill Simmons wrote, "Looking back, I think the best part was that he started off the contest by ...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Is There Room In Dayton For Chief Kickingstallionsims?
The College Basketball Closer is written by the gang at Storming The Floor....

Dick Questions For Coach Bob Huggins, Press *1 On Your Telephone Please
On Wednesday, Will told you about a group of pranksters who had successfully crashed some SEC women's basketball coaches' teleconference. On Thursday, Steinz informed the masses that the Big East men's coaches had been hit. On Friday, The Big Lead posted the audio. God, I love the Internets!...

Whoa! I Can't Even Tell Them Apart!
Tyler Pratt — um, pictured left — sent a photo of himself in to some Patriots look-alike contest saying people tell him he looks like Tom Brady. Apparently, Tyler Pratt works in a cave ... with blind people ... who are horrible fuckin' liars....

You Know, This Hornets Team Might Be Pretty Good
The NBA Closer is written by me, J.E. Skeets, high leader of The Moose. When I'm not busy scouring the box scores or part-time modeling, I can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast talkin' shit and spittin' rhymes. Enjoy!...

About Last Night
What you missed while changing your Facebook status ... a lot ... • NHL: Ovechkin "strikes out" in SuperSkills' breakaway challenge. • NBA: Bzzzzzzz ... Hornets sting Spurs by 24 to take the top spot in the West. • Tennis: Djokovic imitates Djokovic winning the Australian Open....

Best. Super Bowl Party. Ever.
Um, I think we found our winner — and runner-up — for this year's best Super Bowl party. Seriously. If Will doesn't take a field trip to this ... well, I'll kill him. I don't care if he has a book....
