et Page 2293 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Board Meeting With LT
Can you imagine being in a corporate conference room with Lawrence Taylor? Wouldn't that have to make your week? If it happened on a Monday, we'd coast around our cubicle with a happy, dancing, spritely air ... Lawrence Taylor was here! In our conference room! Fucking shit up!...

Clinton Spends His One Night A Year With His Brother At Shea
We didn't notice this from our seat about three miles overhead, but former President Bill Clinton was at Shea Stadium last night, saying the fact that the Cardinals were the visiting team was at least part of the reason he came by....

It's Always Better To Stay On The Couch
Ugh. Remind us why we go to games in person again?...

Keep Your Girlfriend Away From Derek Jeter's Boat
Metromix, the "City" section of the Chicago Tribune, had readers vote on who they wanted to participate in something called the "Alfresco Flirts." I have no idea what that is, but they posted little profiles of the four people that were voted in, and when asked about a bad breakup, one guy said, "Oo...

Very Few Of Those 1.3 Billion Are Good Basketball Players
Team USA got back to their ass-romping ways this morning, beating China by a score of 121-90. Despite the presence of Yao Ming, China's not that good of a team. Really, they're probably the most poorly-equipped team to play the United States; they prefer (an unathletic) man defense, and their guar...

As Far As Wins Go, That Was Pretty Uncomfortable
It's just the first game, and a win's a win, but I'm not going to do any victory dances when we give up 100 points to Puerto Rico, either. Team USA did win by a score of 111-100, but they never really pulled away, they never dominated for a stretch longer than a couple of minutes, and they never rea...

NFL Season Preview: Tennessee Titans
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting ...

Clarett Story Continues To Take Scary Turns
Say what you will about the kids at Bristol, but they continue to move the needle on all matters Maurice Clarett, at least. The network learned yesterday that Clarett, who has had a rough couple of weeks, was in deep to the Israeli mob, and that might have been the reason he was, you know, carrying ...

Even Boxers Are Like, "This Dude's Too Violent"
We are not licensed public relations professionals. So maybe we're not in a position to give advice....

Yeah, We Want To Simulate THIS Guy
A couple of weeks ago, we told you about JJ Redick's appearance on the cover of NCAA College Hoops 2K7. Well, it turns out, it's much worse than you thought: They're actually doing the whole mo-cap suit thing to simulate his movements....

NFL Season Preview: Detroit Lions
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting ...

The Closer: Turns Out There's Some There, There
Notes from a day in baseball:...

Give Us Your Money, Then You Can Protest Us
We always enjoy a good fan protest, and if there's a place one is more warranted than in Baltimore, we don't know of one....

Favre Might Retire Today, Maybe, Probably Not
About 45 minutes ago, Pro Football Talk posted a doozy of a story (or rumor collection, as it were): Packers quarterback Brett Favre has called a press conference for 12:30 this afternoon in order to announce his retirement. Ah-ha! Got your attention with that one, didn't we? No? Well, OK, fine, so ...

Somebody Please Stop Jim Terry. Soon.
You might think this (CURRENTLY ON SALE!) T-shirt would be the work of a prankster on CafePress, the type of guy who does stupid knockoff T-shirts any one's whim....

Ain't No Party Like A Rock Chalk Party 'Cause A Rock Chalk Party Don't Stop
This is Tim Flattery. He is a freshman at the University of Kansas. He just tried out for the Rock Chalk Dance Team. And he made it....

(Almost) Everybody Loves Kornheiser
Well, the early reviews on Tony Kornheiser's debut on "Monday Night Football" are in ... and they're almost universally positive. Here's a sampling:...

Kornheiser's Big Debut On MNF; Hey, Watch Those Hands, Tirico
This tastefully choreographed publicity shot of what can probably best be described as "Mike Tirico Microphone Bukkake" signifies one thing: The new ESPN "Monday Night Football" crew is indeed kicking off tonight. Ignoring the wisdom of CBS banning sideline reporters entirely, the crew consists of...

Brett Myers' Easily Misinterpreted Punches To The Face
So, remember that Philadelphia minority owner who said Brett Myers' wife was lying when she said he hit her? At the time, he was publicly shushed by the other owners, and now it's easy to see why....

Already Some Trouble At Kansas State
OK, OK, we know that new Kansas State coach Bob Huggins just got to campus, and he can't be blamed for any players who might have been around before he showed up. (As for those who inevitably show up in the news over the next few years, hey, maybe the Bengals can draft them as a tight end.)...