et Page 2296 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

OK, Maybe Everyone Should Boo Dusty
OK, we understand that he had thrown a lot of pitches, and that he had walked five guys, and that the score was 0-0 and that he has been injured enough to need to be coddled a bit....

Also, They Make Their Tamales Way Too Hot
It takes a special kind of person to come into a verbal confrontation with White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen and come out looking like the more unreasonable one ... but if anyone can do it, it's Andy Van Slyke....

Someone Could Really Use Matlock Around Right Now
We don't mean to imply that matters have gotten as bad as they possibly could get for Maurice Clarett just two weeks before his robbery trial ... but they're as bad as they could possibly get....

New Team USA Looks Like Old Team USA
The preliminary/final/tentative/whatever they're calling it roster for USA Basketball has been set, and the talk continues to be about how "cohesive" and "team-oriented" the new roster is. (It helps when you have a leader who just happens to coach basketball.)...

More Mascot Nightmare Fuel From Our Friends In Japan
Japan is hosting the World Basketball Championships this year, and you know what that means: confusing cartoon mascots. You'll feel exactly like you've been hit over the head repeatedly with a Pachinko machine after viewing BAD Badtz-Maru — some sort of bad-ass penguin, we're told — and his "frien...

Ben Roethlisberger, Pure Country
Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, fresh off his apparent facial reconstruction that has somehow made him much more normal looking (and vaguely lobotomized) than he did before his motorcycle accident, is going to appear in a country music video. That in itself is no big deal. It's...

Hey, Coaches, Leave Those Kids Alone
If you enjoy watching tiny basketball players running rings around their confused, older and larger opponents, and you can't wait for the Golden State Warriors' season to start, then you'll enjoy the video here, which is part of a Washington Post story on 10-year-old phenom Justin Jenifer of Balti...

Morrison-Tyson: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Remember Tommy Morrison? In a more sports world with a little more flair than the one we inhabit, his story would be among the most compelling. Distant relative of John Wayne, co-star with Stallone in Rocky V, briefly heavyweight champion, beat George Foreman, spent 14 months in jail and, oh yeah,...

Bobby Knight Wants YOU
From We Are The Postmen, the fine people who brought you the profane Bobby Knight golf instructional video from a few months back, here's another great one, with Coach doing a recruiting video for the Marines....

Only A Matter Of Time Before This Becomes An Olympic Sport, You Know
It is at once Carl Monday's worst nightmare, and everyone else's dream come true. On August 5, hundreds of people will gather in a hall in central London to, um, pleasure themselves for charity. We only wish we were kidding about the UK's first "masturbate-a-thon," in which contestants — both men ...

Tsuyoshi Shinjo, SUPERSTAR!
We're not going to say anything about this Japanese video of New York Mets flop Tsuyoshi Shinjo. We're just going to show it. And then hide....

Gammons Out Of The Hospital
Excellent news: ESPN's Peter Gammons is out of the hospital and entering a rehabilitation center. It has been three weeks since his brain aneurysm, and his wife says he and his doctors are pleased with the progress he has been making....

What Game Are They Playing Here?
Someone sent us this photo from sort of cricket match this weekend. We don't watch cricket — we know, like, one guy who does, and he doesn't know who Peyton Manning is, if that tells you anything — so we're not up on the rules....

Tahoe Celebrity Golf; A Look Back
Deadspin associate editor Rick Chandler has just returned from the American Century Championship celebrity golf tournament at Stateline, Nev., which ended on Sunday. Above all else, he would like to report that actor Bruce McGill is a swell guy who bought us drinks, and tells amusing Animal House ...

It's Always Sunny In San Francisco, Apparently
Philadelphia pitcher Brett Myers, everybody's favorite wife flattener, returned to the Phillies yesterday for a game against the Giants in San Francisco. Before the game, he had given a statement apologizing for his actions and saying he was getting counseling. It sounded sincere enough that you w...

"One Shining Moment," It Is Not
Let's see... How do I go about explaning this to you. I, um... well... it's a song, that comes courtesy of Kentucky Sports Radio. It's a song written by the man pictured to your right, and... well, if you tried to imagine a song written and performed by that guy pictured to your right, it would so...

You Will Not Be Represented By Kobe Bryant This Summer
Reports (from no less than the awesome "ESPN.com news services") are surfacing that Kobe Bryant had arthroscopic surgery on his right knee this summer, and thus, won't be suiting up for Team USA's training camp, or pre-World Championship tour. The surgery itself is described as minor, but it is go...

Baby You Can Sign My Card
Deadspin associate editor Rick Chandler is at the American Century Championship celebrity golf tournament at Stateline, Nev., this week. He is not considered one of the celebrities. In fact, he has been called a wuss by Scott Hamilton. Here is the second of today's two reports....

Big Ben's Radio Buddy
We think you can probably tell a lot about an athlete by whom he/she chooses for their first post-big-career-moment interview. Which "reporter" shows them enough deference, respect and suck-up-itude to be handed that big scoop?...