et Page 2294 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Raccoons On Reign Of Terror
Most any parent with an older teenaged child knows the drill. First comes that phone call at midnight from a downtown police precinct, notifying you that there has been a mishap with your car. Then comes the question: How did our son/daughter get the keys? Now the Tennessee Titans front office can r...
T-Rac Is Probably Not Going To The Pro Bowl This Year
You wouldn't think that the responsibilities of a mascot would be too difficult to handle. Be nice to kids, jump around like an idiot when the home team scores, clutch your chest and act like you're dying when the away team scores, and throw out some cheap-ass team merchandize to fans who will act...
Judge Makes The Bold Move Of Questioning Maurice Clarett's Mental Health
The latest news in the Maurice Clarett situation isn't that he's being required to undergo a mental health evaluation. The news is that he doesn't think he needs one. When the judge ordered the evaluation, Clarett scoffed at him. He was later quoted as saying, "I clearly understand everything, and...
It's Never Too Early For College Hoops (OK, Maybe A Little)
So we know that college basketball is months away, and we're not even to football yet, and you all have better, more pressing things to worry about. But nevertheless, we love college basketball, so we're excited to point you to College Hoops.net's already-begun preview of the upcoming season....
Fictional League Somehow More Fictional Now
Now that the whole Maurice Clarett business has veered into Greek tragedy story with Tom Friend's breathtaking ESPN story, we turn our focus to the part of his story it's easy to make fun of: His "upcoming" stint with the Mahoning Valley Hitmen of the Eastern Indoor Football League, a league that ...
The Last Clarett Update
Probably time for one final update on our man Maurice Clarett, who has gotten himself in so much trouble that we're actually worried about him. And not just because we're afraid he'd shoot us....
That Confused Guy You See, That's Matt Doherty
Anybody wondering what former North Carolina men's basketball coach Matt Doherty has been up to? Anyone? Well, you might know he's coaching at SMU (and apparently already dealing with some NCAA violations). But did you know he was also embracing "new" "technology?"...
Minor Enterprise: A Mighty Wind
Welcome to Minor Enterprise, where each Wednesday we preview, and occasionally review, the great events and promotions of minor league baseball. If you have a tip about a minor league promotion, or perhaps you're dressed as a large mascot beaver and are hopelessly stuck in the suit, contact us at ti...
Gammons Back Where He Belongs: At A Ballpark
Outstanding news from the Cape Cod Times (with their first, and likely last, big scoop):...
This Could End Up Affecting The Eastern Indoor Football League Opener
It's almost no fun to point out Maurice Clarett's foibles anymore. But when cops pull him over with a bunch of loaded guns and a hatchet in the car, it's probably worth mentioning....
The Contest Results Are In
It's something the sight of which caused Mrs. Costanza to stumble and throw out her back, and truthfully, if she had seen this, it would have killed her. The 2006 Masturbate-a-thon is now in the record books, as approximately 50 participants — mostly men, and not including Mike Cooper — "dragged t...
USA Basketball Barely Escapes (And We Don't Mean "From China")
We don't mean to ruin it for those of you who had your Brazilian Tivos all set up, but USA Basketball just had its first serious scare in preparation for the World Championships, edging Brazil 90-86. The Americans led by 14 at halftime, but Brazil — led by the immortal Tiago Splitter — closed it lat...
The Closer: Liriano's Miner Setback
Notes from a day in baseball:...
Do NOT Mess With This Woman
We have always assumed that if a woman were to end up breaking through to compete on the highest professional athletic level, it would not be as a kicker, as has often been tried: It would be as a knuckleball pitcher in baseball. It doesn't hinge on strength, endurance or speed; it just requires pra...
Free Darko, Live On Scene, And Loving Jim Gray
Generally speaking, we think it's silly for online writers — who are the only ones free from the PR/press pass/everybody-play-nice circle jerk of commercialized athletics — to salivate over press passes as if they had, at last, been invited to the ball. But we will make an exception when the folks f...
Why We'd Sign With The Utah Jazz
Last week, the New York Daily News uncovered a steroid ring that could end up affecting some of the biggest, most beloved names in our sport. Today, their rivals at the New York Post uncovered that baseball players cheat on their wives....
Evidently, Larry Flynt Is In The Basketball Court Painting Business
I'm a little disappointed in myself that I didn't notice this. What you are looking at is the court on which Team USA drubbed Puerto Rico last night in an exhibition basketball game. And, as was noted at sethgunderson.com, the lane looks a little... well, penile....
Rhett Bomar's Next Home?
You know what school is interested in former Oklahoma quarterback Rhett Bomar? Division II school Texas A&M-Commerce. Rhett Bomar. Commerce. Irony....
Gentlemen, Start Your Wanking
Right now Carl Monday is snapping down the protective visor on his riot helmet, scrambling into the back of the WKYC Action News van and yelling "Let's roll!" Yes, the big Masturbate-A-Thon is tomorrow,* which, if you live in Europe, still leaves you plenty of time to get to Drop Studios in London...
Joe Torre, Back When He Had To Work A Little Bit
Even among people who hate the Yankees, there is a grudging respect for manager Joe Torre, who exemplifies class, stoicism and wisdom in a game that many consider often lacking in all three....